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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26523553">Hear Me Now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeverMariaBlack/pseuds/SeverMariaBlack'>SeverMariaBlack</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action &amp; Romance, Dark Past, F/M, Family, Friendship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:41:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>61,635</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26523553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeverMariaBlack/pseuds/SeverMariaBlack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>[Formally titled IDGAF] Kolyat has arrived on the Citadel with a head full of unanswered questions and a heart full of pain. Shepard has been resurrected to reap vengeance on a sinister alien race being manipulated by the reapers. The two are trapped in their own ways, abandoned by those they had admired most. What happens when Kolyat joins the crew and the two become more than friends?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kolyat Krios/Female Shepard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Sins of the Son</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welcome readers,</p><p>Just a quick author's note. Please feel free to ignore and get right to reading!</p><p>This could seem very familiar to some of you readers. Originally, this project was titled "IDGAF," but I have re-titled and re-edited it. This is NOT a recently written piece of work; this is a re-write of an original story that I wrote ten years ago.</p><p>That being said, there is some new content and scenes in this story that I believe give it a fresh feel if you are a returning reader. Also, all of the poor grammar and spelling errors are being addressed. If you are new, thank you for stopping by and I hope you enjoy my take on a Shepard/Kolyat romance.</p><p>I just want to give credit to some people that were originally apart of this story's creation, as well as give credit to some new people helping me now. My original beta for this story was voltagelisa; she is very talented, and I believe she still has her own stories posted to FanFiction if you wish to check out her own work. I also had several followers who always encouraged me and became a wonderful support system throughout writing this; I still remember you all and I am still incredibly thankful to you!</p><p>New to the team is my extremely talented, wonderful, just graduated from UCLA, English major sister of mine. She is acting as my new beta to this project and has done a fantastic job with it. Thank you little sis, I much appreciate your hard work! Also, my equally wonderful and supportive husband is acting as a third set of eyes in reading over this story.</p><p>I have no creative claim to any of BioWare's world, characters, or plot that is featured in this story. There will be mature content in this work such as, but not limited to: cursing, violence, themes of domestic abuse, themes of child abuse, and mild sexual content. If you are underage, or might be triggered by any of the above, I recommend you do not continue.</p><p>Thank you, and I hope you enjoy,</p><p>SeverMariaBlack</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Even from the catwalks, the noise from the club below was deafening. Commander Selene Shepard watched her targets maneuver around the wall-to-wall bodies, the strobe lights pulsating to the beat of the music. It was a struggle to keep an eye on the krogan and turian; her associate lost among the throng of people reported the same problem. Selene felt foolish for losing a krogan of all species, but there was no denying it at this point: the turian, Tallied, and his bodyguard were beyond her sight.</p><p>With a frustrated growl, Shepard reached for her comm and reported to the assassin below. "Thane, I lost them in the crowd. The fucking club is too packed, let's head them off at Tallied's apartment."</p><p>Thankfully, the duo had a reasonable idea of where Tallied would go next. His apartment was only a few blocks from their current location. With luck, they could intercept him there. Selene gave one last look around, searching the club below for any signs of their primary target: Thane's son, Kolyat. If they were having a hard time tailing Tallied, she was sure that Kolyat would have even more difficulty. Hopefully, he would also retreat to the turian's apartment.</p><p>Selene gave one last curse under her breath before abandoning her survey of the room. She sprinted in the direction that Bailey had given her to the 800 blocks, hoping they could beat Tallied home. She couldn't detect Thane amongst the chaos, but she knew with certainty he was down below, moving as quickly as she was.</p><p>Shepard came across a stock boy as she rounded the last corner towards her destination. The kid stood like a dear in her headlights, shaken by her sudden appearance.</p><p>"Ma'am, you can't—" he began, but was cut off sharply by Selene's well-placed punch. He crumbled to the ground, but he earned Selene's begrudging respect for verbally confronting her. She gave a soft apology to the empty space he once stood, stepping over his unconscious form.</p><p>He would have a headache when he finally came to, but otherwise he would be fine.</p><p>Shepard stormed through the next door, determination keeping her body taut and alert. Her vision zeroed in on the apartment building in the distance. She jogged to the ledge of the building and peered down below, her eyes immediately locked on Tallied and his bodyguard as they exited the building. The commander's eyes scanned the plaza quickly, searching for any sign of Kolyat.</p><p>Her attention was immediately snatched by a figure immerging from the shadows, leaning against a wall nearby. As Selene reached behind her for her sniper rifle, the tall frame of the man came into view. Kolyat stood below her, a blue scaled drell dressed in familiar form fitting leather.</p><p>Selene instructed EDI to shut down the cameras in the square, she didn't want any video footage to be taken. She watched as the younger drell rubbed at his eyes tiredly, his mouth turning down into a frown as he stepped out into the open.</p><p>Selene wondered with a pang of sympathy why he would continue with this assassination when he was clearly conflicted. The Commander was pulled from her thoughts as Kolyat fell into step behind his targets, reaching for his pistol as he tried to remain subtle.</p><p>Kneeling to the ground, she lined up her shot with the sniper scope and took aim.</p><p>The courtyard was filled with screams and charged with frantic anxiety as the shot rang out with a loud, clear crack. Startled civilians ran in all directions across the plaza, bumping into each other and stumbling away from the now dead turian's body. Tallied's bodyguard searched the area with sharp eyes, trying to locate the assassin.</p><p>The krogan's gaze landed on the only visible threat in front of him: Kolyat, standing a few paces away with his pistol half unholstered, eyes wide. Selene watched with mild curiosity as the drell stumbled back in surprise, staring down the angry Blood Pack mercenary's gun barrel. Kolyat did not run, but he did not try and defend himself either. Regardless, the distraction was all the time Selene needed to reload and take her last shot.</p><p>The bullet whizzed by Kolyat's face, barely missing him. The drell ducked down in alarm as the krogan fell back with the impact of the bullet in his skull. The Commander smirked down her scope at him, taking slight enjoyment at startling him.</p><p>Kolyat anxiously scanned the now deserted area in front of him. He noticed some terrified looking faces peaking over shop stalls or out of windows, none of which were carrying a firearm. His head jerked upward to the catwalks above. Through the darkness and railing of the ledge, Kolyat could glimpse a presence in the shadows.</p><p>He squinted his eyes, hoping to spot any details.</p><p>The figure stood suddenly, returning their weapon to the holster on their back. He could barely make out the smaller form of the stranger as they leapt over the balcony and landed gracefully to the floor below.</p><p>Kolyat's lips parted in disbelief as a human woman came into view, making her slow progress to him, her gait resembling a lazy stroll.</p><p>How her legs hadn't snapped in half upon impact was beyond him. The distance between the floor and the balcony had to be at least a twelve-foot drop. Why had she killed his target? Who the hell is she? The questions raced through Kolyat's mind as he stood rooted to the ground, too stunned to move.</p><p>The mystery assassin was clad in all black like a shadow herself: a pair of black boots, fitted jeans, and a high-collared leather jacket thrown over a plain black t-shirt. Waves of dark hair cascaded down to the middle of her back, framing a light-brown, oval face.</p><p>Her full lips were slightly quirked at the corner in a smirk, and her intense silver-green eyes were locked on to his larger black ones. Kolyat felt his body tense under her powerful gaze, as she stopped a few feet from him. He took particular notice of the large, menacing knife strapped to her thigh, and the pistol holstered at her hip. He briefly recalled with unease the sniper rifle at her back.</p><p>Through the cacophony of confusion and fear fogging his mind, he couldn't deny the fact that she was an attractive woman, if a bit terrifying.</p><p>Though she only stood perhaps five foot five, several inches below him, her athletic frame radiated a confidence that made her feel much taller and more powerful than a person her size normally would. She looked at him with amusement, the smirk that still played at her full lips making the freckles splashed across her nose bunch together.</p><p>The abnormal orange glow from the scars on her face seemed to burn brighter as she examined him with interest.</p><p>"You going to get off the floor, or you just going to continue to sit at my feet?" Her voice was deep, but pleasantly warm, and her words seemed to roll off her tongue with ease. She spoke smoothly and with purpose, as if this was just a normal conversation.</p><p>Time had momentarily paused in the breadth of the moment, but his surroundings flooded in once more. The lights above were giving off a silver glow around her, making her feel ethereal in the empty space, the backdrop of the Citadel's dusk cycle played behind her.</p><p>A flashback of his childhood came unbidden to his mind: the stories his parents use to tell him of the warrior angels of Arashu. The beautifully terrifying creatures were described as fierce in their wrath to those that deserved it and tenacious protectors over the innocent. Currently, Kolyat was not sure which one the creature before him judged him to be.</p><p>When he was young, he had been captivated by the stories of the gods and goddesses of the past. The omnipresent creators of the world who were responsible for everything and everyone in the galaxy. However, after his mother was taken from him in the cruelest manner possible, he stopped believing in those gods. Why should he pray to gods that did not care for him? Why should he believe they existed?</p><p>The woman in front of him made him rethink those questions.</p><p>Kolyat forcibly shook the ridiculous thoughts from his head, his face hardening as he stood. This was a human, not an angel.</p><p>The man towered over the smaller woman; he was nearly a full foot taller than her.</p><p>For a split second, Kolyat contemplated reaching for his gun. This human had killed his target without hesitation, and with one of the cleanest shots he had ever seen. It was probably unwise to threaten her.</p><p>"What do you want? And why did you kill those men?" he asked instead, curious despite the admittedly dangerous scenario.</p><p>While Kolyat's attention had been fixated on the Commander, Thane Krios had located Selene and watched the scene unfold from the shadows behind her. Though Kolyat remained oblivious to his father's presence, Selene knew Thane was there. She turned to the side and jerked her head toward his son, inviting the nervous drell to join the conversation.</p><p>"I think this man can answer those questions for you."</p><p>Selene moved out of the way, revealing Thane. He walked towards the pair with his head hung low, appearing as if he were walking to his own execution. Shepard felt sympathy for her friend, and she remained close enough to give support, or protection, depending on how this conversation turned out.</p><p>Kolyat's face exploded into shock, then quickly shifted to anger. He gritted his teeth, his hands fisting at his sides. Shepard casually fingered her pistol, watching the younger drell closely.</p><p>She had not forgotten that he was still armed.</p><p>Thane apprehensively stood before his son, melancholy keeping him from starting the difficult conversation.</p><p>Shepard surveyed the two as Kolyat continued to glare in open hatred at his father. Thane could barely meet his son's eyes. She remained silent, the awkwardness expanding into full-fledged tension, wishing she could break the silence herself. However, she knew that she needed to let them work some of this out on their own.</p><p>As the silence stretched on, she took the opportunity to compare the two men side-by-side.</p><p>She noticed Kolyat was a couple inches taller than his father, but with a slimmer build. Kolyat had a more prominent chin than Thane, his lips slightly wider with a fuller bottom lip. Kolyat's coloring was also different than his father's, shades of dark blue dominated his scales, fading into teal. The ribbing at his neck was a deep magenta and the black markings that decorated his features outlined his high cheeks and thin face.</p><p>Despite the glaring differences between the father and son, there were a few noticeable similarities: the matching hexagons at their forehead's, and the large, calculating onyx black eyes. Selene remembered when Kolyat had spoken, the sound of his rumbling voice was as deep as Thane's as well.</p><p>"Kolyat." Thane's voice came out as little more than a breath, his expression falling away to worry and uncertainty, not something Selene was used to seeing on her friend.</p><p>"This . . . this is a joke. Now, now you show up?" Kolyat spat incredulously.</p><p>He could not believe that his father was standing before him after all these years. The blue drell's attention snapped to the human that stood behind Thane; he turned his glare on her.</p><p>"Why did you even bother bringing him? Whatever it is you want, you will not accomplish it by having my father speak to me."</p><p>Selene narrowed her eyes at him but spoke calmly. "I didn't bring him, he brought me. We came to stop you from making a horrible mistake, Kolyat. I suggest you listen to what your father has to say, he doesn't have much time in this world."</p><p>"What, so you came to get my forgiveness? So you could die in peace or something?" Kolyat growled spitefully, glaring at his father.</p><p>Thane took a few hesitant steps closer to his son. If he could not build a relationship with Kolyat, so be it, but he needed to know everything.</p><p>"I came to grant you peace," Thane whispered. "You're angry because I was not there when your mother died."</p><p>"You weren't there when she was alive, why would you be there when she died?" The young drell yelled, reaching for his gun in his anger. Shepard did not hesitate. She drew her pistol fast, shooting at the hip. The bullet grazed Kolyat's bicep, causing him to drop his gun and clutch at his arm.</p><p>"Fuck!" He looked murderously at Shepard. "You fucking bitch!"</p><p>Selene smirked at him, putting her pistol in its holster. She winked at Kolyat, "Your lucky that's all I did. I usually kill people who pull guns on my teammates."</p><p>She did not think he would actually shoot Thane. Kolyat was angry, confused, and hurt, but she suspected that he did not wish to see another parent die. Let alone be the one to murder his father. The younger drell was being forced to process twelve years of abandonment issues at the sudden appearance of his father. Thane was trying to assume a role that he had essentially abandoned when it mattered most. Regardless, Shepard was not about to risk her teammate getting shot.</p><p>Thane looked disapprovingly at her, shaking his head. Selene shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest, making her feelings clear on the matter.</p><p>Thane returned his gaze to his son, who held his arm and continued to glare at Shepard as if he wanted to attack her. Thane noticed small amounts of blood escape through the boy's fingers, but the wound was not fatal.</p><p>"Kolyat." Thane brought his son's attention back on him, "Your mother . . . they killed her to get to me. It was my fault."</p><p>Selene winced at Thane's confession, wondering if leading with that statement was the wisest choice. She wanted to object but bit her tongue.</p><p>Kolyat's hostility faltered, scrunching his eyebrows together in open confusion.</p><p>"What?'" Kolyat questioned softly.</p><p>He had always believed that his mother's murder had been a random attack. Possibly by thieves who she had crossed while they broke into their home. He had never considered his absentee father's role in her wrongful demise; even after he had prematurely come into knowing what Thane did for a living.</p><p>Before Thane could continue, EDI's voice came over both the Commander's and his comms, loud enough for Kolyat to hear.</p><p>"Shepard. My scans are picking up a squad of C-Sec officers headed your way; I recommend departing from your current position." The AI's voice almost sounded concerned. Thane and Selene shared a quick look, before nodding to one another.</p><p>Shepard turned her attention to Kolyat, who looked lost. "Come on, you two can continue this conversation on my ship. Also, we can get that little cut fixed. Don't forget your gun." She turned from the two men, not bothering to wait for a reply. She moved quickly towards a row of sky cars parked at the edge of the plaza, selecting one from the line up as their escape ride.</p><p>Thane gave his son a hopeful look, nodding in the direction Shepard had gone. Kolyat's eyes shifted between the two, weighing his options at the moment.</p><p>He did not have to go. He could leave right now and turn his back on this unexpected night.</p><p>Kolyat knew as quickly as he had thought it that leaving was not really an option; he could not leave without hearing more information regarding his mother's death. The opportunity to gain some answers from his father was too tempting, no matter how much Kolyat wanted to lash out in anger and resentment.</p><p>Kolyat fell in step behind his father as they caught up to Shepard. Currently, the woman was hacking the sky car's controls, forcing the doors to unlock.</p><p>"Shepard, how are you going to explain those bodies?" Thane's voice held a hint of disproval as the car's doors swished open; Shepard turned towards him as they did so.</p><p>"I had EDI shut down the cameras; Kolyat was never recorded and neither was I. The crowed did not see me, and Kolyat never fired a shot. I doubt anyone even saw he had a gun." As Thane nodded, she could tell he was not fully satisfied with her answer.</p><p>As he went to climb into the car, Shepard grabbed Thane by the neck of his coat, "You seem like you don't like what I did back there?" The question was more of a statement as she met his gaze evenly.</p><p>"It was an interesting solution, killing them." Thane's voice and face held no emotion, but Selene had spent enough time with him to know that he was put off by what she did.</p><p>She pulled a data pad out of her jacket pocket and pressed it into his exposed chest, "Look at this, then tell me what you think." The Commander went to slide into the driver's seat but stopped short as she looked between the two drell. She gave Kolyat a distrusting glance before speaking to Thane, "Sit in the back, I don't want him behind me while I drive."</p><p>"Afraid I might try and kill you, Commander Shepard?" He sneered.</p><p>Looks like Jr. knows who I am, Selene thought amusingly.</p><p>Shepard removed the leg that was half in the car in order to step closer to Kolyat, invading his personal space. She had that smirk on her face that warned of trouble. Thane looked on with trepidation at what she might do.</p><p>"No." She drew out the single syllable before continuing, "I just don't want to upset your father more by putting another bullet in you. This time." Her hand shot out quick, the hard steel of her gun pressed into his lower abdomen, causing Kolyat to stiffen.</p><p>"I might just aim lower." Her eyes looked down as she whispered her last set of words. Kolyat winced slightly at what she implied; he turned himself away from her, as if that would protect him. She gave a low chuckle at his expression, swiftly holstering her pistol as she turned her back on him.</p><p>"Come on. We've wasted too much time." She jerked her head to the car, before climbing into the driver's seat.</p><p>Kolyat let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding; the muscles in his shoulders relaxing a fraction now that the threat of her gun was removed. His eye's fell on his father as the older drell shook his head, nodding to the car before entering through the rear-passenger side. Kolyat took a deep breath before following the two, seating himself next to the Commander, trying to not show how tense her presence made him. Selene shifted the car into gear without a word, speeding through traffic in seconds.</p><p>Thane sat in the back, reading over the data pad that Selene had given him, his face growing tighter as he read. Shepard surveyed the side mirrors, making sure she did not see any blue and white lights flashing behind them. As her gaze shifted to her passenger, she noticed he did not have his seat belt on.</p><p>"Put your seat belt on." Shepard ordered evenly.</p><p>Kolyat looked at her defiantly, "No."</p><p>Selene's jaw clenched in irritation. She narrowed her eyes at him and sharpened her voice with the order, "Now."</p><p>Kolyat bravely leaned over towards her, "No."</p><p>This woman had already shot him and took clear enjoyment in intimidating him. She made him uneasy, but he was not going to keep being ordered around like a child. It appeared she cared too much about what his father thought about her actions to kill him or cause him serious injury, so he took a chance at disobeying her. What more could the woman do that she had not already done?</p><p>She returned her eyes in front of her and maintained a neutral expression, "Fine, have it your way. Thane, is your belt on?"</p><p>Thane did not wish to answer right away, for he knew what was coming. She had already shot his son, and he did not want to be responsible for causing him more pain.</p><p>Reluctantly, he answered, "Yes, Shepard." Thane's hands tightened over the seat and arm rest.</p><p>Selene's lips quirked into a small smile, before maneuvering the car into a move that would have made Joker proud. She released the stabilizers that kept the car balanced, allowing her to turn into a barrel role as she made her next turn towards the docking bay. Kolyat had no hope to save himself from the pain and embarrassment of summersaulting out of his seat, hitting his head against the window and the dashboard as he traveled through the air.</p><p>As the vehicle started to right itself, Shepard switched the stabilizer back on, zooming forward at great speeds once again. Kolyat clumsily lifted himself back into his seat, only partially getting situated, before being thrown back into the dashboard as Selene made a sudden stop in front of Docking Bay B. The drell groaned in pain as he crumbled to the floor of the passenger seat.</p><p>"We're here!" Shepard declared in a deceptively sweet voice. She exited without another word, leaving Kolyat and his father behind in the car.</p><p>The sound of Thane deactivating his seat belt added salt to Kolyat's wounded pride. As the blue drell forced himself to climb back into his seat and out of the car, he was met with his father's concerned gaze. Thane held out his hands as if to help Kolyat, but thought better of it; the younger man did not appear receptive to receiving his father's help. Instead, the assassin gave his son an apologetic look and let him stretch out the aches and pains he had received.</p><p>Kolyat seethed inside as he tested out his limbs, making sure everything was working properly. If he had not been mad before regarding the gun shot, he was most certainly angry now.</p><p>"Kolyat, I am sorry for today's events," Thane began hesitantly. "I know this has been a lot to process in less than an hour."</p><p>Kolyat snorted bitterly and glared at the Commander's retreating figure, "You think? Who the hell does she think she is?"</p><p>Thane's brow ridges raised, "That is the woman who has most likely saved you from making one of the biggest mistakes of your life."</p><p>Kolyat's expression softened, and he had the good grace to look mildly ashamed. He knew his plan to assassinate Tallied had not been properly thought out. However, at the time he just wanted to prove he was every bit as capable as Thane was. The fact that Shepard had probably saved his life, or his freedom at the very least, had not dawned on him until now.</p><p>Well, shit, he thought to himself.</p><p>As his father escorted him to the Commander's ship, he begrudgingly reflected on the last hour. He most certainly would have failed his assassination. He would not have been able to kill Tallied and either, he would have gone to prison or he would have been killed. Most likely the latter of the two.</p><p>Shepard also had the piece-of-mind to make sure the incident had not been recorded, further absolving him of any substantial guilt that he had attempted his plan.</p><p>What about her trying to shoot him? It only took his eidetic memory a second to recall that he had provoked that attack. In his anger, he had reached for his gun, not fully knowing what he planned to do with it.</p><p>He realized that the Commander might have also stopped him from murdering his own father. As angry as Kolyat was, he was not entirely sure he wished Thane harm. Permanently losing one parent had been hard enough, to lose the other after they suddenly walk back into his life could have caused more trauma.</p><p>Kolyat let out a frustrated sigh as he came to the conclusion that the woman had really helped him more than she had caused harm in the last hour.</p><p>But he still did not think he had deserved to be thrown around the car.</p><p>As Kolyat's anger started to cool, his father stopped in front of a familiar ship.</p><p>He did not believe that there were many in the galaxy that did not know what the Normandy SR1 looked like after the Battle of the Citadel two years ago. Models of the ship had been widely distributed, becoming even more popular when the news of the ship's destruction had come to light.</p><p>Clearly, a Normandy SR2 had been constructed with the image of the first in mind. Supposedly, Commander Shepard had also been lost in the sudden attack on the ship; evidently those rumors had been misleading. As Kolayt and Thane made their way up the gangplank, the younger drell had to admit to himself that the ship was beautifully impressive. Despite the situation, he was curious to view the inside; a bit of excitement creeping up as the doors swished open.</p><p>The two men came out of the decontamination chamber and stepped onto the ship's CIC.</p><p>Kolyat stood behind his father as he took in the long hallway of chairs and the crew operating the ship. To his right, the hallway opened up into a large operations space, dominated mostly by a large galaxy map. Various human crew worked along the map's table, where monitors relating to different parts of the ship flashed at them.</p><p>To Kolyat's left was the main cockpit, this area intrigued him far more than anything else he thought he might find on the ship.</p><p>Kolyat caught the eye of a shorter human man in a hat, leaning against the main pilot's seat. Currently, this human was speaking to Shepard, but as Thane stepped further into the ship, the two turned to greet them.</p><p>The unknown human smiled as he addressed his father, "So Krios, this is the baby boy then?"</p><p>Kolyat did not know whether he should be insulted by the man's question. He assumed he was joking with him as his father smiled in return.</p><p>Strange, Kolyat thought. He could not recall a time in his perfect memory of his father having friends to joke with.</p><p>The human looked back at Kolyat, puzzlement replacing the smile for a moment, before returning full force as he shifted his gaze to Shepard. "So, I'm assuming it's safe to say that that is your handy work?"</p><p>Selene returned his smile, "Yep."</p><p>Kolyat assumed the hat wearing human was referring to the bruises that were most likely forming on his face. He could taste a bit of blood where his lip had split as well. Kolyat didn't have time for his temper to flare over Shepard's clear enjoyment of the memory as she turned to speak to him.</p><p>"Kolyat, this is the ship's pilot, Joker." She lightly slapped the brim of Joker's hat, causing it to turn down over his eyes. Joker just chuckled as he fixed his hat, giving Kolyat a nod in greeting.</p><p>Joker turned to Selene as he spoke again, "Shepard, EDI was saying that C-Sec discovered the bodies about fifteen minutes ago. No reliable witnesses though. A few traumatized onlookers that couldn't get a clear view from where they were hiding. The best they managed to scrape together was that the shot seemed to come from a distance, and a human in black was seen speaking to two drell after."</p><p>Selene nodded her head, folding her arms casually across her chest, "C-Sec would have come asking questions regardless of how this played out. Bailey knew we had a vested interest in what was happening."</p><p>Thane looked down at her beside him, "You do not seem particularly concerned about that Selene?" Thane was worried the C-Sec Captain would blame Kolyat. He did not want his son to go to prison, and if he did, he was blaming Shepard.</p><p>The Commander gave her friend a smile and nudged him with her shoulder, "Come on Thane, relax. Remember who your speaking to, I'll get this shit done. Promise."</p><p>She winked at him, noticing the corners of his lips pull up slightly.</p><p>Kolyat was looking at the two with suspicion, it was strange to see his father act this way. Hell, it was strange to see his father at all. He wondered what exactly his relationship with the Commander was; they appeared very close. This caused him to scowl bitterly, but before he could continue his thoughts, Shepard spoke.</p><p>Selene placed a hand on Thane's shoulder and nodded down the hallway, "Now, go speak with your son."</p><p>The older man nodded in return and shifted towards Kolyat, instructing him to follow. Surprisingly, the blue drell complied without protest. Selene watched them go, disappearing into the conference room.</p><p>"Please. Listen to your father," she murmured to herself.</p><p>She turned to Joker, who was leaning against the archway. He smiled mischievously, "So, what happened?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Shepard's Confession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Author's note: Mild mentioning of sexual abuse and drug use. Please proceed with caution if the topic is triggering.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="xcontrast">
<p></p><div>
<p></p><div><p>As Thane and his son disappeared, Shepard settled herself against one of the bulkheads in the cockpit. She intended to stay close to the entrance of the ship until C-Sec's inevitable visit. It was an added bonus that she could keep an eye out for Thane and Kolyat's return.</p><p>The Commander proceeded to answer her pilot's questions about the mission, filling him in on the dirt she had managed to find regarding Tallied's more sinister crimes. The man's corruption went far deeper than just extorting human shop owners.</p><p>Somewhere early in her story, Garrus and Kelly Chambers had decided to join them. As Shepard neared the end, the group laughed good naturedly at Kolyat's expense when they heard about his unfortunate car ride with Selene.</p><p>"I was wondering why he looked so beat up," Kelly commented.</p><p>"Well, that's what happens when Shepard decides to use you as a crash-test-dummy," the pilot teased, inciting another round of laughs.</p><p>"As amusing as it was, I'm pretty sure I might have just made an enemy for life." Shepard commented worriedly.</p><p>Selene's eyes slid to the closed doors that led to the conference room, and she wondered how things were going for the two drell for the hundredth time in the last thirty minutes.</p><p>Garrus placed a gloved hand on her shoulder, cutting off her musing. "Come on, Shepard. I'm sure the kid has bigger things to think about than one bad car ride with you. You did save him from prison after all."</p><p>Garrus had apparently reached the same conclusion as Shepard regarding Kolyat's first contract as a rookie assassin. Shepard had been mulling over her suspicions ever since interrogating Elias Kelham, the man who had hired Kolyat to assassinate Tallied.</p><p>She had reached only one conclusion: Kelham had not intended for Kolyat to succeed with his objective.</p><p>After digging further into Tallied's history, Shepard had come across a connection between Kelham and Tallied regarding the processing and redistribution of hallex. Supposedly, the two had created a lucrative business for themselves selling the drug in Citadel space.</p><p>However, when Tallied began to distribute their supply into the Terminus systems, Kelham decided to cut ties with his business partner. The reason for their falling out seemed directed towards Tallied's goal of supplying specific slave traders targeting humans for sex trafficking in and out of the system. The slaver's victims were forcibly fed hallex to the point of addiction to make them more compliant.</p><p>The revelation that Tallied was significantly more sinister than a corrupt politician had led to her decision to kill him herself. She fully intended to pass the information she had found forward to Bailey. Hopefully, the man could put an end to some of the dead turian's activities.</p><p>Selene's theory that Kelham had not intended for Kolyat to succeed, or possibly escape detection, came from a message she had stolen as she and Thane left their interrogation of him. Kelham's lawyer had been fiercely typing away at his omini tool as he demanded to see his client. One subtle scan from Shepard's own omini tool revealed that the lawyer was not sending a message but deleting several. The one she had managed to grab before its deletion was a correspondence between Kelham and the lawyer.</p><p>The message spoke about Kolyat's acceptance of the contract through a young man named Mouse; Thane's old associate on the Citadel who they had already questioned in order to gain Kelham's name. Kelham's advocate had warned against using the drell, informing his client that he was the wrong Krios. Kelham had not been concerned, stating that Kolyat only needed to cause a scene.</p><p>If he did manage to kill Tallied, well, then that was just a bonus.</p><p>Kelham had intended to use Kolyat as a propaganda scheme to highlight Tallied's clear incompetence and lack of support in his political campaign against humans. Kelham had just needed a nonhuman to perform the deed.</p><p>All the evidence pointed in Kelham's belief from the start that the job would go horribly wrong. It did not concern him which side Kolyat would have ended up on as the younger man had no information beyond accepting the contract.</p><p>Selene was grateful that she and Thane had managed to get there before Kolyat did something he would seriously regret. She just hoped that Kolyat could accept that his father was genuinely concerned for him after all these years. Whether he would ever believe that Thane was truly regretful of his past actions was unknown. However, Selene respected her friend for the atonement of his sins.</p><p>In an attempt to bring the conversation back to a lighter topic, Kelly turned a teasing smile towards their Commander. "So, Commander Shepard, Kolyat is certainly easy on the eyes. Not unlike his father. Wouldn't you agree?"</p><p>Shepard snorted in amusement and rolled her eyes at her yeomen. Kelly, and several of the other bolder crew members, had grown creative with their speculation about the nature of her and Thane's relationship. Each rumor she heard was more ridiculous than the last.</p><p>They also were not limited to the drell himself. She was pretty sure there were bets circulating around the ship regarding her and Garrus as well.</p><p>Selene's stony silence on the matter had done nothing to quell their curiosity either.</p><p>After nearly ten years in a military career, she knew that her answer would have no bearing on the gossip mill. The crew needed something to talk about, and commanding officers were always particularly interesting targets among lower ranked staff.</p><p>Usually, crewmembers had the good sense to at least try and hide it from their superiors. However, because this was no longer a military ship, Selene believed that people did not feel the pressure to try as hard with her. Luckily for them, the speculations amused her more than anything.</p><p>On several occasions, she had a private laugh with Thane and Garrus over the crew's lack of subtlety. While she was certainly close to Thane and Garrus on a deeper level, their individual relationships were strictly platonic.</p><p>Garrus had been by Shepard's side since the beginning of their fight with the reapers, even before they knew it was the reapers who were the enemy. He was like the brother she had never had, becoming one of the closest friends she had ever made. Someone she could always count on.</p><p>Somewhere along their time together, Thane had been trusting enough to let her past the walls he had built around himself over his twelve years of self-isolation.</p><p>In that time, he had revealed some of his past to her. They had spoken about how the Illuminated Primacy had taken him from his family by the age of six so he could become an assassin. Shepard had struggled to accept that removing a child at such a young age from his family was considered an honor in drell society. However, Thane had become defensive when she attempted to suggest otherwise. Selene had respectfully chosen to let the matter drop, recognizing that the bond between hanar and drelll service was deeply personal. Therefore, she would not condemn the act, for Thane's sake.</p><p>They had talked about his two siblings still living on Kahje. His brother, a pilot for the Illuminated Primacy Defense Force, and his sister who was a mother and a school teacher.</p><p>And then there was Kolyat. Thane had confessed that his son had been partially raised by Thane's family, with the remainder of Irikah's family supporting them through his upbringing. Drell were a community-based people, relying heavily on extended family to play a role in children's lives.</p><p>His wife, Irikah's, death had destroyed the small grasp he had maintained on domestic life, leading him to exact vengeance for her murder before he had returned home. He had returned to find the boy he remembered several years older, he had felt like the best decision he could make for his son was to leave him in the care of his aunts and uncles.</p><p>Shepard had a hard time believing he was the terrible father he loathed himself to be. Especially since her own father had been an abusive bastard who had destroyed her own life.</p><p>Over time aboard her ship, Thane had integrated himself well among the crew, becoming a vital part of their odd little group.</p><p>During her time as his Commander, she had come to rely on Thane significantly. She sought his council on matters regarding various missions, the training of the crew, and eventually she began to share glimpses into her own troubled past.</p><p>Thane had become a reliable confidant, a friend, and a mentor figure to Selene.</p><p>That never stopped Kelly from speculating though. The closest Kelly had ever come to any insight into Shepard's love life is when she had made a comment about whether Thane's cold confidence made him scary or sexy.</p><p>Selene had just given the yeomen a small smile, making a casual remark that most people tended to be drawn to bad boys.</p><p>Kelly was sure she had trapped Commander Shepard, asking if she was one of those people. Selene had just shrugged noncommittally, saying that she lived a dangerous life. Therefore, dangerous people fit right in.</p><p>Obviously, Kelly had not given up her crusade.</p><p>"I noticed that Kolyat looks different from Thane. It's the darker scales. I wonder if he got them from his mother, or if no two drell look the same." Selene commented, a neutral expression on her face.</p><p>Kelly looked mildly annoyed, but her prodding was interrupted by Garrus, subtly interfering on Selene's behalf.</p><p>"I remember seeing a few drell in my time with C-Sec. Children do appear to get their coloring from their parents. It was strange to see them side by side. The boy though, he looks like a more emotional version of his father. It's hard to believe that he's Thane's son," Garrus commented in his gruff voice, looking contemplative.</p><p>"That's what I thought," Selene agreed with a nod. "I was starting to think being stoic was a drell thing. Turns out it's a Thane thing."</p><p>"What is a Thane thing?" Thane himself asked from directly behind her, the vibrations of his deep voice making her start.</p><p>"Dammit Thane! Why?" Selene asked, annoyed by the stealth act. She had been eyeing the conference room doors for forty-five minutes, yet she had managed to miss him in the thirty seconds her attention had been diverted.</p><p>Thane's lips quirked into a smug smirk as he moved to stand beside her. Shepard immediately took notice of a fresh cut on his right cheek bone, the tell-tale signs of a developing bruise darkening his scales. Kolyat had not held back, it appeared.</p><p>Shepard chuckled as she ran a finger along the outline of the wound. "Looks like your precious little gift from above throws a mean hook."</p><p>"A moment of anger was let out," Thane huffed a laugh at Selene's teasing before his expression sobered. "I cannot say it was not deserved for all that I have put him through."</p><p>The small smile returned to his face, whether it was meant to be reassuring, she did not know.</p><p>"The outburst was not as bad as it could have been. Kolyat even apologized when I left him in the medical bay."</p><p>"I am assuming you didn't add on to the damage I already inflicted on him?" she raised a questioning brow, crossing her arms over her chest.</p><p>Thane clasped his hands behind his back as he shook his head at the Commander, "No. He still needed to receive treatment for the bullet wound he received."</p><p>Judging by his even stare and silence, she decided that Thane was letting her earlier offenses towards his son slide.</p><p>"How did it go?" she asked softly.</p><p>Thane glanced around at his team members, all looking at him with a mixture of hopefulness and worry. There was also a look of concern on their faces that took Thane by surprise. In some ways, the comradery they had formed with each other had become the closest thing to a family he had had in many years.</p><p>"Better than expected, but our problems . . ." Thane paused, wanting to put their minds at ease but faltering. "They will take more than just one conversation to fix them. We will continue speaking and trying to work on our relationship."</p><p>Thane's eyes shifted uneasily as he recalled the question that Kolyat had asked him at the end of their conversation.</p><p>The answer to which he had no right in giving without consulting Shepard.</p><p>In an unspoken display of Selene's understanding of his inner turmoil, the woman turned and met Thane's uneasy gaze, silently encouraging him to speak, "Shepard, there is another matter we must discuss. Kolyat has made a request of you."</p><p>Selene's brows shot up in surprise, wondering what Kolyat could possibly want from her.</p><p>Shepard took a step closer to Thane, setting a hand on his shoulder. She struggled to hide her concern and sound reassuring, "Thane, what is it?"</p><p>"Kolyat has asked . . ."</p><p>Thane was cut off by EDI's voice coming from the holo next to Joker: "I am sorry for the interruption. Shepard, Captain Bailey and two other C-Sec officers are here to see you. They are requesting entrance to the ship."</p><p>Selene stared at Thane for a half a second longer, her look promised that they would continue their discussion after they dealt with Bailey. Selene then turned to EDI, ordering her to tell the C-Sec captain that she would meet him outside in a moment. As she moved towards the exit, she could feel Thane and Garrus fall into step behind her.</p><p>"Hello again, Commander," Bailey greeted her, sounding exhausted.</p><p>It was likely that the man had spent a significant amount of time searching through multiple shoddy testimonies regarding Tallied's murder. It had taken C-Sec over an hour to decide to come searching for answers with Shepard. Longer than Selene though it would take them. Maybe she should have sent them her information earlier and saved the Captain a headache.</p><p>Bailey's rough voice brought Shepard out of her thoughts as he continued, "I am sure the reason for my visit is not lost on you?"</p><p>"Yes, Captain," Selene smiled pleasantly at Bailey. "I do know why you're here."</p><p>"Then you know I need to speak with the boy."</p><p>Bailey appeared regretful, apprehensive about what he came here to do.</p><p>Thane's eyes burned a hole in the back of her head, his worry palpable to her. It was obvious that he was scared for his son, and she knew with grim understanding that he <em>would</em> do what he had to keep the officers from taking Kolyat.</p><p>However, without looking at him, she knew he resembled the perfect embodiment of calm and stoicism.</p><p>"Let me ask you something, Bailey," Shepard began calmly. "Do you have any evidence of Kolyat shooting Tallied? Any video footage? Witnesses? Could anyone even find a gun?"</p><p>Bailey rubbed his eyes tiredly, Shepard imagined it was not the first time that day.</p><p>"No, I do not. All we know is that he was the only one who was hired to kill the man."</p><p>It was inevitable really, but she was still irritated at having her own evidence used against her. Bailey had allowed Thane and herself to conduct the interrogation in his holding cells, the man would have been truly foolish to not file the information away.</p><p>Selene decided to draw this out a bit longer. Call it petty payback for the Captain's use of Kelham's confession.</p><p>"So," she drew out the single syllable, smiling as if she were the only one in the space who knew something incredibly useful and important. "Your only lead is the testimony that <em>I</em> discovered for you?"</p><p>Bailey had the good grace to look uncomfortable.</p><p>"You know I can't just let that go, Shepard. The boy intended to commit murder and now my officers are left with two dead bodies and no other leads. What would you do in my position?"</p><p>She understood that the man could not overlook the only lead he had in a murder case. He was doing his job, after all. She could not fault the man for that.</p><p>Switching tactics, she decided to give a hint of what he really wanted to know.</p><p>"What if I could give you the name of the person who killed Tallied?" Selene offered.</p><p>The captain narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "Would it be the right name?"</p><p>"Yes, Captain, it will be," she smiled pleasantly.</p><p>"Alright," Bailey released a breath. He did not look entirely comfortable with trusting her. "But I make no promises of not having to question the boy."</p><p>Selene uncrossed her arms, nodding to the man.</p><p>"Who is the killer?"</p><p>Selene's unpredictability had Thane on the verge of a panic attack. He knew she would do what she could to keep Kolyat from being taken. She would not let Kolyat take the blame, but he could not be sure of the game she was playing on her own. He felt useless to her whims, but he knew that his son would come first and foremost. That did not mean he wasn't incredibly nervous about the outcome of this encounter.</p><p>Could she afford to take the blame of the murder of a public figure on the Citadel? The Council had specifically restricted her to the Terminus systems.</p><p>"Me." Simple, clear, and calm, the single syllable rang out above all other noises on the dock.</p><p>Apparently, she could.</p></div></div></div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Kolyat's Request</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The group assembled outside the Normandy was suspended in disbelief, everyone frozen in the wake of Selene’s confession. Bailey and his officers stared blankly at the Commander while she remained the perfect picture of calm and patient, smiling coolly at them. An odd tension formed between the two teams as they waited for the C-Sec Captain’s response.</p>
<p>Bailey’s eyes shifted between Thane and Garrus flanking Selene, appearing equally as calm as their Commander. A fierce debate raged within the man, wondering if he should take her in with him or whether he should respect her position as a Specter.</p>
<p>Her authority on the Citadel was above the law, after all. If she had chosen to kill Tallied, it was a reasonable assumption that she had her reasons; the righteousness of her actions was inconsequential in the face of her Specter status.</p>
<p>Bailey was a bit disappointed in himself for possibly misjudging Selene as a fair vigilante.</p>
<p>Her intentions appeared to be noble when she had initially inquired about any leads on the whereabouts of her associate’s son. When she had managed to get Kelham to talk about his involvement with the assassination plans for Tallied, Bailey had been truly impressed with her skill.</p>
<p>He had assumed that Selene and her crew would stop the boy from going through with the act. However, he had not expected Shepard to complete it for him. She had essentially murdered an innocent man in cold blood, and he genuinely wondered what the purpose had been. What was he missing?</p>
<p>Deep down, Bailey knew the Commander was not going to submit for questioning. He also knew she had never intended for Bailey to question Kolyat.</p>
<p>Now, Bailey was faced with a decision: insist to speak with the boy regardless of risking the Specter’s wrath, or he could walk away and file his report under Specter business.  </p>
<p>Balancing on a precipice, Bailey decided to press a little further. At least he could say he tried.  </p>
<p>"Alright, Shepard. Let’s say I believe you,” he heaved a sigh. “Why did you kill him?"</p>
<p>“Thane, do you still have that data pad?" Selene questioned, turning to her friend.</p>
<p>Thane pulled the data pad from within his jacket, a look of disgust apparent on his face long enough for only Selene to notice. Her face grew serious as she took the pad from him and offered it to Bailey. The small metal device held all of Tallied’s crimes and known associates.</p>
<p>Bailey moved forward to take the pad from her outstretched hand. Silently, he skimmed through the readings. His brow furrowed as the moments passed by, his mouth pinched in a disapproving frown. As Bailey finished reviewing the collected evidence, nobody moved.</p>
<p>There was an unspoken understanding between the two leaders.</p>
<p>Shepard had not gone entirely rouge afterall. He could respect the woman for fulfilling her duties with the conviction of a Specter.  </p>
<p>Shepard shook her head as Bailey tried to return the data pad, she pushed the device back gently into his hands.</p>
<p>“Keep it. Tallied’s operation is still running somewhere in council space. You should have more than enough information there to stop it.”</p>
<p>Bailey nodded in the affirmative, passing the pad off to one of his officers behind him.</p>
<p>“I apologize for this inconvenience, Commander Shepard,” Bailey offered, reaching out to shake Selene’s hand firmly. “Thank you for your service in dealing out justice.”</p>
<p>Shepard nodded her head but remained silent.</p>
<p>“Would you like to give a statement on the matter?” Bailey asked. “Considering the substantial amount of evidence you’ve provided to us, it probably won’t be necessary. ”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Captain Bailey. I trust you to inform the council about Tallied’s . . .  activities, and how they’ve extended well into <em>their</em> jurisdiction,” she paused, but there was a mischievous glint in her silver-green eyes. “You can also tell them that it was through <em>my own</em> investigation that led me to the Citadel and I am sure they are more than equipped to handle any questions directed towards them.”</p>
<p>Bailey nodded in understanding, observing that the Commander was still covering for the drell’s son as she took credit for her examination into Tallied’s activities. He also noted with amusement, her refusal to lend the council a hand in the media storm coming their way.</p>
<p>“Understood. Carry on, Commander. I extend my gratitude for your compliance in the matter,” Bailey bid the commander and her team farewell before turning sharply and returning to C-Sec.</p>
<p>Selene turned her back on the ship and returned to the CIC with Thane and Garrus. Her crew waited in the cockpit, side-eyeing Selene as she maintained her earlier position leaning against the bulkhead. She turned to Thane beside her, a thin smile quirking her lips.</p>
<p>“Well?” she asked.</p>
<p>Thane was clearly pleased with the outcome of their meeting with Bailey, as pleased as he could beneath his stoic mask. A small smile graced his face finally, and gratitude shone in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Shepard,” Thane breathed with visible relief. “You have preformed a great service for Kolyat and me. We are forever in your debt.” The drell bowed deeply at the waist, conveying his respect to her.</p>
<p>“Thane, you don’t owe me anything,” Selene said simply. “This is how friends help each other. Friends are always there for each other.”</p>
<p>She placed a reassuring hand on the older man’s arm and squeezed affectionately.</p>
<p>“Besides,” Selene continued. “You agreed to take on a suicide mission before you even knew me. I think it’s safe to say that any debt between us is considered even.”</p>
<p>Thane chose not to point out the inevitability of his accelerated death due to the advanced stage of his Kepral Syndrome. Truthfully, his agreeing to the suicide mission had not been a difficult choice, but it always made Selene sad when his illness was mentioned.</p>
<p>He tried to internalize her kind words, knowing that deep within he could never fully repay her for the selflessness she had shown by helping him and Kolyat.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t be making any declarations of life debts too soon, Krios,” Joker called over to him, disrupting the show of friendship and respect between the two. “I’m not sure your son is going to agree with you after what Shepard put him through.”</p>
<p>Shepard laughed and nodded in agreement. Kolyat had been pretty angry with her before, and she could not imagine he would be able to diffuse that quickly in the wake of being unwillingly reunited with his estranged father.</p>
<p>Thane chuckled, his deep baritone reverberating deep within his chest.</p>
<p> “I disagree, Mr. Moreau,” Thane shook his head at Joker. “I have confidence that Kolyat will come to the same conclusion as I have. He is more hurt by my actions than anything Shepard has done.”</p>
<p>His smile sobered, and Shepard gave him a sharp look. She was almost certain that she would be infuriated if someone had tried to toy with her the way she had with Kolyat. To be fair, she had quite the temper sometimes, she had no right to judge Kolyat.</p>
<p>Before the commander could continue her conversation with Thane, the blue drell emerged from the elevator down the hall.</p>
<p>As Kolyat stepped through the open doors, Selene immediately took stock of the man. His arm was freshly bandaged, and his face looked severely less bruised. A medi-gel treatment had almost restored him to complete health.  </p>
<p>As the he made his way through the CIC towards their group, Shepard noted his confident stride. He moved like his father, but he lacked the grace and stealth of an assassin. With his leather jacket removed, Shepard noticed the same markings on his face, also wound their way down his defined arms.</p>
<p>His shoulders were broad and strong, but without the muscle mass that came from brutal combat training. If he applied himself, Selene was sure he could be as strikingly intimidating as Thane. He towered above most of them, and he had a quiet demeanor that gave him a mysterious aura.</p>
<p>The hints of inexperience and youth of the young drell was obvious. He had yet to acquire the discipline and emotional maturity that made other members of her team truly dangerous. But he had shown initiative by taking the contract on Tallied, and refusing to run from Shepard showed courage. Maybe if Selene had not disrupted his mission, he might have had a chance at growing that potential.</p>
<p>If he had managed to survive the experience.</p>
<p>As Kolyat drew closer, Shepard was internally relieved that he appeared more relaxed, his face less openly hostile. A curiosity burned in his large eyes as he took in the interior of the cockpit.</p>
<p>Kelly was right, Kolyat was a handsome man. Especially when he was not glaring or sulking every five seconds.</p>
<p>Kolyat paused before the group, nervousness making his movements stiff now that he was in front of them.</p>
<p>The blue drell awkwardly cleared his throat before speaking, turning his attention to Shepard, “Commander, I just wanted to thank you for what you have done for me today.”</p>
<p>Shepard was not often caught off guard, but Kolyat apologizing to her was certainly unexpected. Her brows subtly lifted toward her hairline, before she schooled her expression back into neutrality.</p>
<p>It seemed that she and Joker might have judged him too harshly. Another wave of relief washed through her, the last thing she had wanted was to cause a rift between Thane and his son because Kolyat hated her.</p>
<p>“Like I told your father, Kolyat,” Shepard offered a warm smile. An olive branch had been extended, who was she to turn it away? “I was happy to do it. I was coming to the aid of a friend.”</p>
<p>Again, Kolyat questioned the exact nature of his father’s relationship with Shepard. It was difficult to determine whether they were just friends as the Commander had said. She did appear a little too young for his father, but he was no expert when it came to judging humans’ ages. If he had to guess, she was closer to his own age than Thane’s. </p>
<p>Still his suspicions nagged at him, causing his irritation to flare.</p>
<p>However, he had spoken the truth to the Commander. He was thankful for her interference, regardless of the pain he might have suffered during it. Kolyat wondered if his father had asked the Commander about his request.</p>
<p>The blue drell turned towards the older man, lifting a brow ridge in curiosity, “Have you asked her already?”</p>
<p>Thane's jaw noticeably tightened, his unreadable mask sliding into place. In the wake of Bailey’s sudden arrival, and his relief at knowing Kolyat would not be going to prison, Thane had pushed his son’s question to the back of his mind.</p>
<p>Selene’s face showed mild curiosity as she turned her attention to Kolyat. She implored the young man to ask his question himself, rather than through his father.</p>
<p>“Ask me what?” she questioned, refusing to let the subject matter drop again.</p>
<p>Kolyat grew more nervous, his eyes fixed to the ground as he struggled to find the words. If she wants me to be direct, I can be direct, he thought to himself.</p>
<p>Lifting his gaze, his eyes bored into hers unflinchingly.</p>
<p> “I want to join your crew."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Author’s Note: First three chapters are up and I am curious about everyone’s thoughts. </p>
<p>Hopefully, my sister and I can post a chapter or two a week. Since we have the completed story already, most of what we are doing is heavy editing and revisions. However, that still takes time and we do have personal lives. We promise we will NOT be abandoning this story; I believe that we are both dedicated to seeing this project through.  </p>
<p>Hope you all enjoy, see you next week &lt;3</p>
<p>SeverMariaBlack + Friends</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Evaluation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Author’s note: Decided to post a little early.</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was the second time in the span of five minutes that the blue drell had managed to surprise the Commander. Her eyes widened in visible shock; her lips parted but no sound came out.</p><p>She turned instinctively to her associate, trying to gauge his response. She certainly had not expected Kolyat’s question, but from the sober look on Thane’s face, it was apparent he knew, and he did not care for the idea. However, she had the distinct impression he was leaving this up to her, probably feeling that he had no right to insert his objections into Kolyat’s decision.</p><p>After being completely absent from the boy’s life for over a decade, Thane understood that there were significant boundaries he had no right to cross with his adult son. Whatever parental influence he had ever had was dead and gone.</p><p>"Thane?" Selene said after several beats had passed, many questions in her eyes.</p><p>Thane’s resolved silence was answer enough.</p><p>Selene gave up trying to receive answers from the green drell, and turned towards the blue one that was staring determinedly at her.</p><p>“Why do you want to join?” she asked Kolyat with a deep sigh.</p><p>She searched his black eyes, looking for something she was not sure was there. He met her eyes unflinching, emotions unreadable. She could see the fierce determination he felt to prove himself, to be <em>capable </em>of joining the Normandy. All traces of the nervous boy from before were carefully swept away. Maybe the quick mastery to disguise his emotions was another quality he shared with his father.</p><p>However, Shepard would need more proof to accept him on the team. His combat skills had yet to be seen, and she would bet the entire ship that Kolyat had an obedience problem. </p><p>He paused in the wake of her question, carefully formulating a response.</p><p>“I took the assassination contract on Tallied for many wrong reasons,” he began quietly, sounding out the words carefully as if he did not know the answer himself. “I believed I could prove myself, somehow . . .” he faltered, collecting his thoughts before he continued. “to myself, I suppose.”</p><p>Kolyat’s determined expression faltered slightly. The Commander continued to stare evenly at him, waiting for him to continue. She suspected he had not fully fleshed out the answer to this question, or the drive behind this burning determination. Without focus, that determination could dissolve and extinguish.</p><p>Kolyat continued to search inwardly for a tangible answer that would satisfy the Commander. Kolyat’s gaze shifted to the people around them, each person seeming to hold their breath in anticipation.</p><p>I have nothing, he thought miserably. Just be honest.</p><p>“I am not sure why I want to join your crew, Commander. All I know is that when I took that contract, I wanted to prove myself also,” he paused and averted his gaze. “To my father’s memory.”</p><p>A deep-rooted sense of shame welled up within Thane after Kolyat’s confession. The guilt he felt over abandoning his son, allowing Kolyat to be swept away in a sea of anger and confusion, festered in the older drell’s soul. There was a tangible grief within that hit him like a blow to the chest: he had left his son when he needed him, when he needed <em>anyone</em>, the most.  </p><p>The hope he felt to mend the bond between them sharpened into a fierce determination; he would be present now. If his son wanted to embark on the deadly missions that required the Normandy crew to risk their lives constantly, he would be there for Kolyat. To watch his back, to protect him, to be a presence in his life the way he never could before.</p><p>If Kolyat would allow this much, he could die peacefully.</p><p>“I was foolish, and selfish,” Kolyat continued, his resolve strengthening. Thane felt pride watching this brave man stand toe-to-toe with Selene. “If I am meant to dedicate myself to something, I want it to be something worth dying for. I want to help the galaxy; I do not wish to cause more pain in it.”</p><p>Kolyat stood there, the two staring at each other in tense silence. She valued honestly above anything else; it was not every day that she found a person truthful enough to admit what they did not know. There was a part of Kolyat’s struggle that spoke to something deep within her, a burning need to find a higher purpose, to discover where he belonged.</p><p>Selene knew that good soldiers lost themselves to their duty by dedicating their entire existence to the mission. Part of her knew that firsthand. However, she empathized with the part of Kolyat that felt lost, directionless and alone. With guidance, surrounded by people who could point him towards a worthy cause, she had a feeling he could become something special.  </p><p>“Alright. We can try this out.” </p><p>Kolyat paused, thrown off by her directness. He considered his rudimentary fighting experience, most of which were lessons taught in his youth. His mother had insisted on enrolling him into classes, claiming that it was important for him to know how to defend himself.</p><p>In retrospect, he wondered if her insistence came from knowing how his father’s profession might disrupt their lives. He had acquired basic knowledge about shooting and military hand-to-hand combat from his uncle. He had managed to survive a few schoolyard brawls with his rudimentary skills, but that did not equate to being proficient enough to handle a real combat situation.</p><p>Instead of revealing this to Shepard and the surrounding group, Kolyat answered evasively, “I can hold my own in a fight.”</p><p>Selene’s eyes narrowed, spotting the deception as he averted his gaze. Noticing this, he squared his shoulders and raised his chin immediately. Attempting to appear confident in his deception. It did not work.</p><p>Kolyat was going to learn fast, and most likely the hard way, that when Selene ask for an answer, she expected transparency one hundred percent of the time; not only <em>part</em> of the time.</p><p>If Kolyat felt the need to pad his responses, even just slightly, he was of no use to her. Not when people’s lives were on the line.</p><p>Her face brightened suddenly, shifting into a way too sweet smile. His shriveled pride noted with dread that she had sounded like this when they arrived at the docking bay.</p><p> “Great! Glad to hear it. Then, you can meet me in the cargo bay in twenty minutes so I can . . . <em>evaluate </em>your skills.”</p><p>"But,” his face fell, panic settling in. “There is no way I can beat you."</p><p>“I didn't say you had to beat me,” she smiled, striding past him. “Actually, I fully intend for you <em>not</em> to beat me. This is just an evaluation of your skills. You said you could hold your own. Well, you should be able to survive a short eval. Right?”</p><p>Thane and Kolyat watched with worried eyes as Shepard continued down the hall, looking completely unfazed. She called over her shoulder to Thane before reaching the galaxy map, “You should get your kid some sparing gear. I fully expect him to put in a good showing.”</p><p>She disappeared through the elevator doors, presumably to get ready herself.</p><p>“Come on,” his father said in a grave tone. Thane looked him over as if he were already thinking about how much pain his son was about to experience in a moment. “I believe you will fit into my sparring clothes.”</p><p>Kolyat cast a worried glance around the room, seeking solace in one of the unfamiliar faces around him. The pilot, Joker, simply looked amused. The other female human looked on at him with large, concerned eyes. She gave him a sympathetic smile when their eyes met.</p><p>Thane placed a consoling hand on his son’s shoulder and turned to the unnamed turian. “Garrus,” Thane called to him. “Will you help me prepare Kolyat for Shepard’s test?”</p><p>Garrus nodded kindly and followed Thane and Kolyat down the hall of the CIC.</p><p>“Come on kid,” Garrus spoke from his chest, his sub harmonics conveying empathy. “We’ll get you ready. All Shepard wants is a good showing. With luck, she will only hurt your pride.”</p><p>Garrus paused, considering his next words carefully, and ramping up Kolyat’s anxiety in the process. Garrus considering telling the kid that the likelihood of Selene stopping at just embarrassing him was as likely as him declaring his undying love for Grunt.</p><p> “Uh, maybe we should get you a mouth guard. Just in case,” Garrus cleared his throat gruffly.</p><p>Kolyat wondered with trepidation what he had gotten himself into, as he climbed into the elevator between the two older men.</p><p>As the trio disappeared from the CIC, Joker and Kelly shared conspiring glances. Both silently debated the wisdom of their shared idea.</p><p>They both came to the same conclusion simultaneously.</p><p>“I’ll message engineering?” Kelly offered.</p><p>“I got the crew deck and the CIC.” Joker agreed.</p><p>The two rushed off to complete their tasks. Five minutes ticked by before the entirety of the ship’s crew made a mad rush for the cargo bay.</p><p>Almost <em>everyone</em> was eager to watch the Commander give her “evaluation” of the new crew member.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>Twenty minutes later, Selene made her way down to the cargo bay.</p><p>She rocked back and froth on the balls of her feet as she waited for the elevator to stop. The doors slid open and she halted before the massive crowd gathered in the hallway.</p><p>It appeared everyone from engineering, and a few members from the CIC, were pressed against the windows that revealed the cargo bay below. The chatter in the hall was loud, and no one seemed to notice their Commander standing amongst them</p><p>Selene attempted to clear her throat to get everyone’s attention. She scowled when her attempt clearly failed.</p><p>She placed two fingers in her mouth, and released a sharp whistle that made everyone in the group jump. A startled silence washed over the crowd, and several members with previous military service fell into parade rest or a salute.</p><p>“What the hell is going on here?” Selene demanded.</p><p>A brave communications specialist from the CIC, Shepard thought her name was Terry, spoke up.</p><p>“Commander Shepard! We received Joker’s message about a new crew member joining the Normandy,” she barked in clipped tones, her salute never wavering. “We were all curious about his evaluation, ma’am.”</p><p>A low growl built in the back of her throat, and she rolled her eyes at the mention of Joker.</p><p>Of <em>course,</em> he had taken it upon himself to inform the entire ship about her little training exercise. She was willing to bet Kelly had taken part in this gathering also.</p><p>Shepard almost took a gleeful satisfaction in the two weeks of custodian duty they would face after this display.</p><p>“Stay alert. Stay sharp,” she ordered, instead of returning the crew to their duties.</p><p>The ship was still in dry dock, after all.</p><p>As the crowd parted for her, some crew members gave a whoop of encouraging cheers as she passed by. A few were brave enough to slap her on the back, but she rolled her eyes and allowed them their fun.</p><p>As Shepard descended the stairs into the cargo bay, she could tell the group gathered down below was just as large as the group in the hall. When she reached the bottom, she made her way into the training circle.</p><p>Selene noticed that the majority of the group gathered in the cargo bay was her ground team. All twelve of the squad members were clustered around the space, with a few support staff scattered among them.</p><p>Selene located Kelly chatting with Tali and Kasumi at a table furthest from her. When Joker registered the Commander’s presence, he nudged Kelly’s arm. As she approached, narrowing her eyes, he tried harder to get Kelly’s attention.</p><p>By the time the red head had caught on to what Joker was trying to do, Shepard had already reached the group. Everyone looked up at her, a mix of anticipation, fear, and admiration reflected in their separate faces.</p><p>“I’ll be dealing with you both later,” Selene peered between the two of them, an ominous promise hidden behind a lazy smile. The group around them erupted into laughter as Kelly and Joker winced.</p><p>She turned and removed the shirt she was wearing, revealing a standard sports bra underneath. As the Commander set her shirt, her necklace and a ring down on the table, the chatter around the makeshift seating area resumed. </p><p>Joker recovered first out of the nervous pair that had arranged for the impromptu audience, and he smirked as Selene began to stretch. “Eh, it will be worth it to watch you kick the kid’s ass,” he shrugged.</p><p>Shepard strode towards the circle, pulling on her sparring gloves as she went. Thane, Kolyat and Garrus were already waiting for her in the middle.</p><p>Kolyat stood there with a set of fresh loose-fitting pants, sparring gloves, head gear, and a mouth guard. The blue drell’s chest and feet were bare.</p><p>She noted that the choice to remove his shirt was likely a calculated decision made by Thane, as it limited the chances of Shepard being able to get ahold of him. It was intelligent, but it would not help Kolyat if he was lacking in speed and endurance.</p><p>The absence of Kolyat’s shirt revealed a twin set of ribbing along the sides of his torso, the same magenta color as his neck. The lines curved inward over the V-shape of his hips and disappeared into his black pants. Shepard had learned long ago from her time training with Thane that the soft skin folds were a particularly vulnerable spot for drell.</p><p>The white bandage on his left bicep also stood out against his dark completion.</p><p>Kolyat’s eyes followed the Commander as she neared them, her eyes sweeping across his body as if she were making a mental checklist. It was unnerving how sharp and calculating her eyes were, as if nothing went unnoticed by her.</p><p>His nerves skyrocketed as she moved closer, the unnatural glow of her orange scars pulsed under the fluorescent lights. His father had explained to him that the glow was caused by the cybernetics that were still repairing damaged skin from the project that had resurrected her.</p><p>Garrus had warned him not to take the scars as a sign of weakness; Shepard was as healthy and dangerous as ever. Kolyat had no trouble believing him.</p><p>Thane’s last-minute instructions fell on deaf ears as Kolyat surveyed the Commander. He noticed that she was only wearing a pair of black fingerless sparing gloves, lose-fitting shorts, and a chest binding. Those same orange scars created a large X across the left side of her ribs, disappearing under the binding around her chest.</p><p>A webbing of orange stretched over the top of her right thigh, dipping underneath her shorts and crawled out of the bottom all the way to the top of her knee cap. Her arms and feet were marked with shallower scars beneath her brown skin.</p><p>She was genuinely more intimidating than a woman her size had the right to be.</p><p>He could not help but take in the waves of black and gray ink that flowed down her right arm. An unfamiliar tattoo design coincided with the orange scars along the left side of her rib cage. Both of her legs were almost completely covered in ink, bits of smooth skin peeking through the artistry.</p><p>He would be lying if he said he was not intrigued. </p><p>Kolyat could not tear his eyes from the Commander.</p><p>Garrus and his father took notice, and turian gave Kolyat a firm slap on the back of the head. Kolyat was startled out of his thoughts as he rubbed at headache forming. His attention returned sheepishly to the two men trying to give him last minute advice.</p><p>"Staring at her isn't going to save you from the beating she is about to give you, kid,” Garrus remarked.</p><p>“She is as fast as she is powerful,” Thane told him seriously, their gazes firmly locked. “She has years of military training and combat experience that most people could only dream of. Shepard is also incredibly intelligent; she knows exactly how to exploit weaknesses.”</p><p>His father’s eyes fixed Kolyat with a serious stare, attempting to convey how skilled the small woman across from them really was. The next few moments were not going to be pleasant for his son. </p><p>“You are going to lose this battle,” Thane continued, not even trying to hide the cold, hard truth. “This is meant as a lesson, and a test of your skills.”</p><p>Here Kolayt had assumed this was a punishment for lying, rather than a lesson.  </p><p>“Are you ready?” Thane asked, a heavy hand on his shoulder. He resisted the urge to shake it off, instead focusing on the turian.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Both men gave Kolyat an encouraging look and ducked out of the training circle. He watched as Garrus and Thane joined the group behind the Commander. A loud cheer erupted from the large crowd gathered, the floor beneath them vibrated as they pounded on tables and cargo crates, the walls and the floor.</p><p>Selene and Kolyat were officially alone in the ring.</p><p>The Commander moved closer to the center, deciding in that moment, under her heavy stare, that Kolyat was certainly not a coward.</p><p>Her calm voiced carried over the heavy din, "Are you ready?”</p><p>Kolyat could not hide his nervousness, but he nodded and shifted into a weak defensive stance regardless.</p><p>"Yes," Kolyat answered, the deep vibration of his voice sounding calmer then she expected.</p><p>"Good."</p><p>Shepard lifted a hand to the group behind her, taking a step back from the center.</p><p>"Jack, count it out!" she called, never breaking eye contact with her opponent.</p><p>"One," the biotic began.</p><p>Both opponents remained frozen in place.</p><p>"Two."</p><p>Kolyat’s heart pounded, his mind racing through his limited inventory of fighting techniques and lessons that he had learned over the years.</p><p>"Three."</p><p>Shepard flexed her fingers, the squeaking of the leather over the growing silence of anticipation ramping up his blood pressure. Taking a deep breath, he stared her down. Selene recognized the determination in his stare.</p><p>"Fight!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Author’s note: I am sure some of you noticed, but I took some creative liberties with the layout of the Normandy. Now there are stairs to the cargo bay accessible from the engineering floor. </p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Test Your Might</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Author’s note: The following chapter describes a graphic fight scene. If this bothers anyone, or can potentially trigger anyone, please read with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kolyat’s meager training was catapulted to the front of his mind as he raised his hands weakly around his face. Shepard stood there, waiting to see if he would make the first move. Genuine fear welled up within him as he hesitated; he had never attacked a woman before. He was well aware that the Commander could easily injure him, kill him even, with little effort. Still, a part of him felt overly concerned that he might cause serious harm to his much smaller opponent.</p><p>It was probably not the most ideal moment to be having a moral debate with himself over his conflicting feelings of striking a woman, but his warring emotions paralyzed him regardless.</p><p>As the seconds ticked by, Kolyat remained frozen. The crowd hushed, as they waited for either one of the combatants to move. Shepard’s eyes narrowed as she picked up on Kolyat’s hesitation. The Commander decided impatiently to get him moving herself.</p><p>Shepard struck out towards the visibly nervous man swiftly, slapping his block to the side with ease. Two punishing strikes to his midsection and chest, followed by a sweep of her leg knocked Kolyat off his feet and caused him to land hard to the floor. The slightly cushioned mats below did not save him from the sudden pain and loss of breath that caused him to gasp for air.</p><p>The blue drell’s eyes watered as his lungs fought for air. He had barely registered her quick movements before it was too late. He dimly registered the sound of several people hissing and booing from the direction of the small crowed, over the ringing in his ears.</p><p>Gods she is fast, Kolyat thought miserably, not knowing how he was going to pass this test. </p><p>Before he could recover, Shepard came at him again, her knee rushing down toward his face. Kolyat’s eyes widened as he clumsily rolled out from under her, his reflexes taking over. He picked himself up on his hands a couple feet away from her. The drell was still trying to catch his breath from Shepard’s initial blow, not to mention his mad scramble to get away from her. His heart thundered as she slowly rose to her feet, removing her knee from the part of the mat where his head had been.</p><p>I am seriously out of my element here, he thought, dread causing his stomach to drop even further.</p><p>Selene turned towards Kolyat, who looked up at her from his prone position on the floor, his chest heaving as he still could not catch his breath. The Commander lifted a dark brow that showed how unimpressed she really was. Barely fifteen seconds had passed by and Kolyat had already revealed how inexperienced he really was. Even her support staff had better training than this. </p><p>Before she could second guess her decision to allow him onto her team, Kolyat finally climbed to his knees awkwardly. His breathing had returned to some semblance of normal, but the shaken look in his eyes made her scowl.</p><p>“Dammit,” he mumbled, rising to his feet and carefully heading towards the center of the mat. His fists were poorly clenched in front of his face, and his form was shoddy at best. He moved with nervousness, rather than with any precision and confidence.</p><p>Kolyat surprised himself when he managed to dodge her next attack, and the few after that through sheer adrenaline and self-preservation. He could tell that her punches and kicks were clearly being slowed for his benefit, but Kolyat persisted. He kept moving, bobbing and weaving while keeping just out of reach of her pulled punches, hoping that he was not sent packing afterward.</p><p>Suddenly, she decided to land a fierce uppercut on the underside of his jaw, rattling his teeth and nearly knocking him off his feet again. Kolyat was sure that the blow had only been a warning shot from Shepard; the woman was becoming frustrated with him. Regardless, he only became more desperate to avoid anymore of her vicious attacks. As minutes passed, she caught on to his plan and knew that he really did not intend on striking her.</p><p>Eventually, she decided, she was going to have to force him to switch to the offensive somehow. Otherwise, she would never get a sense of what he could or could not do.</p><p>With a new goal in mind, she came at him faster and struck him with a swift roundhouse kick.  Selene caught Kolyat by the strap of his head gear as he began to fall, delivering several wicked body shots to his ribs. As he struggled to breath once more, she laced her hands behind his head and brought her knee up into his face. Thankfully, the headgear he wore kept her from breaking his nose, but it did not save him from the sheer force that rocked his vision as he finally slammed into the canvas below with a loud thud. </p><p>Kolyat was sure the only reason he was still conscious was because the Commander allowed him to be. In the background, he could hear people booing at his performance, calling out for him to fight.</p><p>He lay face down on the mat once more, sucking in painful gulps of air and trying to level his heart rate. Embarrassment and shame nearly made him crumble entirely, but he pushed back against the encroaching darkness. He flipped onto his back, catching the look of concern on his father’s face in the crowd before shifting his gaze to Shepard’s predatory approach.</p><p>He willed his body to move, tensing in anticipation for another attack.</p><p>Instead, Shepard crouched down to his level, startling him with her proximity. She was not pummeling him yet, so that was a blessing.</p><p>"You haven’t proved to me you can fight yet,” she said sharply, her eyes hard. “You have <em>certainly</em> proven to all of us that you can run, and eventually get caught. Why haven’t you tried to defend yourself, Kolyat?”</p><p>“I-I have . . .  never hit a woman . . . before,” he confessed between labored breaths and the mouth guard, his heart hammering even harder in his chest at the anticipation of her reaction.</p><p>Her brow creased in confusion, but her face hardened again quickly. For a few short seconds, the woman did not move and Kolyat remained frozen once more, waiting for the blow he was sure would end his pitiful performance. Instead, Shepard’s hand shot out, and suddenly her nails were digging into the sensitive ribbing at his stomach. Kolyat choked out a crying gasp, grabbing her wrist reflexively. However, his grip, which should have been much stronger than the small human’s, could not yank her hand from his flesh. It felt like she was about to peel his skin away.</p><p>“Does being a <em>woman</em> stop me from inflicting pain like this on you?” she asked through her teeth, nearly snarling.</p><p>Kolyat gritted his teeth against the searing pain, refusing to cry out again, even as she twisted deeper into his side.</p><p>“You asked to be here, Kolyat,” she barked. “However, all you have proven to me is that you are severely lacking in combat skills, and your misguided sense of chivalry will get you and my people <em>killed</em>. The enemies we face don’t care who you are, or your intentions. They can, and they will, hurt you, <em>and</em> your team.”</p><p>After what felt like an eternity, she ripped her nails from his side, small drops of blood welling in the crescent shaped wounds.</p><p>“Besides,” she continued casually. “There are women, here especially, that could kill you in seconds. I happen to be one of them.”</p><p>Her comment was not born of arrogance or a need to brag, it was spoken as a simple statement of fact.</p><p>Selene turned her back on him and rose to her feet in one fluid motion.</p><p>“On your feet,” she jerked her chin at him. “And fucking fight me this time."</p><p>Kolyat’s vision swam in the wake of his pain, but he shakily climbed to his feet. Whether it was the exhaustion or something else, his eyes sought out his father in the crowd. Thane’s expression was dark, nearly pained.</p><p>Meeting his eyes, his father nodded his head toward the Commander, "Fight her, Kolyat."</p><p>Kolyat nodded, forgetting his conflicting emotions towards the man in the wake of having to face Shepard once again. He removed his gloved hand from his bleeding side, and squared his shoulders as he turned to face the Commander. His scales itched under Selene’s scrutinizing glare as she assessed whether he was truly ready this time.</p><p>He stood a fraction taller, his clenched fists fiercely guarding his face.</p><p>It was only a second, but it felt like an eternity as they stared each other down. The crowd was suspended in silence, waiting to see what would happen next.</p><p>Selene smirked, before launching herself at him once more. Her battle cry echoed off the walls as she charged him with a ferocity that nearly made his knees buckle. To everyone’s surprise, Kolyat held his ground. He flipped and weaved out of her reach, letting her grasp at air. He attempted to strike her, his eyes searching for a vulnerable spot.</p><p>As she was finally forced on the defensive, Shepard could hear the group behind them calling out to Kolyat over the sound of their fight.</p><p>“Left, use your left!”</p><p>“Keep moving! Do <em>not</em> let her catch you!”</p><p>“Come on, kid. Knock her on her ass!”</p><p>That last jibe nearly made Selene smile, as she recognized Garrus’ melodical voice. While Kolyat had yet to land a single punch on her, Selene noted a natural grace and speed to his movements now that he was actually fighting, rather than just running. If he had managed to land a strike, she imagined she would have felt the power from it.</p><p>She could not help but feel mildly impressed with his renewed effort. She could <em>work</em> with this. The raw potential was something she and her team could groom and refine. Kolyat only needed to learn discipline, and diligently practice the proper techniques if he intended to stay.</p><p>At some point in their contest, she decided that she had not made a mistake in agreeing he could stay.   </p><p>However, barely twenty minutes had passed, and she noticed with a scowl that the drell was already visibly losing steam. His chest heaved, and his movements were slowed.</p><p>Selene was curious to see how long he could go for, because despite his noticeable fatigue Kolyat was continuing to pursue her. She respected his efforts, even though they were clumsy and wild. However, she understood the limits of an untrained body. It would probably be safer for the sake of avoiding injury that she end their fight sooner, rather than later.</p><p>Selene had just slipped Kolyat’s right jab, allowing her to connect with a hook to his face. Spit flew from his mouth, along with the guard protecting his teeth, as Kolyat saw stars. His head viciously snapped to the side, but shockingly he had managed to stay on his feet.</p><p>Shepard jerked his body to the right with an unrelenting hook to his abdomen. Still, Kolyat remained standing.</p><p>The drell blinked through the pain, nearly missing Selene’s leg flying toward his head. By some miracle, Kolyat summoned the speed and energy to duck from her finishing blow, and propelled himself forward. With an anguished cry, he raised Shepard up into his arms and brought her hard to the ground.</p><p>The uproarious crowd fell silent once more in their astonishment and anticipation. </p><p>Selene’s breath was slightly knocked out of her, but she was already recovering quickly. A series of return attacks ran through her head as she drew in deep breaths, her body coiling and preparing to break free from the drell’s hold.</p><p>However, instead of attacking, Kolyat paused, hovering above the Commander. He should have continued his assault, he should have tried to capitalize on his surprise success, he should have done <em>anything</em>. Instead, Selene peered back at him through calculating eyes, flat on her back, his weight pinning her down for the brief time, and he barely moved.</p><p>Unexpectedly, in his excitement at having actually survived her attack <em>and</em> knocking her to the ground, Kolyat leapt to his feet and turned his back on her. His father was smiling at him, and the younger drell felt a small surge of pride.</p><p>At some point, the crowd of spectators had continued their raucous cheering after he had pinned the Commander down. He let out a breathy laugh as he clumsily removed his head gear, the heady adrenaline of combat, mixed with him managing to remain standing, coursed through his body.</p><p>Kolyat actually smiled back at Thane, a genuine smile that warmed the older drell’s heart.</p><p>Kolyat had done well his second time, that was true regardless of what Commander Shepard thought, and Thane was pleased to see his son so happy. However, the match was not over, and Kolyat was still in danger of the fully recovered Commander.</p><p>Selene remained on the ground. Her breathing had returned back to normal in a handful of seconds. As she watched Kolyat turn towards the group behind him, triumphantly removing his head guard and giving his father a large, boyish smile, the fight completely left her. She was happy for her friend and she prayed that Kolyat’s induction into the crew would help the two heal their broken relationship. At least it might provide the steppingstones to begin that process.</p><p>Kolyat suddenly turned back to her, the smile that transformed his face catching her off guard. His expression was significantly lighter, as if years of burdens had been lifted. It was a good change, she decided, Kolyat had a very pleasant smile.</p><p>The man reached a large hand out, silently offering to help her to her feet. Selene returned the smile with a small one of her own, before sweeping her right leg out as quick as a cobra’s strike. The drell landed hard on the mat beside her. In her peripheral vision, she could see Thane pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation.</p><p>At least now Kolyat would remember not to turn his back on his opponent before a fight was <em>actually</em> over, she thought amusingly.</p><p>Selene laughed and lightly punched Kolyat in the shoulder as he groaned.</p><p>"Welcome to the Normandy, Kolyat."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Author’s note: With that, Kolyat is now a member of the crew. I really wish BioWare had given us the option to recruit Kolyat; I feel like it was a missed opportunity.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Welcome to the Normandy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I notice a few more people beginning to read this story. Thank you so much for taking an interest and I hope you are enjoying everything so far =)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Welcome to the Normandy Kolyat”, Shepard said.</p><p>Her words were intimate in their own little bubble, loud enough only for himself to hear.</p><p>“Thank you, Commander Shepard,” Kolyat grinned breathlessly, tilting his head down in respect. “You will not regret this.”</p><p>Despite his exhausted appearance, the blue drell’s expression was still just as light as before she had swiped his legs out from under him. Selene returned his smile, before coiling her body and flipping to her feet in one smooth motion.</p><p>Kolyat groaned, his body crying out in pain at the mere thought of moving. Shepard barked out a laugh as she nudged Kolyat with her foot, lending her strength and turning him onto his back. The young drell gave another loud, groaned protest.</p><p>“See that I don’t, trainee.”</p><p>Some of their lighthearted atmosphere cooled as Kolyat detected the hint of real warning clipped in her voice. Through the fog of exhaustion, he met her clear, fixed stare and gave a firm nod.</p><p>The two held each other’s gaze for a few moments longer, assessing one another. Shepard could see the potential that Kolyat had, but she had not worked her way up to her position by trusting every shiny eyed private who begged her for a chance. She might be considered young herself, but she had fought and bled for her rank and it took dedication and sacrifice to be apart of a team like the Normandy. Despite this, his black eyes held a fire in them that not many soldiers had.</p><p>Even after the solid beating she had given him, Kolyat had stubbornly fought through the urge to give up. She had seen his intense force of will, the moment he had decided to fight back.</p><p><em>I live a dangerous life, </em>she had told Kelly. .</p><p>Selene shook off the memory, wondering at what point in their match had she begun to regard Kolyat as someone who could be dangerous. Formidable, even.</p><p>“You did it, kid!” Garrus’ voice suddenly boomed. “You survived, and even managed to knock Selene here on her ass! You should have seen the look on your face, Shepard, when the kid grabbed you.”</p><p>Selene glanced up, moving away quickly. Too quickly if anyone had cared to notice. She turned her attention to Garrus and Thane as they made their way over to her and Kolyat. </p><p>Crossing her arms over her chest, she gave the turian an unamused stare. </p><p>Kolyat noticed the pleased look on his father’s face as he helped him to his feet, and tried to ignore the emotions that welled up in him. Every muscle in Kolyat’s body screamed in protested as he shifted on his feet, but he schooled his expression into one of unconcern quickly.</p><p>His brain absentmindedly latched onto something Garrus said a moment before.</p><p>“Selene?” Kolyat’s eyes shifted to the Commander, a question in his voice.</p><p>“That’s my first name,” Shepard smiled. “You didn’t think my full name was Commander Shepard, did you?”</p><p>For years there had been news reports highlighting the Commander’s career, but he could not recall hearing her first name in the debriefings. Since her survival on Akuze, when her whole squad had been destroyed in a thresher maw attack five years ago, to her heroics in the Battle of the Citadel, the name “Commander Shepard” had been widely spread and well-regarded. There was an unexpected intimacy having her name on his tongue, it felt both forbidden and pleasant at the same time.</p><p>Kolyat could not dwell on the confusing notion for long as he was led to the dwindling crowed of people that had watched over their fight. Some had to return to their duties and congratulated Kolyat on his acceptance to the crew. The few that remained, he was briefly introduced to. The presence of a geth unit with a piece of N7 armor on their shoulder and a hole punched through their chest had been the most alarming. It was dizzying to meet such an array of different races that consisted of Shepard’s ground team. His mind spun at the mentioning that there were more who would be at supper later.</p><p>“Come on,” Shepard jerked her head towards the stairs. “It’s almost dinner time. You’re probably going to want to clean up beforehand. You will have the chance to meet the rest of the crew.”</p><p>Kolyat nodded in appreciation as he was led out of the cargo bay. The group was patient as he limped behind, for which he was incredibly grateful as they maintained their familiar chatter with each other. The elevator chimed as they arrived on level three, the crew deck.</p><p>Shepard waved goodbye to everyone as they walked off the elevator. The Commander remained leaning against the back wall as the doors closed. Kolyat gave his father a questioning look before the man informed him that Shepard’s private quarters were on level one above the CIC. The older drell led Kolyat to the right towards life support, where Thane resided, a steady presence at his son’s side.</p><p>The first thing Kolyat noticed as they entered the space was the nameless cot set up across from the one with Thane’s name scrawled neatly across the board at the foot of the bed.</p><p> “It appears that the crew has already thought to take care of you,” Thane mused. Kolyat could get used to the efficiency of the Normandy.</p><p>Thane motioned toward the empty cot, encouraging Kolyat to gingerly lower himself onto the makeshift bed. Thane disappeared behind his own cot, rustling through a large leather bag. Once he emerged, he instructed Kolyat to lie back, and approached with a medi-gel distributor in his hands. As he lay back, Thane carefully and expertly injected a small amount of the medicinal salve into his son’s arm. He nodded in approval as Kolyat’s damaged body relaxed almost instantaneously.</p><p>A small part of Kolyat’s brain noted the strangeness of his life now, enhanced by his father’s presence and the medi-gel at work. He wondered if there was even enough time for him to hear all of Thane’s stories, another part of him wondered if he wanted to hear them.</p><p>Kolyat watched in amazement as the crescent shaped puncture wounds on the side of his stomach knitted together within seconds, distracting him from his thoughts.  Kolyat felt his eyes grow heavy, whether it was the effects of the medi-gel, or his long day, or a combination of both, he did not know. The young drell blissfully allowed the overwhelming exhaustion to overtake him.</p><p>The last thing he heard before entirely relinquishing himself to the succumbing darkness was his father’s whispering voice, saying he should rest, he would wake him when dinner was ready.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>Shepard’s mind was preoccupied as she showered and decompressed from the day. Her mind was trying to process how many events had transpired in only one day. The addition of Thane’s son to the crew had not been on her to-do list and had come as the greatest surprise of the last twenty-four hours. Thankfully, Kolyat was not completely hopeless as she had initially feared at the start of their contest. He had eventually handled himself very well and he appeared sufficiently humbled about falsifying his combat knowledge.</p><p>Under the relaxing spray of hot water against her tired muscles, Selene’s mind wondered to her pervious musings of what Kolyat might become after a bit of proper training. An image of the blue drell’s forceful stare flashed behind her closed eyes. Selene would admit, if only in the privacy of her own mind, that she found him to be strikingly handsome. Particularly his eyes, which held a keen soulfulness to them that contrasted with his young age and inexperience. Involuntarily, Shepard’s light appreciation of Kolyat’s person, sucked her back to the past, to Kadian and the old Normandy SR1.  </p><p>Staff Lieutenant Kadian Alenko had been mildly enjoyable at best, a pleasant wave of occasional flirting and his persistent affection. They had had a brief involvement aboard the previous Normandy before she had died. He had vowed to follow her on their mission to take down the reaper Sovereign and the rouge Spector Saren Arterius.</p><p>It was clear that her feelings had not run as deeply as Kadian’s did for her. She had still enjoyed their friendly conversations and eventually their light flirting was a welcome distraction. However, when she told him this before their mission on Ilos, the Lieutenant had not cared, convincing himself that he could give her the space she needed to come to him.</p><p>She had been foolish to allow their relationship to drag out, letting their lukewarm passion escalate into sex on a couple of occasions. She winced, remembering the genuine lack of care she had given his emotions, allowing herself to believe that maybe she would change eventually or he would lose interest.</p><p>Unfortunately, Kadian had taken her passing hard. The man had believed he was in love with her and had convinced himself that Shepard reciprocated his feelings without ever having said it. After two years of mourning her, the two had unexpectedly reunited on Horizon during Shepard’s investigation of the Illusive Man’s reports. She had thrown herself into work after returning to the land of the living, her mind preoccupied with the collector’s possible attack on the colony.</p><p>She remembered with a twang of sympathy the feeling of Kadian lifting her into his arms, too overwhelmed with his own emotions to notice her awkwardness. She had begun to wonder if she was even capable of returning his feelings, if she could ever grow to love someone in the way that normal people do.</p><p>She had not had to wonder for too long, as Kadian had affectedly ended their friendship completely when he accused her of being a traitor to the Alliance.</p><p>Shepard could not deny the hurt she had felt over Kadian’s fervent rejection of her, and his accusations. Even if she had not loved the man, she had at least thought him to be a close friend and she did not have many of those.</p><p>She could not help but remember how it had felt, knowing how vulnerable she had allowed herself to be under her misguided trust for the man. No, she did not love him, but she had thought Kadian had known her better than that. The harsh lesson she had learned that day had echoed in her mind down in the cargo hold, when she had stood with her foot resting on Kolyat earlier. Her poor grasp on a relationship with a crew member had only led to heartache and distrust and the memory sent warning alarms off in her head when she looked at the blue drell. </p><p>Her mind flitted back to after her match with Kolyat, as she had introduced him to a handful of crew members. Tali, Legion, Kasumi, and Jack had been the few remaining spectators left in the cargo bay besides Thane and Garrus. Kolyat had looked properly startled by Jack’s air of intimidation, the violent woman telling him to stay out of her way if he was going to remain a part of the team. <em>Don’t let Shepard’s kindness fool you, that was pathetic out there. Do yourself a favor and leave kid</em>, Jack had told him. Selene had felt a twinge of protectiveness roll through her for reasons she could not place, nor did she wish to dwell on.      </p><p>Selene sighed as she stepped out of the shower, intense steam fogging up her mirror. She had a feeling tonight was going to be just as exhausting.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  
</p><p>Around the two rows of long tables, chattering voices rose up toward the ceiling of the mess hall. A man named Gardner boasted that, tonight, Kolyat had been accepted to the best damn team in the galaxy. Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels from engineering, and two other humans, also enthusiastically welcomed him to the team on their way out of the mess hall and to their bunks.</p><p>"So, Commander,” Zaeed’s gruff and heavily accented voice called out to Selene. “Tell us again why you didn't drop the kid like you did the rest of us."</p><p>Selene sat at the head of one of the tables in the mess hall, where Zaeed sat across from her on the other side of the table giving her a critical stare. He was a burly man that held a powerful presence, with black tattoos climbing up his arms and out of the neck of his shirt. His piercing gaze, the right eye clouded over due to his half blindness from an angry looking scar, bore into Shepard’s own unfaltering gaze.</p><p>Most of the team tuned into the conversation, unable to ignore the gruff mercenary’s booming voice. Selene noticed Jack and Grunt nodding in agreement from the corner of her eye, disapproving of her sparring match with Kolyat.</p><p>Miranda Lawson chimed in, her own accented voice cutting through the din, “Shepard lost against the drell?”</p><p>Obviously, Shepard’s Cerberus appointed executive officer had assumed she would easily take down the drell within minutes. That explained why the she had not attended the match like most of the crew. </p><p>“Shepard did not lose, Ms. Lawson,” Thane murmured from her right side, the first time he had spoken since entering the mess hall with Kolyat earlier.</p><p>Shifting her gaze to the blue drell sitting next to here, Shepard noticed that Kolyat looked moderately better. Thane had expertly patched him up and proper rest, even just an hour before dinner, could do wonders for even the most battle wounded.</p><p>When they had entered earlier, Kolyat had stood stiff with his hands clasped behind his broad back, looking nearly like a mirrored image of his father, as he surveyed the packed room.</p><p>Selene slid her gaze back over to Zaeed, subtly shifting into her Commander voice, the even volume carried easily over the crew’s, “I think I did my job well, Zaeed,” everyone fell silent as she continued. “It wasn’t a competition, or a fair match. In fact,” she slid narrowed eyes over to where Kelly and Joker sat, shrinking under her gaze. “I distinctly remember not inviting a single one of you to <em>my</em> private assessment of a potential recruit.”</p><p>Zaeed looked only slightly cowed, but he barreled forward regardless, “You aren’t doing the little lizard any favors by taking it easy on him, Selene. That poor excuse for a fight should have been over in the first thirty seconds.”</p><p>The former Blue Suns mercenary turned his cold gaze on Kolyat as he addressed him directly, “Make no mistakes, kid. If that had been a real fight, we would’ve been scraping you off the cargo bay floor.”</p><p>“I think our Commander knows what she is doing regarding training of the crew, Mr. Massani,” Thane’s low voice nearly growled. The two men locked eyes across the table, ramping up the tension.</p><p>Kolyat shifted uncomfortably, the weight of the crew’s discontent sitting heavily on his shoulders. He could understand their reluctance, it had certainly seemed like Shepard had gone easy on him in the training circle. However, worse than the idea of being disliked by the squad members, was relying on his father’s protection.</p><p>He did not need anyone standing up for him, especially if he was to earn the respect of any of the ship’s members. Before he could interrupt the intense staring contest, Shepard shot to her feet with incredible speed.  </p><p>She jerked him to his feet with a strong hand wrapped around his bicep, although it felt gentler than it looked.</p><p>“I am going to say this once,” she said calmly, her voice loud and commanding. “So, everyone better fucking listen.</p><p>“Kolyat is now the newest member of the team,” her voice held no room for arguments or rebuttals. “He will act in a purely supportive role while training with the squad, until <em>I</em> deem him ready for ground missions. There will be no further complaints, comments, or questions on whether he deserves to be here. I have allowed him to stay here, and he has chosen to put his life on the line for this mission just like every single one of us.</p><p>“Now,” she barked. “if I hear of anyone so much as questioning <em>my </em>decision to have him on board, I welcome you to come discuss your concerns with me <em>yourselves</em>.”</p><p>She gazed out across the mess hall, challenging anyone to do just that. Her scars glowed brighter as she searched for any hint of a rebuttal, making her look fierce and otherworldly. </p><p>“Kolyat, do you have anything you would like to say?” Shepard turned her attention on him.</p><p>He was visibly startled, but quickly willed his face to remain impassive.</p><p>Kolyat could sense the moment she was handing him: a chance to define himself as an individual. Not just Thane Krios’ son, but Kolyat.</p><p>“I would like to thank all of you for welcoming me onboard,” he said softly, his voice sounding weak in comparison to Shepard’s. The look of the crowd did not fill him with much courage. “Some of you have . . .  reservations about me joining the crew. I <em>will</em> prove I deserve my place on this ship, whether you believe me now or not. Commander,” he turned to Selene. “I do not intend on letting you or the crew down.”</p><p>Most of you clearly respect my father, he wanted to say. I refuse to rely on him for my responsibilities, I refuse to rely on him for anything.</p><p>Instead, he offered a quiet: “Anything you have to say, the training you feel like I need, please do not hold back.”</p><p>Giving a small bow, and a glance in Selene’s direction that only she noticed, he ducked back into his seat.</p><p>Silence fell over the mess hall as Shepard returned to her own seat, undeterred by the heaviness in the room.</p><p>Suddenly, Jack chimed in from the other table, slicing through the tension, “Fuck it. Welcome to Shepard’s band of misfits, blue boy.”</p><p>With that, Kolyat was unofficially, officially accepted into the Normandy crew.</p><p>The noise in the mess hall grew as the food was finally served. All previous grievances fell to the wayside as the crew dug in, starving after today’s excitement.</p><p>Kolyat took notice of the casual conversations surrounding him as he carefully chewed his food. Garrus, Shepard, Tali, and his father were speaking about possible training rotations Kolyat could be added to. Sometimes one of them would question his abilities with biotics or guns. His mind was distracted by the diversity of Shepard’s team.</p><p>Kolyat’s eyes travelled down to the end of their table where Zaeed sat shoveling food into his mouth, an air of intimidation around him. The human looked older than most of the squad, but his heavily scarred face and chiseled features hinted at his abilities.</p><p>“That’s Zaeed Massani, the former founder and leader of the Blue Suns mercenary group,” Selene murmured in his ear when she noticed his wondering eyes. “He was betrayed by his former lieutenant, shot in the head by the man and left for dead.”</p><p>At the look of trepidation on Kolyat’s face, Shepard gave him a light nudge with her elbow and gave a firm look of encouragement.</p><p>“All you have to do, is listen and learn,” she continued when he didn’t respond. “Zaeed will come around eventually.”</p><p>Shepard smiled at him, silently trying to reassure him.</p><p>An asari sat to Zaeed’s left, and Selene explained to him that her name was Samara. Currently, the nearly thousand-year-old asari was sworn to Shepard’s service due to the Commander helping her with a matter on Illium. Samara had promised to serve in her crew until they succeeded, or she died.</p><p>They continued their meal in this manner: Kolyat took the time to ask her every question he could think of about each crew member. They leaned into one another, invitingly sharing each other’s space as they spoke. By the time the crew in the mess hall had thinned out, Kolyat was familiar with everyone on the ground team.</p><p>Some of them had even chosen to introduce themselves, and congratulate him on being welcomed to the team.</p><p>After a while, only Shepard, Garrus, Kolyat, Thane, and Grunt remained in the mess hall.</p><p>“I found some schematics from the pod I was birthed from, Shepard,” Grunt informed her. “They held plans for a modified shotgun called a Claymore.”</p><p>The slight eagerness in his voice made her pause, but she reached over to grab the data pad and skim over his findings herself. The shotgun that Grunt described appeared to violate several of the weapon’s safety standards. </p><p>While Selene was unsure if the rest of the crew would be able to use the weapon, she was positive that Grunt could definitely handle the power.</p><p>“Pass these findings down to Mordin and have the shotgun assembled, Grunt,” Shepard ordered with a nod of approval.</p><p>Grunt grinned and gave his battle master a fist bump, his own large hand dwarfing her own. Selene smiled affectionately and climbed on the table to press a kiss to the top of the krogan’s head. Grunt growled low in the back of his throat, but his smile betrayed how much he enjoyed Shepard’s attention.</p><p>Ever since Shepard had led Grunt through his Rite of Passage into clan Urdnot, he had begun to regard Shepard as more than his battle master. She felt more like a mother to the synthetically created krogan. </p><p>After receiving Shepard’s approval for the weapon’s research, Grunt gave the Commander an affectionate sniff before turning towards the elevators. Selene turned back to the remaining group and smirked as Garrus teased her about her pseudo-adoption of the adolescent krogan.</p><p>“Shepard, have you chosen our next destination?” Thane asked as she settled back in her seat.</p><p>“Yes,” Selene answered around a large yawn. “I promised Jack that we would head to Pragia next. It will be a five-day flight, so everyone prepare for that." The Commander stretched as she continued, “That should give us plenty of time to integrate Kolyat into the squad’s training schedule.”</p><p>Selene shifted to look at Kolyat. "I plan on having you work with everyone on the team. We have the best specialists in the galaxy on this ship, and I highly suggest you utilize their knowledge while you’re here. Almost every race in Council Space is represented here, for a reason. There should be no trouble whipping you into fighting shape,” she gave Kolyat a pointed look. “<em>If</em> you can listen to their orders.”</p><p>“Yes, Commander,” Kolyat answered immediately, his eyes glinting.</p><p>Selene smiled in satisfaction before continuing. “Good. Tomorrow we’ll test your weapon skills. Try to get a base reading on what you’re most comfortable with.”</p><p>Another yawn overtook Selene, a sign that the day was coming to an end. Shepard bid the remaining members goodnight and promptly disappeared into the elevator, escaping to her cabin.</p><p>Kolyat’s eyes naturally followed her, as she retreated behind the wall. He absentmindedly wondered what the next day would bring for him, especially under Shepard’s command.</p><p>“Well, hopefully you’re not a sniper,” Garrus broke through Kolyat’s musing. “We have far too many at this point, and I don't want to crush <em>another</em> person’s spirit by outperforming them in the field. I always seem to leave you father and Shepard behind every time."</p><p>Garrus grinned and stretched his arms over his head, leisurely rising from his seat as he waited to see whether Thane would take the bait.</p><p>“I cannot imagine you outperforming me in anything, Garrus,” Thane answered stoically as he climbed to his feet.</p><p>Silence hung between them for a few moments. Kolyat glanced between the two men, trying to gauge whether they were serious or whether this was just a good-natured teasing between friends. Both men suddenly cracked, chuckling and clasping each other’s forearms in a friendly shake.</p><p>"We shall see about that tomorrow, my friend,” Garrus boasted. “I'll teach you and your young one what a real sniper looks like."</p><p>"I look forward to seeing you try," Thane paused, and leaned forward. "And failing miserably.”</p><p>They released each other, and Garrus nodded in Kolyat’s direction, reaching out his arm to the younger drell.  </p><p>As Kolyat raised his arm uncertainly, Garrus grasped his forearm in a firm grip and jerked him forward. "Welcome to Shepard's crew, kid."</p><p>Kolyat tightened his loose grip and received an approving smile that made him feel warm. He nodded his thanks, and Garrus released him before turning to retreat to his own room.</p><p>That left Kolyat and Thane alone in the quiet mess hall. Kolyat detected a look in his father’s large eyes, a glint of pride that made a weight lift from his shoulders, one he had never been aware of but had been with him his entire life. The relationship between Kolyat and his father had many complex layers, but today felt like a new beginning for both of them.</p><p>As Kolyat situated himself on his new cot, Thane tapped the wall next to his own bed and reached into the revealed drawers for his night clothes. Kolyat watched him carefully, and surveyed the room without really taking anything in. In less than twenty-four hours, Kolyat’s entire world had been upheaved. He still had mixed feelings toward his father, towards the entire crew, but for the first time in a long while he felt optimistic about the future.</p><p>Despite the uncertainty revolving around the Normandy’s mission, he felt like he could make a place for himself here among the crew.</p><p>Thane finished dressing and situated himself on his own cot. “So, what do you think so far?” he asked, facing Kolyat.</p><p>“This feels right,” Kolyat answered immediately. “I’m glad I am here. . . with you.” The last part he added hesitantly, but he could not deny its truth.</p><p> “Good,” Thane responded with a hopeful smile. “I believe you are correct. This was the right choice for you, Kolyat. Despite whatever choices I would have made for you, I am proud of the man you have become.”</p><p>Before he could respond, Thane continued.</p><p>“What do you think of the Commander?”</p><p>“She is something else,” Kolyat answered quietly, his heartrate increasing at the mention of his new employer. “The reports do not do her justice.”</p><p>Thane chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Indeed. When I first met her, she was destroying her way through a building full of Eclipses mercs, just to find me. I admit, I thought she might be there to kill me. When we finally caught up to one another, she revealed how she wanted to recruit me. I thought her insane when she told me about her mission to go after the collectors. Now I believe if there was anyone in the galaxy who would succeed in such a mission, it truly is her."</p><p>They spent the next hour talking to each other. Kolyat asked his father about more details of the mission, having only received the basics during their initial talk. Thane told him about the reapers and their plans for galactic genocide. Shepard had recently discovered a device called a reaper IFF, a piece of tech that was designed to identify a friend or foe. She intended to use the technology to pass through the Omega-3 relay, to both stop the collectors, and discover their full connection to the reapers. It sounded as if the collectors were just a small threat in the grand scheme of the reaper invasion, but Kolyat agreed their kidnapping of humans needed to end. Especially, if they were working for the reapers.  </p><p>"Looks like I joined up just in time," Kolyat snorted. His father chuckled in agreement.</p><p>Kolyat's face sobered, "Do you think we’ll survive?"</p><p>"I don’t know,” Thane answered simply, his face equally as serious. “But I know Selene is doing all she can to prepare us. Under her leadership, I believe we have the best chance of surviving." Thane gave his son a meaningful look before adding, "All of us."</p><p>Kolyat gave his father a small smile, which Thane returned.</p><p>"You should sleep, Kolyat, you have more work to do tomorrow."</p><p>Thane leaned back in his cot and tapped a few buttons on his omini tool. A moment later, a black holo shade appeared over the only window in the room. This blocked out the pulsing light from the drive core beyond the window.</p><p>Kolyat relaxed into his own cot, pulling the blankets over himself. He gave a deep breath, a content expression on his face as he thought about where he was. He stared up at the ceiling as his mind drifted. His eyelids grew heavy as his last coherent thoughts about silver-green eyes and orange scars on smooth skin floated away.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! Sunday updates appear to be the normal routine that my sister (my beta) and I are shooting for. However, some chapters are getting particularly long after this one. I will give a warning if a chapter will take two weeks to post rather than one ^.^</p><p>Hope you enjoy &lt;3</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Let's Get Started</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Consciousness rushed back to Kolyat quickly. It felt like only a moment between his drifting off into a deep sleep before his eyes snapped open, taking in the unfamiliar gray metal of the ceiling above. He was sluggish in registering his surroundings.</p><p>The events of yesterday flooded back; he felt excitement bubble up within him as he remembered every moment of a fierce silver-green gaze tracking him like prey. Everything had not been some fantastical dream.</p><p>As he adjusted into a seated position, his sore muscles spasmed in protest. The medi-gel had helped tremendously because he was sure that he’d be incapacitated otherwise. He lifted the corner of his borrowed top to investigate the injury Shepard had inflicted with her nails, curious about the damage. His two fused fingers traced the scar tissue that had already partially healed along the fleshy ribbing of his side.</p><p><em>Thank the gods for medi-gel</em>, he thought to himself. He was surprised to find that the freshly forming scars did not hurt, but there would be permanent marks left on his skin. A physical memory of Commander Shepard’s first lesson to him as a member of her crew.</p><p>Kolyat let the shirt fall back over his torso, before he swung his legs over the edge of his cot. His father’s bed was empty, the blankets neatly pressed and folded atop the surface. He idly wondered what time the crew usually awoke, and whether they purposefully allowed him to sleep in. As he stretched, twisting and rolling his joints, he noticed the stiffness in his limbs.</p><p>He had always considered himself reasonably athletic, his trim frame and lightly defined muscles had led him to believe that he was suitably fit. After his twenty-minute sparing match with Shepard, he was rethinking his definition of fitness. He was briefly disappointed that he could not imagine himself being much help in a long-drawn-out fight.</p><p>He made a vow to himself that he would do whatever Shepard needed of him to get stronger and build his endurance. If he needed to tear apart his body and completely rebuild it, he would do it if it moved him up from support staff onto the actual ground squad. A small, hidden part of him felt like a young boy again, picked last in the schoolyard to participate in games. The scraps, left behind and unwanted.</p><p>Before Kolyat could dwell on those memories, the doors to life support swished open.</p><p>Kolyat turned as a tall salarian in a white and red lab coat strode into the room. <em>Mordin</em>, his memory supplied. Shepard had told him last night that Dr. Mordin Solus was a former STG operative that had worked on the genophage project, a lab experiment that had rendered most krogan reproductively sterile. However, he knew it had been the turians that had chosen to deploy the sterility plague upon the krogans in retaliation for the brutal conflict between their two species during the Krogan Rebellions.</p><p>For the last hundred years, the krogan population had slowly been dying out through a combination of low pregnancy viability and their viciously militaristic culture. It was an amazing feat in his opinion that Shepard had managed to command Grunt to cooperate with Garrus and the salarian doctor.</p><p>Astonishingly, it appeared that the three of them got along relatively well.</p><p>He noticed immediately that was missing half of his right horn, and a large X shaped scar dominated the left part of his long face. His salmon colored scales and white highlights showed the telltale signs of aging and healed scars. The man was advanced in age for his people, forty years old Shepard had informed him.</p><p>However, his mind was still keen, if a little eccentric. Kolyat could tell Mordin was as sharp and combat ready as anyone else on the ship. Certainly, he was one of the most intelligent of the crew.</p><p>Mordin had actually been one of the few crew members who had introduced himself personally to Kolyat during dinner last night. The man’s quick speech took Kolyat by surprise, but he remembered he was told that Dr. Solus would be coming to retrieve him for a medical evaluation with Dr. Chakwas, the physician who had treated his bullet wound.</p><p>"Ah. Young Mr. Krios,” Dr. Solus rushed out in his quick speech. “Glad to see you awake and moving. If you are ready, we can begin our medical evaluation.” He blinked at Kolyat expectantly with his overly large eyes, as if wondering why he wasn’t currently following him to the medical bay. As if he didn’t realize how abrupt his sudden appearance was in Kolyat’s space.</p><p>Kolyat was so distracted by Mordin’s sudden appearance that he had missed the smaller gray-haired human behind him. Dr. Chackwas had a kind, but stern air about her. According to Shepard, Dr. Chackwas had been apart of Shepard’s crew since the original Normandy SR1. Kolyat had gotten the impression the doctor was just as loyal to the commander as Tali, Garrus and his father appeared to be.</p><p>After seeing how Shepard handled herself, and the respect in which she commanded her crew, he could easily begin to imagine pledging himself to her leadership for the rest of his life. He might have already done so, depending on the outcome of their current mission.  </p><p>Dr. Chackwas’ gray eyes surveyed the younger man, assessing his sleep rumbled appearance with a kind smile. “We can give you a moment to collect yourself Kolyat,” she offered. “Mordin and I will be waiting in the medical bay whenever you are ready.”</p><p>Mordin appeared confused, as if he couldn’t understand why the younger Mr. Krios could not come with them now. It was an almost endearing quality of the man, Kolyat mused, not fully understanding slower social practices. Regardless, he allowed himself to be led out by his colleague and gave Kolyat some privacy.</p><p>Kolyat wandered over to his father’s collection of clothes, idly sifting through his assortment of trousers and shirts. He chose a black sleeveless top and workout pants. As he gathered some toiletries, the blue drell thought about the myriad of supplies he would need to shop for soon. He’d only brought a scant number of things with him from home. His time spent living out of the cold, impersonal hotel room on the Citadel felt like eons ago. By now he imagined the surly volus that had owned the place had probably pawned off the rest of his things after he neglected to check out or pay his remaining bill.</p><p>As Kolyat made the short walk to the bathrooms across from life support, he shrugged the loss off. He had purposely not brought anything important with him on his travels.</p><p>As Kolyat showered and got dressed, he couldn’t help but notice the snug fit of his father’s trousers. The bottom legs tapered off just above his ankles, leaving a couple inches of awkwardly exposed scaled skin. The blue drell gave a humorless bark of laughter at the reminder that he had out grown his father. Thane easily had more muscle mass on him, but there was something unnerving about the idea of looking <em>down </em>at his father instead of up. His mind had been preoccupied with more pressing matters last night to really dwell on the difference.</p><p>Kolyat could remember idolizing Thane once long ago, a distant memory of thinking his father was the strongest person in the world, who could handle anything thrown at him. Someone who was incredibly sure of himself. Briefly, he remembered demanding every moment of Thane’s time when he was on leave from his jobs. He would ask him to tell him stories of his galactic travels so often he must have heard the carefully edited tales a dozen different times, his mother in the distance watching them fondly. Kolyat had loved those times when they had felt like a normal family.</p><p>The blue drell shook off the cobwebs of a life that was long gone. It was easy to get overwhelmed by the memories of the family he’d lost in that moment. However, he now had to focus on the sense of purpose he had gain.</p><p>He still felt resentment toward his father, hurt by his abandonment. However, after yesterday, he could see a fork in the road of his future: the possibility to make amends with the dying man and explore their relationship before it was too late.  </p><p>Hopefully he had found a more permanent home to start gathering the pieces of his new life.</p><p>Kolyat threw his dirty cloths down a laundry chute next to the exit and made his way over to the medical bay where the two doctors awaited him.</p>
<hr/><p>The sound of Garrus’ complaining rang out across the crew deck. “I can’t believe you bit me,” he was exclaiming loudly to his chuckling companions as they exited the elevators, “Thane, she <em>bit</em> me. Why would you bite me?”</p><p>The few crew members who were present in the mess hall chuckled in amusement at the large turian’s outburst. It was not uncommon for Garrus to be sporting a new injury that Shepard had caused during training. Apparently, this time she had bitten him.</p><p>Garrus was shirtless as he came around the corner, supporting his left forearm with a clawed hand. Thane and Selene trailed behind him, also dressed in training cloths. Shepard nearly leaned against Thane for support as she pressed her mouth into a hard line and hid her face against his shoulder, attempting to muffle her out-of-control laughter. Tears were gathering in her eyes from the effort. Thane’s normally stoic façade held a visible smirk on his lips and a subtle shake to his shoulders as he too fought to contain his own mirth.</p><p>"Hey Doc, I need you to look at this. I might have a disease now."</p><p>The trio swept into the medical bay, oblivious to the closed shutters on the window, which usually indicated extra privacy was needed for a patient. There was an unspoken rule that the crew should knock before entering when the shutters were drawn.</p><p>"Hey <em>pendejo!</em>” Selene exclaimed through her smile.“I don't have any diseases. I should be the one being tested, I tasted blood and for all I know I'm going to die now. I need to sterilize my . . . oh."</p><p>As the ranting pair finally took notice of the room, Shepard’s outburst trailed off and her eyes widened in shock at the very naked drell in front of her.</p><p><em>Wow</em>, <em>he’s beautiful, </em>was her initial thought, before quickly shielding her eyes and turning away from him. She had to forcibly stop herself from returning her wondering stare to the navy and teal scales that reached below his hips.</p><p>Kolyat stood before them stark naked as the doctors conducted a full medical survey, with his blue scales and taut muscles on full display. Normally he wasn’t shy about his body, and Garrus entering had not caused much concern. However, underneath Selene’s unexpected silvery-green gaze, her startled expression burned into his memory forever, he felt his body jerk into action.</p><p>Kolyat leapt for his clothes, tripping over himself as he frantically twisted around. He managed to consciously avoid knocking Dr. Chakwas over in his attempt to reach his clothing. Unfortunately, as a result, he fell face first to the ground behind the large medical cart Mordin had set up in the middle of the room. Kolyat had managed to catch himself on his forearms at the last second, saving his nose and jaw from meeting the unforgiving metal floor. </p><p>“Oh shit,” Selene breathed, as her gaze was pulled in the direction of the loud crashing of medical equipment. He managed to catch a glimpse of a blue body falling to the floor, thankfully covered by the large cart in the center of the room. She halting herself from rushing over to Kolyat’s side, imagining that it would only increase his embarrassment. </p><p>Garrus had no such qualms, and he erupted into a deep fit of laughter. He bent over with both hands on his knees. Of course, Kolyat’s unfortunate situation would be enough to distract the dramatic turian from his arm.</p><p>Selene felt Thane jerk beside her, the only thing stopping him from moving further into the room was the strong hand she placed on his chest. She shot Thane a firm glance, subtly shaking her head. After years of being separated from his son, it wouldn’t be appreciated at this point if he kept trying to rush to his side. Kolyat had been a capable adult for a long time, gone was the little boy that Thane remembered from Kahje.</p><p>Kolyat sighed from the medical bay floor, wondering with exasperation why he kept embarrassing himself in front of Shepard. He wished with his entire being that the floor below would just open up and swallow him. He dreaded having to stand and face the group, <em>especially Selene</em>, his brain supplied.</p><p>The Commander shifted closer so she could properly see his face, but not close enough to see his concealed body.</p><p>“You okay Kolyat?” she offered a soft, comforting smile. “I am really sorry we interrupted you.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Kolyat cleared his throat, shifting into a kneeling position. Shepard noticed the frills at his neck were significantly brighter, and he kept his large eyes fixed somewhere around her nose as he spoke. “I . . . I was just startled, that’s all.”</p><p>Dr. Chakwas showed mercy on the poor man, and conveniently pressed his clothes into his arms. The group allowed him some privacy to quickly pull his trousers on, leaving his shirt on the table in front of him. As Kolyat rose to his feet, he finally made eye contact with Selene. Her silver-green eyes shone with kindness and regret, that small smile still quirking her lips. Kolyat found himself returning the smile, feeling slightly better at the sight of it.</p><p>“Well then, since you three caused such a commotion, Mordin might as well look at Garrus’ arm,” Dr. Chakwas sighed, continuing to glare at them sternly. Shepard wondered if this is how a disappointed mother would look at her children after watching them do something particularly foolish.  </p><p>Shepard shifted her feet self-consciously, feeling chastised under the older woman’s words.</p><p>“It’s his fault,” she mumbled, moving stealthily behind Garrus and shoving him forward.</p><p>“How is you biting me <em>my</em> fault?”</p><p>“For one, you deserved it,” she arched an accusing brow, crossing her tattooed arms over her chest. “Also, <em>you</em> opened the door.”</p><p>“See what I deal with, Doc?” Garrus exclaimed, ambling over to Mordin</p><p>Despite his silence, an amused smile played at the corner of Dr. Solus’ thin mouth as he took Garrus’ arm, inspecting the cracked plating and leathery skin underneath.</p><p>Selene silently congratulated herself as Dr. Chakwas fondly shook her head, her ire effectively diffused. At twenty-five years old, the commander had experienced and achieved things that soldiers three times her age never would, but it was times like this where the doctor was reminded just how young she really was.</p><p>The doctor’s eyes softened as she took in the carefree and relaxed side of Selene that was hidden too often. Chakwas’ attention sharpened as she turned back to Kolyat. “Okay Mr. Krios, we are almost done here. I just need you to breath deep into this and that should complete the evaluation.”</p><p>The doctor handed Kolyat a mechanism with a rounded, rubber mouthpiece. The part was connected to a long tube, which was linked to a bulky machine to his right. Dr. Chakwas gave the machine’s holo screen a few taps, and it emitted a digital chirp as she woke it up; Kolyat’s information was entered next.</p><p>Thane recognized the machine—it was the same model that the doctors used to diagnose him with Kepral Syndrome ten years ago. He had been subjected to the breathing exercise again when he had first joined the crew. The device had determined the health of his lungs were stable but had deteriorated to 89% efficiency.</p><p>The longer he chose to wear his body down physically, or expose himself to humid environments, the faster the disease would eat away at his ability to process oxygen. Eventually, it would spread to his other organs, shutting them down one by one.</p><p>“Pardon me, Dr. Chakwas,” Thane shifted forward, raising his voice above a murmur. “Would it be permissible for me to stay for Kolyat’s results?”</p><p>There was a massive part of Thane that worried Kolyat had inherited the gene that made most drell susceptible to the disease. There was a small chance that Kolyat, being part of a younger generation of drell, was far enough removed from their arid dwelling ancestors that he might not carry the gene. There was a possibility that his body had adapted to the humid environment of Kahje enough to not be at such a risk. It was always the hope of older drell that the younger generations would soon naturally evolve to become more resistant towards the disease.  </p><p>Thane was shocked over how wracked his psyche felt with the return of his son in his life. He had made peace with his inevitable death long ago, but he couldn’t help but wish for more time to reintroduce himself to Kolyat’s life.</p><p>“If Kolyat says it is okay, I do not mind if you stay.”</p><p>Chakwas gave the machine one last tap before turning back to Kolyat, awaiting his answer before proceeding.</p><p>The blue drell’s eyes shifted over to his father, and he gave a nondescript nod. Thane’s impassive mask melted into a look of gratefulness, and Kolyat’s heart clenched painfully.</p><p>Though he was not ready to say the words, Kolyat could feel a warmth blooming in his chest at the prospect of caring for his father again. Of having the chance to know him, to hear his real stories, and to begin trusting him perhaps. The ticking time clock that was his father’s life made the grudge he’d held for so long slowly unclench; the cruelty of a universe destined to force them apart pushed him to peer beyond the pain of his abandonment.</p><p>Selene noticed the exchange and sent a silent prayer of thanks for the younger drell’s capability to forgive. She had underestimated him in more ways than one.</p><p>Kolyat’s range of maturity appeared more complex than she’d initially believed.</p><p>“I’ll just be in the mess hall when you are all done,” Shepard hooked her thumb over her shoulder toward the door. She had only made it half a step before Mordin called out to her.</p><p>“Not so fast Shepard. Broke through Garrus’ skin. Lazarus Project caused all sorts of enhancements. Should run tests on your new capabilities at later time. Perhaps assess how deeply you could tear into skin with teeth and nails.”</p><p>Whether he realized that he hadn’t given her a single formed thought, Shepard didn’t know. The salarian finished bandaging Garrus’ arm and informed her that he should make sure that she had not ingested any blood before she left.</p><p>Shepard gave a low groan of protest but shuffled over to the doctor regardless.</p><p>“Alright, young Mr. Krios. Let us see how those lungs of yours are doing,” Dr. Chakwas chimed. “When you hear the beep, please blow as much air as you can into the mouthpiece and continue until I indicate you should stop. We will do this three times.”</p><p>The machine gave out a helpful chirp, signaling he should begin.</p><p>As Kolyat completed his breathing exercise, Shepard soldiered through Mordin’s torturous examination. The tall salarian stuck a metal monitor in her mouth, while poking and prodding her with needles. He took samples of blood and injected her with an immunity booster as a precaution. All the while, Garrus sat to her right, giving her a smug look as she clenched her teeth and growled in the back of her throat.</p><p>Selene glared at him, promising that she would make him pay.</p><p>“I fail to see how this is my fault when you were the one who bit me,” Garrus taunted.</p><p>Selene arched an indifferent brow and raised her middle finger at him.</p><p>“Alright, Commander, that should be good enough,” Mordin broke through their playful teasing’s. “Results show antibodies destroying any foreign substance that might be causing a negative reaction remarkably quickly. Really should run more tests to gain full understanding of your new body’s capabilities.”</p><p>He hurried to continue at the sharp look she shot toward him at hearing <em>more tests</em>, “Not right now of course. Will always be available if you change your mind. Have theory your body’s ability to flush out toxins faster is linked with your previous . . .” Mordin coughed into his hand as he looked between Garrus and Shepard before continuing. “<em>Encounters</em> with one another.”</p><p>By this time, Kolyat and Dr. Chakwas had finished with his exam. The woman assured his father that Kolyat was perfectly healthy, with no trace of Kepral Syndrome. The doctor added that Kolyat could live a long healthy life if the commander did not kill him in training before that. Chakwas ignored the fact that they all might very well die on the mission they were currently undertaking, wishing to instead focus on the positive.</p><p>Her joke at Selene’s expense was just as much a warning as a jest; the boy obviously still had time to reconsider his position.</p><p>Kolyat ignored the subtle warning as he pulled his shirt over his head, his attention wandering over to where Garrus and Shepard sat, his ears perking at Mordin saying something about “encounters” between the two. <em>What kind of encounters was the salarian hinting at?</em> Kolyat wondered. <em>Were the two a couple? </em></p><p>He had originally perceived them to be only close friends, his initial suspicions were more raised over his father and Selene’s involvement. After yesterday’s events, he had pretty much dismissed that possibility. However, he realized with a slight panic, Kolyat had not considered the possibility of Commander Shepard being involved with someone else on the ship.</p><p>As Kolyat watched the two grin at one another with a knowing look, he felt his stomach plummet. He was alarmed at the disappointment that flooded him, and the tightening of his chest. His mind was filled with it and he couldn’t find his inner logic to question why he was feeling so miserable at the possibility of a woman he barely knew in a relationship.</p><p>Meanwhile, Garrus threw a large plated arm around the Commander’s small shoulders, smiling broadly, “She just can’t keep her hands off me, Doc.”</p><p>“Ew,” Shepard’s face morphed into mock disgust as she shoved Garrus’ arm away. “Don’t flatter yourself, Garrus.”</p><p>The disappointment rapidly shifted to confusion; a blossom of hope made his heartbeat stutter. The realization that he was more than peripherally attracted to the Commander hit him full force. The suddenness of his revelation caused his head to spin, and he mentally checked himself, try to shove the knowledge away to the back of his mind.</p><p><em>Well shit</em>, Kolyat thought to himself. <em>This could be one hell of a distraction</em>.</p><p>As he took in the small human, playfully punching Garrus’ arm, Kolyat felt a small smile lift the conner of his lips. He remembered clearly the look of fierceness she’d displayed when he’d first met her, she’d looked untouchable then. Now, he was witnessing the flickers of openness beneath her heavily guarded walls. It had been a while since he’d had feelings for someone, but the warmth he felt when he thought of his new boss wasn’t unfamiliar.</p><p>These thoughts would need to be addressed later when he didn’t have so many new experiences occurring every moment.</p><p>Maybe when Selene wasn’t around, being . . . distracting.</p><p>“Okay, that is enough,” Dr. Chakwas broke through his musings, her voice sharp with no heat behind it. “Everyone out of my medbay before I call for Samara’s help to remove you.”</p><p>Shepard chuckled as she complied, naturally the two drell and the turian fell into step behind her with a polite goodbye to the doctors.</p><p>As the group maneuvered the short hallway leading away from the medbay, Shepard turned around and leaned against the wall that separated the mess hall from the elevator.</p><p>“Mordin should have just amputated the damn thing and been done with it.”</p><p>“You say the kindest things Commander,” Garrus’ subharmonics caused his words to come out more like a purr as he leaned against the same wall, peering down at her from his towering height. “Would you have really wanted to risk losing your best sniper?”</p><p>Kolyat felt the same pangs of jealousy rise again, but he tampered them down, hoping to not draw the wrong conclusion and overwhelm his thoughts again.</p><p>“Eventually, Garrus, you will be forced to actually prove your wild claims to be true or not,” Thane cut in smoothly. “Rather than continue to spread deceit.”</p><p>There was a thinly veiled declaration of a challenge, which the turian picked up on with glee.</p><p> “Just set the date and time, my misguided friend,” Garrus chuckled.</p><p> “So, Kolyat,” Shepard shifted her gaze to the quiet drell behind his father, effectively shutting up the age-old argument between Garrus and Thane. “Are you ready to test out some weapons today?”</p><p>“Yes, Commander,” Kolyat answered with a sharp nod.</p><p>“Follow me, then. Thane, why don’t you join us? Garrus, go make yourself useful somewhere else.” Shepard waved her dismissal as she sharply turned on her heel.</p><p>“You know,” Garrus called to her retreating back. “If you keep treating me like this, you’re going to lose me Shepard.”</p><p>Selene responded by raising her hand over her shoulder, her middle figure proudly displayed once more. The woman did not break her stride towards the elevator.</p><p>Garrus barked out a laugh as he retreated toward his room, ignoring the pointed looks the few crew members gave one another as they ate their lunch. He could practically <em>feel </em>the new rumors circulating quietly as they used this new interaction to expand their speculations of his and Shepard’s relationship.</p>
<hr/><p>Down in the cargo hold Shepard sat atop several crates as she gestured to the selection of various weapons in front of her new recruit.</p><p>"Alright, Kolyat, pick a weapon. After that, I want you to try and hit every target as quickly as you can. Simple enough?"</p><p>Thane and Grunt stood on either side of her dangling legs as they watched Kolyat peruse the guns in front of him. Grunt watched disapprovingly, wondering for the hundredth time what his battle master saw in the young whelp.</p><p>Kolyat reached for a pistol first, a simple unmodified Carnifex, moderately weighted with a good amount of power behind it. He turned towards the makeshift shooting range that Selene had installed on the ship. She took pride in the makeshift shooting range, and she’d had it preprogramed to respond to her omini tool, allowing her to change the movement of the targets or activate surprise distractions if she wanted.</p><p>Shepard pressed a few buttons on the holo device on her arm, activating several stationary targets which sprang up in front of Kolyat. They appeared several feet away from each other, a test of his basic accuracy.</p><p>"Ready?" Selene asked.</p><p>Kolyat gave a firm nod, raising the pistol up in a steady grip. Selene noted that he was holding the firearm with correct form, and he had switched off the safety before aiming.</p><p>“Begin,” Shepard called down, pressing a button that started a timer above the shooting gallery.</p><p>Kolyat was a relatively good shot with several of the weapons. The pistol, and the assault rifle, were guarantees. Shepard had been impressed by his ability to find his target, both while they were moving and while his vision was obscured by the light and smoke of several mock explosions. Selene began the assault rifle test with the M-96 Mattock, but when Kolyat had excelled with the gun and appeared unfazed by its power, the Commander had instructed Grunt to get her the M-76 Revenant.</p><p>Grunt had chuckled darkly as he returned with the weapon, before pushing it roughly into Kolyat’s hands with clear contempt. Kolyat had ignored the krogan’s attitude as he lined up his shots once more, his sharp eyes focused on the task ahead. He had been unprepared by the massive increase in kick back as he pulled the trigger, missing his first two marks as a result. Regardless, he recovered quickly and finished-off the rest of the targets cleanly, and with decent precision.</p><p>Selene leapt from the crates as the drell finished with his last target. With a few taps on her omini tool the targets disappeared, flying towards a metal crate in front of the table Kolyat had been shooting from. A magnetic pulse carried them carefully to their home, to be repaired and ready for their next use. </p><p>"Nice job,” Selene offered with her arms crossed over her chest. “Looks like you are a natural with the pistol and assault rifle. That Revenant should have knock you on your ass.”</p><p>A large smile bloomed on her face, her eyes alight with approval, “You handled yourself well.”</p><p>Kolyat felt warmth bubble in his chest from the Commander’s praise, relieved to see that he was beginning to handle things better. Thane, at her side, gave his own approving smile. Grunt, on her other side, gave another indignant sniff, before barreling past him to return to where Jack had been throwing her biotics against some training dummies. He seemed completely uninterested in Kolyat’s results.</p><p>Selene ignored the krogan and continued, “Your use of the sniper needs some work. I think between your father, Garrus, Zaeed, Legion, and myself, we might be able to get you up to proficiency fairly quickly.” Shepard paused to think, calculating how she was going to make necessary changes to the training schedule. “Tali and Kasumi will supervisor your further training with the pistol, while Samara, Zaeed and I will monitor your progression with the assault rifle. Thane, Garrus and I will teach you how to use the sniper. Zaeed and Legion can trade off on days that we are unavailable. You will work with everyone when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. That is where you need the most work, along with a steady exercise regimen to build up your endurance and strength. I think Jacob can oversee that. Now, you mentioned some biotic moves you were familiar with, but how comfortable are you with them in a fight?"</p><p>“I have never had to use my powers in a fight before,” Kolyat answered honestly.</p><p>"Ok, you will be working with Miranda, Jack, Samara, and Thane on your biotics. Occasionally, I can stand in for them if I need to. I usually have all my biotic experts work together and teach each other how to master different moves and styles. You are going to want to pay close attention to everyone’s unique talents: Jack can’t be matched for raw power, Samara is the most knowledgeable and experienced, Thane the most innovative, and Miranda is the most controlled. Learn from all of them the same way they learn from each other."</p><p>Shepard finished and gave Kolyat a meaningful stare, conveying the seriousness of her instructions.</p><p>Selene was clearly very proud of her team and believed they were the best at what they did for a reason. Kolyat could not argue with the obvious truth of her feelings, even without having seen any of them in action.  </p><p>Kolyat felt himself stand a little straighter, determined to make a place for himself here.</p><p>"When do we get started?"</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Things Relationships Are Made Of</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, there are a few time jumps in this chapter and switching of perspectives. Everything has been properly labeled for ease of understanding. I hope you enjoy =)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Three weeks later  </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>"Come on kid, move your ass!"</p><p>Kolyat rolled to the side quickly, nearly falling over in the process, to avoid the purple shockwave aimed his way. For the third time.</p><p>He leapt over the last barrier of the obstacle course that Jack had created just for him. The heavily tattooed woman stood across the make-shift battle field, charging her biotics for another attack.</p><p>His mind racing, Kolyat spotted his goal only a few yards away: a red flag sitting innocently atop a four-foot-tall platform. As Jack’s battle cry rang out, signaling her final attack, the drell broke into a sprint. His own biotics could feel the power behind the warp coming his way.</p><p>He tightened his jaw, ducked his head and pushed forward, not breaking stride as he primed his powers to unleash at just the right moment. It was a trick he had picked up from his father and Shepard.</p><p>Using the force of Jack’s biotic attack to his advantage, Kolyat slammed his own biotically charged hand into the oncoming warp. The resulting blast propelled him forward as he unleashed a full body charge towards his target. Kolyat reached the slightly raised platform where the flag was perched, and he flipped forward, attempting to land gracefully onto his feet. Instead, gravity carried his body weight too far forward and caused him to tumble clumsily onto the platform.</p><p>He lay on the dais gasping for air. As Jack looked on, her long-distance attacks temporarily halted, Kolyat triumphantly waved the broken flag in his clenched fist above his head. As he had fallen, he had reached out a desperate hand as a last effort to win the exercise. His unassuming target had been ripped from its home and trampled on impact. Regardless, a victorious grin lit up his face and he punched his prize in the air proudly.</p><p>Another day he hadn’t killed himself in the training course was a good day in his book. Actually, achieving his objective for once was a bonus.</p><p>"Well, he finally got it,” Miranda drawled, her arrogant voice grating against Jack’s nerves as the Cerberus women appeared behind her. “I was wondering how much longer it would take."</p><p>Jack clenched her teeth and set her shoulders back. “It has been twenty days of training. He did a hell of a lot better than some people would. We can’t all be as perfect as you, princess.” <em>Bitch</em>, her tone implied.</p><p>Jack was attempting to make a conscious effort not to verbally obliterate the woman every time they were around each other. It was only because of Shepard that she just managed to hold herself back, but only just.</p><p>While Jack didn’t have any cozy feelings towards Kolyat, her disdain for the Cerberus cheerleader outweighed her aversion of sticking up for him.</p><p>Miranda stood there, spine straight, glossy brown hair styled to perfection, in a black, skintight body suit which contrasted sharply against Jack’s clunky combat boots, ripped denim jeans, and black cropped vest.</p><p>Jack glared at the other woman through her red tinted glasses, the whole wardrobe had been gifted to her from Shepard. The Commander had stumbled upon the outfit while on the Citadel, accompanying Kolyat and Thane on their shopping trip to supply the blue drell with necessities such as new clothes and gear.</p><p>His father had commented that the outfit might suit Jack. Kolyat had seen a glint in Shepard’s eyes before she quickly purchased the clothes.</p><p>As Miranda gave her attire a disgusted look, Jack was swept back into the memory of Shepard gifting her the outfit. Jack had made to refuse the offering immediately, warnings bells sounding in her head. In her world, no one just gave you something without expecting something in return.</p><p>Jack still struggled to accept that Commander Shepard was dramatically different than anyone she’d ever known.</p><p>Selene had simply set the gift down, lifted a challenging brow, before turned sharply on her heel and leaving the hiding hole that Jack had created for herself under engineering.</p><p>Jack had wanted to explode the package with her biotics, wishing to upheave the prickling feelings of shame and loneliness that Shepard’s gift had dredged up. Being alone and reclusive had kept her alive these past twenty-four years, after all.</p><p>Begrudgingly, her curiosity got the better of her. She had shifted closer to the innocently waiting black wrappings on her cot with the same amount of caution one would use when facing down a hungry varren. As she opened the package, guilt and intrigue swirling in her stomach, her hands shook. She could count on a single hand how many gifts she had received in her life from someone she could possibly call a friend. </p><p>When she held the clothing up, she noted with surprise the quality, and the ballistic weaving, of the material. The boots and vest were made from a fine leather, the kind of leather she could never afford. The glasses were imbedded with a targeting software that Jack could control from her omini tool. For a rare moment, the biotic was overwhelmed by how touched she felt by receiving such an extravagant gift.</p><p>Jack wore the outfit to the squad dinner that night, as a way of silently apologizing to Shepard. She had stomped her way over to Commander, taking a seat on the woman’s right. As she sat, the normally mouthy biotic had no idea what to say. So, she responded the only way she knew how.</p><p>“Thanks,” Jack offered gruffly, not expanding on what she meant. Her eyes were unreadable behind the glasses, but Shepard sensed the sincerity in her voice.</p><p>“Don’t mention it,” Shepard murmured, turning back to her meal.</p><p><em>It was as simple as that</em>, Jack thought with wonder.</p><p>As if the bullshit in her room two hours ago had never happened. She respected the hell out of Selene, the woman had accepted Jack for who she was: all of the scars, tattoos and rage. No questions asked.</p><p>Shepard had listened quietly as Jack had opened up about her past with Cerberus; she had been born in a Cerberus facility, as far as she was aware. The purpose of the place, the Teltin facility located on a far-off reaching planet called Pragia, was to enhance biotic potential in humans. Jack had not been the only child raised in the hellish place; there had been others, kidnapped and half starved.</p><p>“The scientists called me Subject Zero,” she’d told Shepard, avoiding her intense gaze. “I was, apparently, the center of their project.” They pushed Jack to unspeakable limits, there were still things she remembered that she might not ever be able to voice. They tortured her frequently, testing her limits both psychologically and physically, through various experiments meant to assess how pain and distress affected biotic abilities.</p><p>“And then, well, they couldn’t really control me anymore,” Jack smirked, though there was no amusement on her young face. “I must have been twelve years old, that was the first time I killed a man.”</p><p>Jack noted that Shepard did not point out how that kill led to her future as a notorious criminal, wanted for piracy, kidnapping, vandalism, and murder.</p><p>Instead, Shepard had questioned Jack about being captured by the Blue Suns, wondering why she hadn’t been able to fend off the mercs.</p><p>“A stupid moment of giving a damn,” Jack had answered cryptically. Jack had appreciated that Selene did not fish for more details after that.</p><p>Now, in a few short minutes, Shepard would be accompanying Jack down to Pragia, back to the Teltin facility where everything had started. Jack wanted to blow the place up, to ensure that it could never be used for evil again, and to hopefully bring closure to her past. She wanted to believe that it was okay to hold on to the hope. She wanted to believe that she could move on from what was done to her. Jack knew that the atrocities inflicted upon her by Cerberus had twisted her into a hateful, paranoid, traumatized person who pushed everyone away who tried to care for her.</p><p>She wanted to move forward, to find a new sense of normalcy. Oddly enough, training the new recruit had been rather rewarding and cathartic in its own way. Jack had secretly taken pride in her new work. The extra two weeks it had taken for the ship to leave the Citadel after receiving impromptu upgrades had seemed to pass quickly.   </p><p>Said recruit was still sprawled out several yards away. Only vaguely aware of the tense exchange between the two women.</p><p>Kolyat could faintly hear their conversation and was reminded with amazement that he’d already been on the Normandy for, almost, a full three weeks. The crew had already pushed him to his limits tenfold, but they also pushed themselves to remain battle ready. Kolyat had grown to respect each and everyone of them, even the few that still treated him with indifference.  </p><p>These people, <em>Shepard’s</em> people, surpassed his abysmal skills into a whole other level of combat readiness he had never thought possible. In retrospect, he didn’t exactly know what the Commander had seen in him, allowing him aboard her ship and her crew. He noted with bitterness that Grunt still tried to remind him of this whenever he could.</p><p>However, any time he let those insecurities creep up on him, or let them cause him any hesitation, his new trainers made him pay for it. Kolyat had never been more exhausted, or in this much physical pain, in his life.</p><p>Regardless, he was glad to be on the Normandy, and his hardened resolve was a testament to Shepard’s daily motivation.</p><p>As Jack let a rather scathing remark about the Cerberus woman’s looks loose, she turned her back and sauntered over to Kolyat. The blue drell was still spread out on the platform, his eyes closed as he basked in the brief bliss of success. Jack flicked a weak biotic pulse at the man’s head, causing him to yelp in surprise and jerk upward.</p><p>“Get up, blue boy,” she snapped. “You can rest when your dead.”</p><p>Kolyat reluctantly complied, having made the mistake once of not moving quickly enough after Jack gave an order. That mistake had sent him to his first trip to the medical bay since his physical. Dr. Chakwas had remarked several times during his short stay that they might have found a successor to Shepard’s capacity for stubbornness and persistence. That was one way to think positively of his penchant for returning to the crew’s punishments.</p><p>Jack had to reluctantly admit she was impressed with the drell’s ability to learn new skills after only a short time on the ship; she suspected it had to do with his perfect memory that made the experiences stick.  </p><p>Miranda had apparently recovered from being insulted, and strode over to Jack’s side, reminding the tattooed woman of her presence.</p><p>"Shepard is coming down,” she said, still clearly vexed. “She told me to take over the drell's training while you wait by the shuttle."</p><p>"Fuck off, I still need to talk with the kid,” Jack snarled. “Go reorganize your closet, or maybe go find that stick shoved up your ass or something."</p><p>Jack ignored Miranda’s disgruntled scoff as the sound of her heeled shoes echoed against the metal out of the training area. Jack continued to stare at Kolyat with a bored expression on her face, not caring if the diva was forced to wait. She observed that the blue drell’s chest was not heaving as heavily as it was two weeks ago, she noticed with some pride that his stamina was already showing some improvement.</p><p>He still had a long way to go before he could keep pace with any of them, but Jack would record the progress in her notes when she returned from the mission. She snorted to herself, amazed at her own transformation on Shepard’s ship. Filling out reports, being responsible and shit, she thought, her past self would kick her own ass if she saw her now.</p><p>Jack dismissed her thoughts as she addressed the waiting drell in front of her.</p><p>"Okay, listen up! <em>Miranda</em> over there,” it truly was a testament to her new self-discipline that the woman’s name slipped out between her gritted teeth instead of something crass, “is going to be taking on the rest of your biotics training for today. Remember, we meet back here tomorrow at 0700 hours. Don't be late, you hear me?"</p><p>Kolyat nodded his head vigorously under her vicious scowl, "Yes, Jack."</p><p>He had also made the mistake early in his training of calling her ma'am. She had punched him in the stomach for that one.</p><p>"Good," Jack's voice softened a fraction. "Look, kid, I know you haven’t been doing this shit for long, but don't let the cheerleader over there take anything away from you."</p><p>Kolyat savored the scraps of Jack’s praise, before the indifferent mask slid back into place. She crossed her arms over her chest and snorted.</p><p>"You're still a little bitch, but you're learning. I expect you to grow a spine and stand up to her. It’s not hard."</p><p>Kolyat hid his smile and tilted his head in respect. She punched his shoulder, nearly leaving behind bruises, in acknowledgment. He was beginning to understand her language: just shut up and do what you’re told.</p><p>Across the room, the doors slid open. The Commander, Grunt and Garrus swept in. Shepard in her full body armor, the N7 logo displayed at the suit’s neck, and a withered strip of white running the length of her right arm. He observed the new gun strapped to her lower back.</p><p>As the trio made their way down the stairs, Kolyat noticed with apprehension the pistol she had shot him with strapped to her hip. It was hard to believe that had only been three weeks ago.</p><p>With her M-76 Revenant beside her M-98 Widow holstered at her back, the Commander managed to look like a one-woman army. With the addition of three other squad mates, Kolyat could imagine their absolute deadliness. Whatever remained in the abandoned facility was about to have their day ruined, to say the least.  </p><p>"Let's get going, Jack,” Commander Shepard called out. “The storm has let up and it shouldn't be starting back up for another four hours."</p><p>As Jack left her student’s side to join the team in the Kodiak, Selene gave Kolyat a nod of acknowledgment. Kolyat returned the nod, fighting the small smile that had been trying to light up his face at seeing her.</p><p>Miranda noticed the nearly lovesick look the boy was giving Selene, and immediately sent a relatively strong biotic pulse his way. The blow to the side of his head knocked him off balance, making him stumble awkwardly to regain his footing. Kolyat turned a furious gaze on Miranda but kept his own scathing comment to himself.</p><p>Kolyat could hear the Commander pulling herself up into the shuttle across the wide-open space of the cargo bay. When he glanced over, she was shaking her head with an amused smile on her lips. Kolyat felt his body heat up in embarrassment. He wondered if he would ever manage to <em>not</em> make a fool of himself in front of Selene, or if he could ever prove himself to the Commander.  </p><p>“Hey, Kolyat!” Shepard called out before he could will the floor to swallow him whole. “Don't let <em>la</em> <em>princesa </em>treat you like that. Kick her ass."</p><p>“Hell yeah!” Jack shouted in agreement from somewhere within the shuttle.</p><p>Selene winked at him, causing a crooked smile to return to his face.</p><p>He watched as the Kodiak lifted off, hovering in the air before disappearing through an opening at the bottom of the ship. He found himself praying to gods he had not acknowledged in years for their safe return. His heart clenched as he thought of one person’s safety in particular, but he shoved that away for another time.</p><p>The ship passed through the mass effect field that kept Kolyat and Miranda safe from the vacuum of space before taking off completely. Kolyat heard the distorted atmospheric pulse of the dark energy coming his way, a loud buzzing that made his body tense, before he saw the angry purple light in his peripheral. He narrowly dodged the charge, and it struck the wall noisily behind him.</p><p>“Will you stop that?” he exclaimed, exasperated.</p><p>Miranda glared at him as she strode over, her heeled boots making a sharp, annoying clicking sound across the metal floor. He winced with every uniform step.</p><p>"I <em>highly</em> suggest you stop fantasizing about your commanding officer and pay more attention to your lesson. Jack may have been afraid to take your training wheels off, but I have no such qualms."</p><p><em>Training wheels</em>? He thought with irritation. In the past twenty days, he had lost count of how many times Jack or Zaeed had caused him to bleed. Miranda herself had been particularly unforgiving as she ran him through form after form. He had just spent the last hour trying to avoid another trip to the medbay while dodging Jack’s biotic attacks.</p><p><em>Training wheels my blue ass, </em>Kolyat grumbled to himself in his head.</p><p>Annoyance, and some apprehension, crawled along his skin at being called out on his admiration of the Commander. However, the dismissal of his hard work was a larger blow to his self-esteem. The remark caused Kolyat to loath the woman even more.</p><p>Kolyat had learned that most of the ground squad, even Joker, seemed to dislike Miranda. Her haughty attitude and superiority complex were enough to put people off, but she seemed to believe that she knew more about the Commander than most.  </p><p>Shepard herself had made it crystal clear that Miranda was a part of the squad just like everyone else, and she trusted her. According to Garrus, Selene had helped the woman with some personal issue involving Miranda’s sister, resulting in Shepard’s own change of heart regarding the Cerberus woman.</p><p>He briefly paused to assess Miranda as she stood before him. Kolyat had seen many of the humans giving her appraising looks from behind. Miranda was physically fit, and her feminine features were exceedingly developed. However, Kolyat couldn’t help but feel there was something annoyingly superficial about her beauty.</p><p>Maybe it was her unattractive personality or cold disposition, but he couldn’t see what others found so alluring about her. His mind shifted back to memories of flowing black hair, pulsing orange scars etched into flawless skin, and piercing silver-green eyes that noticed everything.</p><p>The Commander may not be as developed as Miranda, but she had a strong, attractive figure of her own that Kolyat appreciated. Her chest was smaller than the other woman’s, but her toned stomach and defined muscles flared out into rounded hips and shapely, thick legs decorated with ink. Her strong arms were visibly toned, her right covered in black and gray tattoos, while the other was lightly decorated with smaller works of art. Her skin was smooth despite the network of glowing scars that ran through it, and softly darkened with a brown complexion that was rare for drell.</p><p>Selene also possessed a keen intelligence and sarcastic wit that kept him captivated as well as aggravated. Her kindness and compassion in the face of everything she had experienced was awe-inspiring. As he trained with Jack, and spent more time alone with the biotic, he began to notice how they represented two diverging outcomes that could result from a traumatic childhood and an equally harsh adult life.</p><p>In a short amount of time, Kolyat began to crave those moments of seeing the Commander’s sweet smile. A small smirk or a teasing quirk of the lips that would blossom on her face as she calculated how to outmaneuver him.</p><p>However, he had begun to live for the large, full faced smile that simply lit up the room. That enthralled him from across the room and refused to let him look away, even if he tried. Kolyat had begun to seek out the few moments where Selene dropped the Commander mask long enough to bless those closest to her with one of those smiles.</p><p>Kolyat found that his visits to Dr. Chakwas had gifted him with small snippets of information; he noticed the deep respect, admiration, and love the doctor felt for her young Commander. It was clear there was an intimate mother-daughter relationship that had developed between them over time.</p><p>He cataloged each and every memory as he pieced together an image of who the Commander might be under the mask.</p><p>As Kolyat was forced back into the present moment with his training, his last thoughts were of silver-green eyes and a dazzling smile.</p><p>Kolyat kept a prayer in his heart and half his attention on the shuttle exit as he followed the motions of Miranda’s fierce and intense training. The aches and bruises he received were worth his split focus.</p><p>A full two hours would pass before the ground team made their return.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Two hours later</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Jack slammed herself down on top of her cot, her teeth grinding against one another in distress as she replayed the last two hours in her mind.</p><p>
  <em>“We’re not supposed to find anything other than local fauna in the facility,” Shepard’s voice rang out in that commanding way over their team. “Maybe some forgotten defense systems that we need to be careful not to trigger. But,” She had added sharply as rain poured down her helmet, “Be prepared for anything.” </em>
</p><p>The warning had been accurate, considering everything turned into a shit-show shortly after the morgue.</p><p>Jack could see Shepard in her head, strong and capable as a surprise attack from Blood Pack mercenaries showered them in open fire. The commander had taken several shots to the chest, which managed to bring down her barriers and pierce her armor.</p><p>Selene had returned to the ship missing the top portion of her armor after shedding herself of it in the Kodiak. Her white tank-top underneath soaked with grisly splatters of dried blood.</p><p>Jack had seen Selene out of the corner of her eye, the stark whiteness of her top and the dark crimson of the drying blood standing out against her skin. Regardless of the damage, Shepard had ignored the wound and had turned concerned eyes on herself. As much as Jack appreciated the caring, she also resented it. The biotic took the first opportunity to flee from the woman’s empathetic stare as they exited the Kodiak, calling over her shoulder to not expect her at dinner. Jack had retreated to her isolated space under engineering, wrestling with her conflicting emotions.</p><p>
  <em>“Let him go, Jack,” Selene’s voice had been calm and steady. Jack had barely been able to hear her own thoughts under the sound of her own rushing blood; fury painted her vision red and her heart demanded to be released from her chest. The man that called himself Aresh blinked up at her, the lines of his face more pronounced against his tortured expression. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We protected you,” he had choked out. “You, Subject Zero, you were meant to be remarkable, while the rest of us were used as sacrifices for your safety.” </em>
</p><p><em>All the children they had kidnapped and pitted against her. They had been used as test subjects, in order to ensure she didn’t die in the same tests? It was impossible. She had been the strongest. She had survived. </em>No one<em> had suffered more than her. </em></p><p>
  <em>Right? A tiny voice in her head whispered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was what she had told herself all these years. Now this man on his knees on the dirty floor of her old cell was shattering everything. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We protected you,” he tried again, voice stronger. “Our lives and suffering made sure that the tests didn’t kill you. I have every right to start this place up again. My suffering needs to mean something!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Shut the fuck up,” she snarled, shoving her pistol further into the skin of his face. A bead of sweat trickled down his hairline and landed on the barrel. The selfish part of her nearly broke, and her finger twitch against the trigger, barely managing not to let the shot fire.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She thought she had been strong, she thought she had outlasted those other children outside her cage. She had thought she had freed herself from this place. But it wasn’t true. She could deny it all she wanted, but Jack was not foolish. She knew Aresh was telling the truth.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Jack. He is broken. Killing him is not going to take away the pain,” Selene’s voice in her ear was distant, floating out of the ether of the chaotic whirlwind in her mind. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shepard wanted her to show him mercy? Jack hesitated. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We can still destroy it. All of it, he will never be able to rebuild this place,” Selene reached out, gritting her teeth against the pain in her shoulder and chest. She slowly tried to inch her hand towards the gun Jack still held to Aresh’s head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>More kids, more kidnapping, more bloodshed, her mind whispered. She wouldn’t let that happen!</em>
</p><p><em>“This</em>—<em>killing him</em>—<em>it won’t fix you.” Selene continued, finally skimming her figure tips against the pistol, only to have the weapon swung quickly towards her. </em></p><p>
  <em>“Shut up, Shepard!” Jack ground out between clenched teeth. Tears streaked past the cover of the biotics glasses, and Shepard intimately understood Jack’s deep turmoil.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Commander backed away slowly, holding her hands peacefully in front of her. She was confident Jack would not shoot her, but she also knew when to back off from a wounded animal. Jack needed to work out this decision on her own. Shepard just hoped she made the right one. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>With deep pain etched into her face, Jack returned her gaze to the half-crazed man still on the floor. After a few heart-stopping moments, the woman reached out and pistol whipped Aresh so hard across the face that he fell over. She felt, rather than saw, Selene release a breath she had been holding. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As the shaking man recollected himself, Jack growled over him, “I never want to hear your name again. If you even think about starting this place over somewhere else, I will hunt you down and make you wish you never survived this place.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The man scrambled to his feet and tripped over himself several times before rushing out the door. </em>
</p><p>Despite her decision, Jack was no more at peace with her choice then she was back on the planet. The woman angerly jumped up from her cot and went to the nearest blunt object and threw it at the wall with a cry of anguish. It didn’t stop there, within moments everything in her hole lie around her in a broken mess. She sat down heavily on her bed, not feeling even slightly better. All of those lives lost, and left to a miserable existence before that, <em>because</em> of her.</p><p>
  <em>“This is where I used to . . . stay,” Jack told Selene lamely, kicking the door to the cramped room sharply. “Sometimes, I never really knew whether it was day, night, or how many hours had passed before I saw any form of life again. When I did they . . .  experimented and—” </em>
</p><p><em>Selene followed Jack around the room, managing not to hover. Jack appreciated the stoicism of Shepard’s face, she might nearly explode if she had seen her Commanding officer look at her with a look of pity or sympathy. She described in a flat voice what she had endured in these hallowed halls</em>. <em>Reliving everything for the first time since she’d escaped</em>.</p><p>
  <em>As Jack ended her tour of the room, she abruptly informed Shepard she wished to leave. No longer could she stand the feeling of the place. It was as if the very air left a heavy coating of filth on her skin that she could no longer handle. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She would make the facility go up in flames the same way they had created an inferno in their victims’ lives. A deep, soulful part of her promised to do this for everyone whose lives the Cerberus facility had destroyed—those kids, their families, herself . . . </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“This is your choice, Jack,” Shepard murmured at her side. Not in front of her, not behind her, but always at her side. “This is your past. If you want to wipe this place from existence, none of us here will stop you.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She knew she would never be able to repay Shepard for arranging this mission for her; all she had to give was herself, and her loyalty to this team. The team split up and set up the explosives around the abandoned building, the ones that Garrus and Grunt had carried on their backs. As the group departed, Selene pressed a detonator in her hand, looking into her eyes for a short, meaningful moment. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As the Kodiak put enough distance between themselves and the blast radius, Jack toyed with the detonator switch absentmindedly, before giving Shepard a curt nod. Selene knocked her fist against the pilot’s door to signal a warning for turbulence. </em>
</p><p><em>The explosion was massive</em>. <em>Even from their incredible distance, the shuttle rumbled violently before stabilizing. Jack took one look back at the flaming pile of rubble, wondering if she could finally move on from a past that constantly whispered to her</em>.</p><p>
  <em>“Thanks, Shepard,” she had told her Commander levelly, conveniently ignoring Selene’s concerned look in return. </em>
</p><p>Jack lay back on her cot, ignoring the destruction she had caused to her own things. Dozens of times she replayed the afternoon. She held up a tattooed hand to the light and wondered, not for the first time, what lay ahead in her future and if she had made the right choice.</p><p>The soft ding of metal-on-metal alerted the troubled woman to someone coming down the stairs to her rooms. Before Jack could yell for Shepard to fuck off and leave her alone, the sound of an unexpected voice gave her pause.</p><p>“Jack? Don’t turn me into a pile of broken bones please. I just want to see how your doing?” Garrus’ trilling voice spoke from the last landing before reaching the bottom of the stairs. The man was not foolish enough to reveal himself fully to the unpredictable biotic.</p><p>The turian had never visited her before without Shepard. Though he had been the one to teach her how to calibrate her glasses, the two of them had never really spoken outside of training or missions. The surprise of hearing anyone other then Shepard’s voice at the stairs, requesting to see how she was feeling, was quite a shock. As a result, Jack did not immediately hurl insults or shout at him to leave.</p><p>Garrus bravely took that as a sign to move further into her domain. The network of ducts and vents that made up the ceiling barely allowed him to stand at his full height. He actually had to duck under a particularly large pipe in order step around the corner that revealed her “bedroom,” which currently looked like a bomb went off around her cot.</p><p>In true Garrus fashion, the turian did not address the mess directly, instead he commented with sarcasm: “I love what you have done with the place.”</p><p>That earned him an unamused glare from the woman, “What do you want Garrus?”</p><p>“I told you. I wanted to see if you were okay. Shepard is pretty worried.”</p><p>Garrus sat himself against the sturdy table across from the small biotic. His mandibles pulling close to his face as blue eyes assessed her face.</p><p>“It was rough down there. Feel like talking?”</p><p>“No.” Jack’s clipped tone left little room for argument.</p><p>“Well, maybe you will settle for some company.” The turian stubbornly crossed his still armored arms over his chest. The man was still filthy from the mission.</p><p>“Get. Out.”</p><p>Jack’s hands began to glow purple in warning.</p><p>“Don’t do this, Jack. Don’t shut everyone out because of what they did to you. I know Shepard’s suggestions are hard to follow sometimes, but trust me, she is usually right.”</p><p>“You have no idea what it was like to hear those things. To be told that your existence came at the expense of other innocent lives.” The glow from Jack’s hands disappeared, and her energy to fight went along with it.</p><p>“I thought I survived because I was strong. I thought I freed myself. I thought the world had what was coming to it because no one ever looked out for me. Now, I don’t even know who I am anymore.”</p><p>“You are Jack.” He said simply. “Frightening, badass, all powerful biotic who chose to risk her life for a galaxy that is too stupid to recognize its own demise.”</p><p>Before Jack could form a retort, Garrus continued, “You might have done some horrible things in the past, Jack, but horrible things were also done to you. I am not absolving you of responsibility, but no one here can pass judgment on you for your crimes without looking at themselves first. And as for what was done to you, no one walks away from that without being strong.”</p><p>Jack lifted her eyes from the floor and gave Garrus his first hostile-free stare since entering her space.</p><p>“Why are you telling me this shit? Why do you care?”</p><p>Garrus held Jack’s gaze unfaltering, even though he himself didn’t fully understand what had led him down here. Usually it was Shepard who handled these things.</p><p>“I suppose, because I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of Shepard telling me not to take the life of someone who I really believed deserved it. She has a way of getting in your head and making you doubt your own convictions.” Garrus gave a humorless huff of laughter. “You feel rage at first, but then you know she made the right choice for you, and somehow, it was still your choice in the end.”</p><p>Jack nodded slightly, understanding the moment he was talking about. She appreciated that he hadn’t come down to tell her he understood her pain or that everything would be okay in the end, or some equally cliché bullshit. Garrus was honest about the things he knew and only offered what he could give. It was oddly comforting. She could see why Shepard considered him her best friend.</p><p>“So, how long have you been in love with her?” Jack asked quietly.</p><p>Garrus gave an audible click of his mandibles, his body tensing at the unexpected question. Before he could protest however, Jack leveled him with a challenging, knowing look. </p><p>The turian gave a defeated huff before answering, “Somewhere half way through our mission to find Saren. She had helped me track down a black-market organ dealer named Dr. Saleon and convinced me not to kill the man.”</p><p>Jack hummed, making the connection between his confession and the reason why he was here.</p><p>“Are you ever going to tell her?”</p><p>“No, it is clear she’ll never see me as more than just her loyal friend Garrus, and I’m okay with that. Besides, I have my suspicions she already has her attention on someone else.”</p><p>“The blue drell. Yeah, I noticed it too,” Jack snorted. </p><p>Garrus nodded sagely, only a small hint of solemness evident. Jack had to admit, the man was good at hiding his feelings. However, the admiration in the way he spoke about Shepard was just a hint too much to just be friendship.</p><p>“You know, she might be into you if you just told her how you felt.”</p><p>Garrus was an attractive turian, even with the additional scars to his face. Jack wasn’t sure why he would conceal his feelings from the woman. </p><p>“It’s alright, really. There are only so many times a man can hear he is like the brother she never had before he loses hope at anything else. I value her friendship too much to lose it, and I honestly just want to see her happy. I can’t think of anyone else who deserves it more than her.”</p><p>“You don’t deserve happiness?” Jack surprised herself with her soft question. The whole encounter between the two of them had been strange and unfamiliar already. But Garrus was admittedly easy to speak to, and she would be lying if she hadn’t been asking the question in reflection of her own future.</p><p>The turian had no reply for her, but he some how saw the underlining questioning and supplied an honest response, “I don’t know if everyone deserves happiness. I think it’s something that just finds us and we just have to be quick enough to embrace it.”</p><p>The two continued to speak. Jack found herself opening up to the large turian the longer he stayed. The knowledge that maybe Shepard wasn’t the only person on the ship she could trust with her secrets was strange, but possibly worth exploring.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Fifteen minutes earlier </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Kolyat stopped mid push-up, aching to check on the injured Commander as the team returned from their mission. He knew that he could get into major trouble for addressing Shepard without asking permission from his trainer, but he found himself not caring.</p><p>The blue drell watched as the commander spoke quietly with Garrus and Grunt by the shuttle, giving little attention to her battered armor. As Shepard thanked the pilot, Garrus and Grunt strode away with grim looks on their faces. Her own expression appeared troubled, and solemn, as she leaned against the unloaded crates before she schooled herself into something more neutral.</p><p>Jacob, his instructor, had unfortunately caught on to his trainee’s distraction rather quickly. The large, dark-skinned man rose to his feet, springing from his own sit-ups with surprising nimbleness for his size. He moved behind Kolyat and pressed a heavy boot to his back, pushing him to the ground with ease.  </p><p>"Come on, kid,” Jacob sighed. “Get your head on straight. Fifty more push-ups, count them out."</p><p>Kolyat ground his teeth in annoyance as he resumed his push-ups, struggling under the added weight of his instructor’s boot. He had already completed well over one hundred push-ups, eighty pull-ups, three hundred sit-ups, and two hundred leg lifts.</p><p>Prior to the strength training, Kolyat had run two miles on the treadmill. He had narrowly beaten his own record of fifteen minutes and fifty-two seconds, but before he could get too excited, Jacob had moved onto the next set of torturous exercises.</p><p>As Kolyat strained against Jacob’s added weight, he saw Garrus return, still covered in orange blood that obviously didn’t belong to him. Garrus and Selene chatted lightly, too low for him to hear.</p><p>He attempted to clear his mind and focused his entire being on his burning muscles, nearly passing out from exhaustion when he reached fifty. He held himself firm in a ready position, as he had been taught to do, and Jacob blessedly lifted his boot from his back.</p><p>As Jacob went over what Kolyat had been improving on, subtly jabbing in the things he needed to work on also, his eyes wandered across the room once more.</p><p>Garrus was gripping one of Selene’s shoulders in a large, clawed hand as he spoke to her in a comforting voice. He appeared to be trying to lift the Commander’s spirits, judging from the dull look in her eyes as she stared at his chest.</p><p>Kolyat found himself wishing he could swap places with the turian.</p><p>“Kolyat!” Jacob’s clipped shout reverberated in the large space, attracting the attention of everyone in the room. Arguably, attracting the attention of everyone in the <em>galaxy</em>.</p><p>Internally, Kolyat cringed at having been caught not paying attention. Again. He trained his eyes on the ground, keeping his mouth shut, and anticipated what his punishment would be with steely resolve. His insides turned at having Selene here to see what a spectacular lecture Jacob might give.   </p><p>“If you can’t listen to feedback here, what makes you think you are ever going to be ready to work out in the field? Up on the bars. Now!” Jacob barked.</p><p>Kolyat immediately responded, fearing what might happen if he delayed even a second, jumping to his feet and rushing over to the high bars behind him. Jacob instructed him to perform hanging crunches from the tallest beam, only stopping when the human gave him permission to do so.</p><p>Kolyat took his punishment without complaint.</p><p>Soft, melodic laughter drifted over from where the Commander and Garrus stood. Though he refused to be distracted again, he felt his neck burn with color.</p><p>Selene smiled at the scene before her; Shepard was beyond pleased with Kolyat’s improvement and integration with the team. The only consistent problem he appeared to have was his drifting focus and attention span.</p><p>She allowed Jacob the space to tighten and curb some of Kolyat’s negative habits, and she left him to continue his lesson even as the scheduled time limit came and went. Five minutes longer would not kill Kolyat, she thought, leading Garrus up the stairs and out of the cargo bay. As the turian rode the elevator to the top and dropped Shepard off at her cabin, he pressed the button that would return him to engineering.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>One hour later </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Shepard emerged from the elevator onto the crew deck later, freshly showered, wearing a clean N7 top tucked into a pair of tactical pants. As she rounded the corner, her boots stopped short of the mess hall tables as she surveyed the crowded space. Most of the team was milling around, talking as they waited for dinner to be ready.</p><p>The ground team knew that dinner had to be taken as a squad every night. They were free to take their breakfast and lunch when they wanted, but evening meals had to be eaten together. She believed if they were good enough to fight and die together, they were good enough to eat together. Bringing the squad together like this encouraged tighter bonds, regardless of their resistance.</p><p>She scanned the room, noticing immediately two distinctive figures missing.</p><p>“Where is Kolyat and Jacob?” she addressed the room, drawing everyone’s attention.</p><p>“Last time I saw them, they were still in the cargo bay, Commander. Jacob had Kolyat preforming suicide runs,” Tali called out softly.</p><p>“<em>¡Ay, dios mío!</em>” Shepard hissed, nearly growling. She spun on her heal and took off to the cargo bay.</p><p>“Should we, um, warn Jacob about what’s coming his way?” Kasumi asked the room.</p><p>It was Zaeed who answered, “Nah, let the man suffer the consequences. He knows better.”</p><p>The rest of the room nodded in agreement as they turned back to their conversations. All of them expecting a late arrival from the trio down in the cargo bay.</p><p>Selene darted out of the elevator before the doors had fully opened. Her angry stride did not break as she made her way down the stairs two at a time. Her body vibrated with tightly coiled, angry energy.</p><p>Kolyat walked at a slow pace on the treadmill, his shoulders visibly slumped around him. Jacob sat perched on a chair near the machine, packed and ready to leave. Jacob had kept Kolyat almost a full hour over his scheduled time.</p><p>Jacob knew the rules, crewmembers could only go over seven minutes of training. Five minutes strictly for finishing an exercising and two minutes for cooling down.</p><p>Kolyat’s carefully scheduled training regimen had been hand crafted by Selene, to ensure he didn’t completely injure himself. She expected her crew to listen to her orders and to trust her knowledge about her team member’s boundaries.  </p><p>With a pang of regret, she realized Kolyat had been down in the cargo bay with four different instructors for six hours. His father had worked with him for two hours on hand-to-hand combat before the younger drell’s lesson with Jack.</p><p>“Hey, Shepard,” Jacob called out, oblivious to her anger. “We were just about to finish up here. Sorry for being late to dinner-- the kid here needed an extra lesson on listening to orders and focusing.”</p><p>The drell kept his eyes forward, not even twitching at the sound of Shepard’s entrance, possibly fearing he would never be allowed to leave the cargo bay again if he halted the exercise.</p><p>“Mr. Taylor,” Shepard snapped. “Would you care to explain to me why you have exceeded Mr. Krios’ training schedule by . . .” Shepard made a show of checking her omini tool’s clock. “fifty-eight minutes? When you know <em>full well </em>his training is not to exceed seven minutes over the allotted time?”</p><p>Jacob’s brow scrunched together, swallowing hard under her fierce glare, but he crossed his arms in a show of defiance.</p><p>"He was caught not paying attention <em>twice</em>. He needed to be taught a lesson that there are consequences to not listening."</p><p>The man failed to realize is that he had blatantly disobeyed his own CO’s orders. Naturally, there should be consequences for that as well.</p><p> “I hope the power play was worth it, Taylor, because your officially on mess cleanup for the next four weeks,” Shepard’s voice lowered the temperature in the room significantly. “You will be spending the night cycle cleaning every pot, pan, bowl and plate after dinner. By hand. With Mess Sargent Gardner supervising.”</p><p> “Commander, are you serious? I was doing my job – “</p><p>“You unnecessarily extended a punishment towards a new recruit for failing to follow orders, Taylor!” Shepard roared, taking one intimidating step forward. “And <em>still</em>, you appear to have forgotten how to follow orders yourself. I am the commanding officer on this ship, and I determine the duration of each training session down to the last minute.” She felt no guilt in pulling rank with the former Alliance solider. “Kolyat has been down here for six hours straight because <em>you</em> decided he needed a lesson on how to listen. I believe you need the same.”</p><p>Shepard’s voice became gradually lower and more level until she sounded disturbingly calm. Kolyat had heard her shout like this only once during his short time on the ship: when Grunt had turned a simple sparing match with his father into a full on varren fight.</p><p>Grunt had charged Thane, unable to determine between friend or foe in his blood lust, sending his father to the floor with a sickening crack. Thane had attempted to shield himself from the onslaught of Grunt’s fists, the full force of the Krogan’s 500-pound weight on his face, neck and chest, only the thin veil of Thane’s biotics protecting him. The green drell suffered a harsh beating before Shepard’s own biotics had flared to life, catapulting Grunt backward like a tossed sack of vegetables.  </p><p>Selene had appeared nearly inconsolable after releasing her fury on Grunt, exploding over the fact that Grunt had been unable to control his own blood frenzy. Nearly killing Thane in the process had something to do with it also, Kolyat knew. He had almost flown into a rage himself at the sight of his father’s abused form afterwards. It was a testament to the assassin’s strength that he managed to walk himself to the medical bay.</p><p>Grunt had of course apologized for his mistake and had taken his own punishment stoically.   </p><p>“Kolyat, get off there,” she called out to him wearily. “Get some water and rest for a second. I want to speak to you before we get to dinner.”</p><p>The blue drell pointedly averted his gaze from Shepard as he slumped into a nearby chair, tuning out her tirade until she curtly dismissed Jacob to dinner. His attention was more focused on the sweet, blissful taste of the water he was currently chugging.</p><p>Shepard knelt on the ground in front of Kolyat, her voice softened with concern. “Hey, slow down. You’re going to make yourself sick,” she chastised him as she watched him hungrily swallow large gulps of water. Her hand closed around his on the water bottle. “Are you okay?”</p><p>His brain nearly short circuited from the skin-to-skin contact, but she had already moved her hand away by the time he had capped the bottle. Part of him thought with embarrassment that he could have laid sprawled on the mat, dazed, exhausted and daydreaming about the softness of her skin.</p><p>“Sorry, Commander,” he said with a rough shake of his head. “I’m fine, really. I hope you do not take offense, but why were you so hard on Jacob?”</p><p>“I was angry because this is not the first time Mr. Taylor has conveniently made excuses to get around my orders, and it won’t be the last. Like Miranda, he seems to conveniently forget that this is not the Illusive Man’s ship anymore.”</p><p>The bitterness in Shepard’s voice was evident. He nearly swallowed his words, but he forced himself to trudge forward instead. His curiosity giving him courage.  </p><p>“The Illusive Man is the head of Cerberus and the one who organized your resurrection, right?”</p><p>“Unfortunately,” Shepard answered flatly. An honest answer, but an easily conveyed dismissal.</p><p> Desperately looking for a new subject change, his eyes immediately latched onto something that had completely diverted his attention.</p><p>“You have another tattoo on your neck. How have I never seen that?” he observed dumbly, blinking in surprise.</p><p>Her left hand involuntarily—a bit self-consciously— rubbed the side of her neck.  </p><p>“I got it recently,” she laughed softly. “It’s sentimental, really. Jack did it for me.”</p><p>Without thinking, specifically about self-preservation, he moved forward and brushed a section of Selene’s long black hair from her neck. The Commander noticeably stiffened but did not shove him away; there was something oddly intimate, and enthralling, about his hand in her hair.</p><p>The tattoo was only three inches long, black and gray, a rectangular shape with rounded edges. In small, beveled writing was the words: <em>Shepard, Selene R</em>. Above the name were a series of numbers. The skin was pink against her darker skin, slightly angry from the healing process. He was tempted to reach out and ghost his fingers over the soft skin of her neck.</p><p>Selene fought to remind herself of Kolyat’s lack of understanding when it came to human personal space. Though, his father didn’t seem to have an issue with it. Her natural instinct told her to bend his hand painfully away from her at the suddenness of his touch. However, she realized that it had been a long time since someone had taken this much care in touching her. Most of her physical interaction with people revolved around violence. It was <em>nice</em> to just feel someone else’s skin against her own.</p><p>She was enjoying the feel of his hand in her hair, the coolness of his scales against her over heated skin as they brushed with feather lightness over the healing skin. She shivered involuntarily, and cleared her throat.</p><p>“So, can you tell what it is?”</p><p>Kolyat hummed in thought, his sub harmonics similar to Garrus’ as the vibrations expanded outward at a different frequency that she had never noticed until she had been resurrected. The result was a pleasant resonation deep in her own chest that soothed her immediately. A pleasant sound that cocooned her in its richness.</p><p>"I honestly have no clue," he deadpanned. She laughed quietly; his hand still coiled in the silky strands of her hair. His lips quirked into a small smile, but his heart nearly leapt into his throat.</p><p>"It’s my dog tags from when I served in the Alliance. The originals were lost when the ship was destroyed."</p><p>Kolyat cringed inwardly. It had been his intention to revert her mind away from her death and her unfortunate position with Cerberus. Quickly, he shifted the topic to her other works of art, not wishing for their interaction to end.</p><p>He reached out, feeling bold, and brushed his bruised knuckles over her right arm.</p><p>“What about these ones?”</p><p>“They are from different times in my life. A couple from before the military, many from during my service. I completed the whole thing after N7 training. Had to keep moving down to my legs. I started a few on the other arm, but I kind of like the imbalance.”</p><p>“Is it common for humans to decorate their skin with tattoos?”</p><p>“Depends,” Shepard shrugged. “Some find it to be taboo or ugly. Others can’t really sit through the pain. It’s more widely accepted now than when we first began to enter galactic space. My CO’s never really cared how I chose to decorate my body.”</p><p>Kolyat hummed in fascination, finally letting his hands fall limply to his sides.</p><p>Selene chose to ignore how she missed the skin contact and peered at him as if nothing happened. As if they hadn’t just had . . .  <em>a moment</em>.</p><p>“Drell scales are particularly difficult to penetrate,” Kolyat murmured. “Our annual shedding makes it so any tattoos we do receive must be reapplied. We are taught in our history that tattooing was ritualistic in the past, and seasonally performed.” Kolyat absentmindedly stroked a pair of silver bars impaled through the left side of the scaled ridges that made up his high cheeks. “Some choose to have themselves tattooed for the aesthetic, like piercings.”</p><p>Jack had performed the service for him as well, promising that the silver bars would make his stupid face look badass.</p><p>Time seemed to halt as they continued their quiet conversation. Broaching their different racial customs with each other openly and without judgment. In their enjoyment, they completely lost track of time. The doors of the elevator whooshed open as Shepard’s laugh echoed throughout the empty cargo bay. Kolyat had just finished a story about a memorably irate mother bird who had chased him around the beach after he had foolishly taken one of her eggs. The bird was remarkably quick as she snapped her beak at him, squawking her anger as Kolyat screamed for his own mother’s help.</p><p>Thane strode out of the elevator in all of his stoic grace, finding Kolyat and Selene talking to each other with the ease of people who had known each other for years. He noticed, with concealed amusement, the lack of distance between them.</p><p>As he made his way down the stairs, neither seemed to be aware of his presence, even once he stood only a couple yards from them.</p><p>“My apologies for interrupting, Commander,” Thane took a small amount of satisfaction in seeing Kolyat and Selene leap away from each other as if they’d been caught doing something particularly bad. Instead of commenting on the overreaction, he continued. “The crew is concerned that we might not be allowed to eat anytime soon. Grunt refuses to allow any of us to start without you.”</p><p>Thane’s lips quirked into a half smile as Selene’s cheeks turned pink and Kolyat’s neck brightened, each maintaining a wide berth of each other as they stood.</p><p>“It has already been sometime since Mr. Taylor joined us,” he finished, ignoring the obvious tension in the cargo bay, his hands folded neatly behind his back.</p><p>“Excuse me, Commander,” Miranda called out haughtily from the stairs before Shepard could say anything. “Are you almost finished with the new recruit down here? The crew is starving.”</p><p>Kolyat wondered in amusement how she managed to make <em>new recruit</em> sound akin to skin disease, or foot fungus.</p><p>Thane’s eyes closed briefly in irritation. Apparently, the four minutes it had taken him to reach the cargo bay was too long for the Cerberus operative.</p><p>
  <em>Why had she not come herself if she was just going to follow him down here? </em>
</p><p>However, perhaps it was better he had interrupted what had been an intimate moment between his son and the Commander. One that could have been completely ruined by the rude woman above them. Thane was not aware that Miranda already had her suspicions about Kolyat’s affections towards the Commander.</p><p>As Thane turned towards the obnoxious woman, he could see the confused and almost disgusted look on her face. The older drell narrowed his eyes, taking offense to the expression she held. As if she could not imagine why Selene would wish to spend more time then she had to in the presence of his son.</p><p>It was still unclear to him if Miranda was truly xenophobic, having witnessed the ease at which she spoke to Mordin and Samara, and the few nonhuman associates she kept during the mission to save her sister. However, the woman made it clear she did not particularly like some of the other nonhuman team members, and she particularly seemed to take a disliking towards Kolyat. Regardless, Thane kept a watchful eye on her, not trusting her despite Shepard’s feelings on the matter.</p><p>“We were just about to come up,” Selene answered as she led the two drell up to the elevators. Miranda stood just outside the open doors with her hands on her hips. “I had to discuss some training details with Kolyat,” she supplied coolly, her expression now giving nothing away. “I also needed to explain why Jacob will now be Gardner’s new dishwasher for the next month.”</p><p>That was all Selene offered as an explanation and Kolyat was certainly not going to supply more. He could feel his father’s eyes shift towards him curiously, not being fooled by the story the Commander had just given Miranda. Kolyat ignored him in favor of looking straight ahead.</p><p>"I think we have kept everyone waiting long enough,” Thane offered. “Perhaps it is time to head up to the mess hall?”</p><p>Shepard shifted her steely gaze from Miranda to Thane, amusement flickering in the depths of her silver-green gaze. While he spoke the polite question, it was obviously a statement.</p><p>An awkward silence descended on the group as they traveled up to the mess hall floor.</p><p>“Finally,” Jack groaned as the Commander strode around the corner. “Let’s eat."</p><p>The Commander’s face lit up as she took her seat. The biotic had decided to join them for dinner after all. Selene ideally wondered what had changed the woman’s mind, but felt it was best to not pry, and just be thankful Jack had not secluded herself from the team.</p><p>As Jack unceremoniously dug into her meal, Grunt and Garrus next to her waited patiently for Shepard to take her customary seat at the head of their table. Two seats had been left empty for the father and son pair as well; Thane subtly left the seat next to Shepard open for Kolyat to take.</p><p>Garrus gave the young drell across from him a smirk, a mischievous glint made his eyes light up. Kolyat shifted nervously.</p><p>"So, what were you two doing down there?” Garrus questioned with glee. “More punishment for the kid?"</p><p>“Kolyat has received enough punishment for one day,” Shepard deflected the question. “I’m cutting your training in half tomorrow, Kolyat. I want you taking the rest of the day to rest. Maybe you can brush up on some recordings we’ve taken of our fights with the collectors. Your father and Garrus here can explain how we work together on the field and point out some weaknesses in the Collector defense.”</p><p>The rest of the dinner carried on like it usually did, with light chatter and the occasional loud banter. The crew jabbed and catcalled at Jacob as Garrus happily announced his new demoted position to the crew. Garrus took it upon himself to toss an apron at the man from the side of Gardner’s station.</p><p>Jacob took the ribbing in surprisingly good nature, looking properly humbled.</p><p>As he went around collecting the team’s dishes, some whistled and sent credits his way, playfully tipping him for his work. As he stopped in front of Shepard, he stumbled through an apology.</p><p>“I am sorry for disobeying orders, Commander, and questioning you when my insubordination was pointed out. I assure you it will not happen again.”</p><p>Selene gave him a stern nod before pointing to the blue drell beside her. “I’m not the only one you need to apologize to Taylor.”</p><p>The darker skinned human found it increasingly more difficult to sound sincere as he gave a weak apology to the younger drell. Kolyat nodded his head in acceptance, anyway, not having been bothered by the punishment to begin with.</p><p>Shepard’s orders were clear, and he was happy he had not been on the receiving end of her anger.</p><p>Before Jack could disappear, Kolyat watched the Commander jog after her, quietly asking to speak with her in private. The biotic gave an uncharacteristic nervous nod, but there was a flash of appreciation in her eyes as she led Selene to the elevators.</p><p>As Kolyat returned his gaze to the group in front of him, he was startled to find Zaeed’s mixed-match eyes narrowed at him in suspicion. Grunt was giving him a similar look, though he was used to that look, but his father and Garrus appeared mildly amused.</p><p>Kolyat shifted nervously, his scales itching under the penetrating stares. He abruptly leapt to his feet, nearly banging his knee on the table as he did so, declaring he was going to bed.</p><p>The blue drell practically ran from the room.</p><p>"Your boy is a jumpy little lizard, Krios." Zaeed's observed in a heavily accented voice, his eyes stayed trained on where Kolyat had disappeared around the corner. "Be sure he doesn't do anything stupid that might cause him to be accidentally launched out one of the air locks."</p><p>Thane took the thinly veiled threat as a courtesy warning.</p><p>“Touch my son, Mr. Massani, and you might find yourself accidentally launched out of one of the air locks,” Thane responded coolly. “Kolyat is not some disrespectful boy trying to deceive Selene. He would never do something untoward, and I suggest you keep your poor excuse of a threat to yourself.”</p><p>Shepard was perfectly capable of fending off any unwanted advances from people herself, but it was clear that everyone at the table felt a degree of protectiveness for their friend. Unfortunately, that hostility was being directed at the most important person in Thane’s life.</p><p>The tall drell stood slowly from his seat, and Zaeed copied his movements. Grunt and Garrus stood quickly, ready to break up a fight if things became aggressive. Jacob and Gardner behind the counter made a good showing of ignoring the group, but kept their ears trained intently.</p><p>"Alright Krios,” Zaeed smirked. “I won’t touch your precious baby boy. But if he does something to upset her or to hurt her, his ass is mine."</p><p>"If Kolyat does anything of the sort, rest assured that you will not be the only one after him."</p><p>Seeming satisfied, Zaeed nodded sharply, and turned to head to bed, Grunt following behind.</p><p>“Well, that could have gone worse,” Garrus’ sarcasm did not help alleviate Thane’s mild anxiety over Zaeed’s words.</p><p>Thane bid the remaining occupants of the mess hall goodnight and made his way to life support. He paused in this doorway, taking in his son's disheveled form on his cot. His long limbs were sprawled out, the blankets pushed to the floor as he lightly snored into the open space.</p><p>An image of Kolyat in the same position, only five years old, rose unbidden to the surface of his mind.</p><p>He lifted the blanket from the floor, and properly draped it over the younger man. Thane bent over to press a light kiss to the boy’s forehead, before turning to his own cot on the other side of the room. As he dressed for bed, he said a short prayer to Arashu for her many blessings and promptly climbed into bed. As he fell asleep, the assassin realized with cloudy consciousness that he hadn’t felt this content in years.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, if you had not noticed, I do not particularly care for Miranda or Jacob. However, they are still part of the team. I wanted to develop their characters’ a bit more. I make no apologies for making them dislikable, Bioware already accomplished that. </p><p>Also, I absolutely love Jack and Zaeed. The idea that Jack mirrors the alternate path that Shepard’s life could have taken if she had not joined the Alliance or made friendships with people that cared for her really intrigued me. Zaeed has become this overprotective grandfather figure for Shepard that I really started just going with in my head when replaying the games. I think his character is so interesting and I really wish we were not limited to just brief, noncontrollable conversation between Shepard and him. </p><p>Thank you for reading, I hope it has been enjoyable.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Sinfully Intoxicating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Author’s note: This chapter gets a little embarrassing for Kolyat and Selene, but that’s what makes them so cute together. <br/>The following chapter has description of a fight scene. If anyone has a problem with such things please read with caution. <br/>Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nine more eventful weeks passed by, marking Kolyat’s third month aboard the Normandy. In that time, he continued making great strides in his training.</p><p>Currently, he was receiving biotics instruction with the ship’s resident asari Justicar. The serene matriarch seemed to possess an infinite supply of patience when it came to his training.</p><p>The benefits of living almost a thousand years, he supposed.</p><p>Kolyat had enjoyed his lessons with Samara just as much as she enjoyed training the young drell.</p><p>"Very good. Again, and this time try and incorporate a throw," Samara's calm voice washed over him. She sat behind him, her posture straight and her legs crossed in a meditative pose.</p><p>Kolyat returned his attention to the weighted bio-dummy before him. For weeks, his biotic teachers had progressively increase the heaviness of the equipment. They tested and pushed his powers beyond their limits until he gained the ability to lift more. Every time he thought he couldn’t do it, the Normandy crew showed him that he could.</p><p>He concentrated on his objective, and a moment later, his fake opponent was enveloped in a writhing mass of dark energy, the blue pulsing in time with his heart beat. Feeling triumphant, he lifted the three-hundred-pound mass in the air, higher than he had before.</p><p>His muscles flexed under his scales as he struggled to hold the dummy’s weight in place for a few seconds longer. Closing his eyes, he maintained his airborne target before throwing it into the metal wall behind.</p><p>The bio-replication of bones, muscle tissue, cartilage, and flesh crashed against the bulkhead with a resounding bang. The synthetic bones inside the translucent body visibly cracked before the dummy crashed to the floor. </p><p>Kolyat turned his head to look at Samara, eyes glinting with a repressed smile, silently searching for her approval. Samara uncrossed her legs and stood in a single, fluid motion. She smiled and softly clapped her hands, making a warm happiness bloom in his chest.</p><p>The blue drell had been training everyday with all the members of the crew since his acceptance aboard the ship. Not only had his combat skills improved, but his ability to stay focused had sharpened. He was still as curious and prone to asking questions as ever before, but the lesson that Jacob had drilled into him the night of the Pragia mission had not needed repeating.</p><p>Regardless of his progress, Shepard had yet to bring him on a mission.</p><p>So far, during his time on the ship, various different pairings of the ground team had completed a handful of assignments. Some of which had included: storming the fortress of several mercenary compounds, stopping a ship loaded with enemy geth from crashing and obliterating a small colony on the planet Jonus, as well as fulfilling a request submitted by Jacob regarding his father.</p><p>From what Kolyat had been told, the elder Mr. Taylor had been released into Alliance custody following Shepard’s rescue of the lost crew. The man had been accused of committing several unforgivable crimes against what remained of his deeply traumatized staff. The people who had been rescued on the island had been there for over ten years.</p><p>Lower ranked members of Jacob’s father’s crew had been forced to eat the toxic native food on the island, which caused significant neural-decay over time. However, the superior officers chose to hoard the emergency provisions left from their crashed ship amongst themselves.</p><p>Eventually, Jacob’s father had led a coup against the other leaders with a small group of combat mecs, killing them all. The despicable man had appointed himself a sort of king after that. He exiled the remaining male members of the surviving crew, leaving the females as easy prey to his desires by offering those that complied non-poised food and protection. It was only because of the impending threat by an organized group of half-crazed male exiles, that Mr. Taylor senior had finally activated the rescue beacon that lead the Normandy to the planet. </p><p>Jacob had rightfully been disgusted, and Kolyat’s sympathy went out to the man.</p><p>The drell could empathize with the feeling of abandonment at having an absent father. However, Thane had never gone and played sovereign to a harem of scared and abused people while leaving his mother and him behind.</p><p>At least his father had tried to provide for his family the only way the hanar had taught him.</p><p>Slowly, Kolyat had come to understand why the older drell had chosen to leave permanently after avenging his mother’s death. The younger drell accepted that Thane had never truly been equipped to handle having anyone close to him, let alone a family. The pain was still present, it would probably never be fully removed, but Kolyat had begun to move on from the past.  </p><p>He chose, instead, to focus on the time he still had with his only living parent. </p><p>Samara came to stand next to Kolyat, reaching out a blue hand and placing it on his shoulder. "You are improving rapidly; you should be most proud with your progress."</p><p>Kolyat gave her a tired smile, wearied from his previous training sessions with his father, Zaeed, Garrus and Kasumi that day. However, he couldn’t stop the niggling of dissatisfaction that wormed its way into his mind.</p><p>"Thank you, Samara,” he murmured politely. “I know we are done for the day, but you can head up without me. I am going to continue for a bit longer."</p><p>Kolyat turned to the high beam and leapt up to start a round of pull-ups, not waiting for Samara to depart.</p><p>The asari watched him do five before shaking her head with a fond smile, she turned to leave the determined drell to his work. He was a very driven youth and eager to fight, but possessed the patients to wait for Shepard to make the decision on her own time.</p><p><em>He will make a fine warrior someday</em>, Samara thought to herself.</p><p>She gave one last look out the high windows down to the cargo hold before entering the elevator. Kolyat knew the rules regarding training, but she hoped that he stayed mindful of his time. He only had sixty-seven minutes until he was expected to end for the day.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"Where is Kolyat?" Selene looked around the mess hall at the fully assembled crew, feeling an uncomfortable sense of deja vu.</p><p>Thane turned from his conversation with Tali and Garrus in curiosity, but Samara chimed in softly: "The last time I saw him was when I departed from our lesson. He had insisted on continuing his exercises. But this was three hours ago. I did not believe he would continue for so long."</p><p>“Does no one understand the rule of only seven fucking minutes overtime?” Selene sighed, massaging the bridge of her nose. “Three hours? He had a whole day of training, what the hell is he doing continuing for three hours?"</p><p>“If you wish, Commander Shepard, I can retrieve him?” Samara answered in her usual calm voice. "He informed me that he wished to continue, and he still had a free hour before he was expected to stop. I had no reason to believe he would lose track of time."</p><p>“No, I’ll get him,” Selene shook her head at the Justicar. "You had a long day too, Samara. Eat. All of you, start without us. I'll be back in a bit."</p><p>Thane’s voice trailed off behind her, politely asking her not to hurt his son, which relieved some of her tension. She snorted in amusement and softly shook her head.</p><p>As Selene came through the elevator doors, she peered down into the cargo bay windows. Kolyat stood down there, practicing his hand-to-hand on two combat drones she had picked up on Omega.</p><p>She watched him for a bit, impressed at just how far his hand-to-hand had developed in only three months. One of the drones already lay incapacitated on the floor, cycling through its cooldown period before it would spring up once more. The other was taking a beating as Kolyat deftly flipped through the air, landing a spin kick to the heavy machines metal plated chest.</p><p>The blue drell ended the fight with a cry that could be heard from where Shepard stood in the hallway. He threw a viscous hook, bringing a powerful knee up, and deftly destroyed the drones face plate as it crashed to the floor.</p><p>Kolyat stood in the middle of the carnage, breathing deep, but not overly winded. The blue drell lifted his left hand, the one that had smashed against the metal of the drone’s face, and the light caught the slick of pink drell blood glistening on his knuckles.</p><p>Selene watched as he shook his head, a dark expression crossing his face that she hadn’t seen since she had recruited him. Obviously, there was some turmoil driving this training session.</p><p>Commander Shepard decided now would be a good time to make her presence known, before the drones recovered and he continued to cause himself further unnecessary injury. She made her way down the stairs, not trying to be quiet, but Kolyat was still too preoccupied with his own thoughts to hear her noisy steps. She had been too late in her interruption and the sound of the other drone picking itself up drowned out her footsteps.</p><p>Kolyat resumed his fighting, only moderately protecting his left hand as he struck out with his other fist. His frustration and roiling thoughts were palpable as Shepard cleared the stairs. Before making her way fully to him in the sparring circle, she remembered to shut down the second drone with her omini tool.</p><p>Kolyat struck an incredibly familiar figure, nearly looking like the twin of his father when she had first met the man on Illium. Selene had stood transfixed as she had witnessed Thane take out a whole room of Eclipse mercs and then his target. The older drell had been singularly focused, paying no mind to his audience as he completed his task; the embodiment of elegance and deadliness.</p><p>Selene was certain that any words she tried to say would fall on deaf ears, so she chose to wait until Kolyat knocked out his synthetic opponent. She noticed, with bit of admiration, that she didn’t have to wait long.</p><p>This time Kolyat used his biotics, lifting the machine quickly into the air before immediately tossing it with more force than was necessary. Shepard suspected that the drone was permanently down for the count.</p><p>Kolyat’s back was turned to her, he still had not noticed her presence. Cautiously, she stepped behind him, reaching out a hand to his shirtless back.</p><p>“Kolyat, are you ok--"</p><p>The Commander’s words were cut off as Kolyat spun in one blurred motion, catching her arm in a vice grip as his other painfully checked her hip, throwing off her balance. The result allowed him to toss her over his shoulder, ending with her landing hard on the mat below.</p><p>Kolyat’s eyes blew wide in shock at the realization of what he had just done, and especially <em>who</em> he had just attacked.</p><p>Kolyat, in his adrenaline filled haze, had assumed the other drone had reactivated, and had attacked without thought. Now he realized he had just slammed his commanding officer onto her back, and from her gasping breaths he had knocked the wind from her pretty hard.</p><p>“Commander,” he gasped in astonishment. “I am so sorry . . . I . . . I thought I was alone and believed you to be the other drone. Forgive my foolishness, I did not mean to hurt you.”</p><p>Kolyat frantically looked Selene over for any sign of injury, not knowing what he could do to help.</p><p>Fortunately, Shepard appeared fine, having been more taken by surprise than actually hurt. Still, the drell had slammed her hard, and had moved fast enough to take her out for a few short moments. She had anticipated a wild swing in her direction or an elbow aimed at her face. She had not expected him to expertly use a move that required the least amount of movement with the most effective possible outcome.</p><p>"I'm fine, Kolyat,” Selene gritted out, begrudgingly noticing her response came out winded. She had not fully recovered like she hoped. Regardless, she lifted herself into a sitting position, supporting her weight on her arms behind her.</p><p>“Who taught you how to move like that?”</p><p>Kolyat’s large black eyes blinked at her for a few confused seconds before answering. “You did, Commander.”</p><p>“I did? I don’t remember that being a part of your lessons.”</p><p>“It wasn’t. I learned by watching you fight the others. You have used this move several times in training –-”</p><p>His eyes suddenly grew vacant and distant, his memory trapping him into solipsism:</p><p><em>Orange scars burn brightly against lightly darkened skin. Selene’s silver-green eyes flash with dangerous amusement as she waits for</em> <em>Garrus’ attack. The larger turian rushes forward, foolishly falling into the trap. Small human hands lash out, quick and precise, always so sure. She uses his body weight against him, gripping his arm and slamming her palm into his hip. Garrus is helpless to stop her from flipping him over her shoulder, slamming him into the floor below. </em></p><p>Shepard though that was the end of the memory, but was shocked to hear him continue.</p><p>
  <em>She laughs, a deep warm sound that floats across the room.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her full lips break into a brilliant smile. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bright, quicksilver-green eyes shine keenly in her beautiful face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Soft waves of dark hair cascaded down her back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I remember what the strands feel like as it slipped through my fingers. </em>
</p><p>Just as suddenly as it began, the memory was over. Kolyat returned, feeling dazed. The magenta ribbing at his neck burning brighter as he attempted to look anywhere but at Selene.</p><p><em>Curse the gods for gifting the drell with perfect recall</em>, he thought bitterly.</p><p>A few beats of awkward silence ticked by. The Commander remained seated, processing what his eidetic memory had so unwillingly forced him to speak. She had not realized that he had been watching her sparring sessions so closely, or that he controlled the ability to replicate something he had only seen, never practiced, so flawlessly.</p><p>The fact that he had taken such careful notice of what her hair felt like or that he thought her smile was brilliant was another matter entirely.  She could feel her own cheeks grow warm as she remembered him calling her face beautiful and that, apparently in his mind, he referred to her as Selene, rather than his customary Shepard or Commander.</p><p>Shepard was at a loss at what to do. Her body would not move and her mind reeled with thoughts of what was just said. Kolyat had clearly not meant for any of that to slip out, but she could not act like she had not just heard it.</p><p>Or could she?</p><p>She was the Commander. She could pull rank, and forgive him for his slip up. It was not like he could control what was involuntary for his species.</p><p>Selene’s real turmoil came from the fact that she actually felt touched.</p><p>Not many had cared to notice such small things about her. Her experience with romance and lust had been limited to a handful of brief relationships that ended soon after they started. She had fun in her late teens and early twenties as a private in the Alliance, but none of the people she had been with had stuck around longer than a month. Neither had Selene really. If any of her former lovers had shown any interest of taking things further, she promptly ended their association.</p><p>It had never seemed fair to whoever she was with at the time to not be able to promise that she would return safely.  It also did not help that Selene had never been around a healthy, functional relationship in her life.</p><p>The only thing she had ever know about romance was that people could be selfish and abusive if you let them become too important. Her mother had learned that the hard way when she refused to leave her drunk of a husband.</p><p>Shepard mentally shook herself of those thoughts, returning her attention to the drell who was now giving her a concerned look. She had been silent for too long and now Kolyat feared that he had either caused more damage than he originally thought or that she was so upset with what she had heard that she was too angry to respond.</p><p>Shepard chose to ignore what had just been revealed in favor of addressing the reason she had come down here in the first place.</p><p>"You want to tell me why you have been down here for the last three hours? Your training shift was over a two hour ago.” Despite the seriousness of him ignoring her rules, Selene spoke softly as she stared up at him.</p><p>The manner in which she spoke confused Kolyat. She did not appear angry, but she was clearly not pleased with his forgetfulness.</p><p>"I just wanted to get some more work done. I did not realize that so much time had slipped by. I am sorry, Commander. My intentions were not to appear insubordinate. "</p><p>Everyone had remembered what had happened to Jacob the last time someone went over their allotted training time. Kolyat would take his punishment with grace, knowing that he should have been more mindful of his time.</p><p>"You know the rules, Kolyat. I have a strict regimen for my crew and though your enthusiasm is admirable, you are going to kill yourself doing this. Doctor Chakwas will patch your hands up and then you need to eat and get some sleep. Tomorrow you won't be training, only resting."</p><p>Selene finally stood from the floor, followed by Kolyat who had been crouching next to her.</p><p>Even though Kolyat knew that the Commander was not to be questioned, he could not stop himself from speaking up.</p><p>Three months of patience and pent up energy caused him to finally explode in protest.</p><p>"Shepard, I'm fine. I promise I can handle my normal schedule. I am not as weak or fragile as you might believe me to be. I wish to train with the rest of the team.”</p><p><em>Weak and fragile?</em> Shepard thought to herself, confused. <em>Is that how he thinks I view him? </em></p><p>Apparently, Kolyat had no clue that she was extremely pleased with his progress and dedication over the last few months. She had been discussing with his father and other members of the team about their opinions on finally letting him join the ground squad. Most believed him to be ready.</p><p>Even Zaeed had reluctantly been forced to admit that Kolyat had proven himself to be extremely capable throughout training.</p><p>Shockingly, Jack had been the blue drell’s greatest supporter; the powerful biotic was clearly proud of what her student had achieved. Shepard had liked the change in Jack as a teacher so much that she had continued to appoint her as Kolyat’s main instructor.</p><p>Clearly, Shepard had not been relaying this to Kolyat enough because he appeared to have some suppressed misconceptions about her opinion of him. Instead of verbally correcting his inaccuracies, she decided to let her feelings be known through demonstration. </p><p>Kolyat only had a second to register what was about to happen. His body braced for the impact of Shepard’s powerful open palm strike to his exposed chest, sending him back a few steps.</p><p>“It seems that you are in need of a lesson on what I consider weak and fragile, Mr. Krios.”</p><p> That was the only warning the blue drell received before being forced to defend himself against the onslaught of attacks Shepard threw his way. </p><p>This fight was unlike their first. Selene did not pull punches or give her opponent time to recover. This was a real match between the two and Kolyat struck back with equal fierceness. Selene found it a challenge to move out of the taller man’s reach quickly enough. In just a matter of a few months, his flexibility and speed were on par with her own.</p><p>Kolyat certainly had no reservations about striking a female anymore.</p><p>As Kolyat received a punishing blow to his solid torso, he found his opening to trap the Commander’s leg between his arm and ribs. The Commander’s eyes widened in shock as he deftly tackled her to the floor, maneuvering quickly to place her in a submission hold that would cause her to lose consciousness if she did not tap soon. Her back was planted firmly against his chest as his strong arms locked her head between them. His own arched position on the floor allowed him the leverage he needed in order to apply just enough pressure to her neck.</p><p>Kolyat was slightly fearful that this move might be too much in a simple contest, but he had witnessed Jacob do this maneuver plenty of times against other teammates. The drell continued to keep pressure on the slowly weakening Commander’s neck, hoping she would tap out soon.</p><p>Selene's eyes grew heavy and clouded as she struggled helplessly against the larger man’s grip. She knew there was very little she could do against his superior body weight and strength. She had allowed herself to be caught and now unless she could muster up the energy to release a powerful enough biotic pulse to hopefully loosen his grip, she was going to be passing out in the next few seconds. Submitting had never even crossed her mind.</p><p>With a final desperate gasp, Selene charged the dark energy inside her and instead of unleashing it across her whole body, she focused on Kolyat’s left forearm that was obstructing her airway.</p><p>The burn of the hyper focused warp caused Kolyat to cry out, his scales splitting in a shallow web of painful tears across his arm. Blood seeped through the openings, dripping onto Selene’s face and open mouth as she gasped for air. The drell pushed the woman away from his body and clutched at his newly injured arm. Selene took the opportunity to roll as far away as she could and sucked in large gulps of air.</p><p>Her throat felt raw and her lungs burned as she sputtered, attempting to get enough air in while spitting out the metallic taste of blood that had entered her mouth. She prayed that her surprise attack had been enough to keep Kolyat distracted for a few moments why she recovered. His submission had been masterfully executed and she was sufficiently stunned.</p><p>Kolyat’s duel-toned voice growled in pain as he looked at the damage to his arm. That had been a nasty little trick the Commander had pulled. Usually biotics were not meant to be used for anything other than forceful shoves during training. She had purposefully ripped his scales open with her energy, obviously not to the extent she could have, but it was still a forbidden move within the confines of training.</p><p><em>Apparently, training time was over</em>, Kolyat thought resolutely.</p><p>The drell took the time to grab his discarded cloth shirt from the floor a few feet from him. He tore the material in half and wrapped it around his forearm securely; he did the same with the other half on his still bleeding knuckles. His left arm was effectively useless now, but at least he wouldn’t get his blood everywhere.</p><p>Selene was beginning to pull herself off the floor across the mats. Her sweat soaked hair clung to her neck and face as she glared fiercely at him. Her scars glowed menacingly as she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side, clothed in only a gray cotton sports bra, her defined abs contracting with her deep breaths. The woman cracked her neck audibly, along with her knuckles as she flexed her fists at her side. </p><p>“Okay,” Her voice was painfully hoarse as she spoke. “Now am going to <em>enjoy</em> kicking your ass.”</p><p>Kolyat took a few steps forward as he fell into a defensive stance.</p><p>“Bring it on, Shepard,” his deep voice rumbled with a confidence that surprised even himself.  </p><p>The pair continued their fight, introducing their biotics to the fray. Kolyat watched with satisfaction as one of his biotic whips wrapped around the smaller woman’s ankle. He pulled forcefully, intending to bring her to the ground once more if he could close the distance between them. Selene used the momentum to spin herself gracefully in the air, flipping out of the circle and landing with her fist against the ground, sending a booming shockwave of energy around her. Kolyat dove to the side, missing the energy by inches, but allowed his forward momentum to carry him closer towards his opponent.</p><p>The fight did not stay on the padded mats for long. The two moved between the cramped space of stacked cargo boxes which had been carefully assembled next to the sparing ring. Kolyat was forced to remain on the defense as his larger form struggled to maneuver through the tighter space. Shepard on the other hand used the environment to her advantage. She pushed herself off the side of crates like a pyjak swinging from tree-to-tree. </p><p>However, Kolyat began to notice that the Commander’s movements became less impactful and precise the longer their match continued. Shepard’s eyes blinked rapidly and she visibly shook her head, as if clearing it of unwanted images. She appeared to be affected by something and it was slowing her down.</p><p>Kolyat found his opening once more when she swung wildly and met nothing but air. The drell captured Shepard under her legs as he lifted the woman with a growl, before forcefully slamming her against a stack of metal crates. He tiredly held her in place with his own body, trapping her so he could catch his own breath. Judging by her rapidly rising and falling chest she needed to do the same.</p><p>Kolyat’s left arm throbbed in pain as his blood leaked through the wrappings he had secured around his injuries. The Commander’s black shorts were being stained, but neither of them seemed to care as their exhausted bodies rested against one another.</p><p>Selene leaned her head back against the cool metal he had her pinned against. The fight slowly drained out of her and her vision swam in a kaleidoscope of color. A cloudy haze filled her peripheral vision and the lights of the cargo bay felt as if they were blinding her. Something was terribly wrong and she needed to figure out what it was, now.</p><p>She could feel Kolyat’s solid frame shift against her as he moved to look at her. She hated herself for the involuntary moan that left her lips, the sensation of his movement felt good on her hyper sensitive skin. </p><p>Kolyat froze at the tempting sound that left the woman’s lips. His eyes carefully searched her face, and noticed her eyes were shut tight and her brows visibly creased as if in pain. But the slight pout to her full lips and the breathy sound that had just escaped had not sounded like it was born of pain, but of pleasure.</p><p>The blue drell began to take in the position he had her in against the boxes. Her back was pressed against the metal, his hands still supported her weight under her thighs, and her legs were locked firmly around his slim waist.</p><p><em>Well, this is compromising,</em> the blue drell thought alarmingly.</p><p>Kolyat made to set her down and back away, but her strong legs prevented him from doing so. Instead, he carried the trembling woman to a crate that was short enough to place her on. He had to forcibly pry her legs and arms from around his waist and neck to lift her head in his hands. She still refused to open her eyes, but her teeth clenched in a pleasant hiss when he touched her.</p><p>It was obvious now that something was very wrong with the Commander, and Kolyat feared she would not be able to handle him carrying her to the medical bay.</p><p>“Shepard? Shepard, can you hear me?” Kolyat called to her. She did not respond, her head lolling drunkenly from one side to the other as his hands attempted to support her.</p><p>Kolyat tried again with no change.</p><p>“Selene,” he finally called.</p><p>Her eyes snapped open suddenly, her pupils blown wide, nearly consuming the silver-green of her irises.</p><p><em>Shit</em>, Kolyat thought.</p><p>She appeared to be having some kind of reaction to something and he knew he needed to get her to Dr. Chakwas and Mordin immediately.</p><p>Kolyat whispered a harried apology to the woman, before scooping her up into his large arms and sprinting from the cargo hold.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The light laughter and voices of the crew greeted Kolyat as the elevator announced their arrival to the crew deck. Some of the squad were already shouting how late they were before he rounded the corner.</p><p>The silence was unnerving as everyone’s attention was immediately drawn to the unexpected scene of a bloody Kolyat carrying a weak and shaking Commander. </p><p>Thane shot from his seat first and reached their side in a heartbeat. “What happened?”</p><p>“Sheneedsmedicalattentionrightaway!”</p><p>Kolyat’s pleading eyes landed on Mordin, and his hurried speech spurred the salarian to action. He was probably the only one who understood what Kolyat had said.</p><p>“Come. Into the medbay quick.”</p><p>Dr. Chakwas was already readying a bed, having witnessed Kolyat and the Commander’s dramatic entrance through the wide windows that looked out to the mess hall.</p><p>"What the fuck did you do to her?" Zaeed roared from the entrance of the medbay. A crowed of squad members behind him.</p><p>Kolyat ignored the man as he gently deposited the Commander into an empty bed. He could feel all the eyes on him as he stepped away from the woman, allowing the doctors room to work over her.</p><p>Kolyat couldn’t tear his eyes from the bed, his normally formidable and strong Commander looking small and pale wrapped in the sterile white sheets. Kolyat was jerked from his stricken thoughts by a rough hand spinning him around. The punch that connected with his jaw was a dull afterthought of pain, adrenaline still pumping heavily through his body after his fight with Selene. His fear of what unknown illness had overcome her numbed him.</p><p>Regardless, Zaeed’s attack sent him crashing into Dr. Chakwas desk, data pads flying off the surface.</p><p>Before the mercenary could continue his assault, the man was grabbed from behind by both Thane and Garrus. The two snipers pushed the struggling man back, causing more equipment to smash to the floor.</p><p>Dr. Chakwas spun around fast and made her way over to the raging mercenary in only a couple strides. Zaeed did not have time to register the small open hand coming towards his face.</p><p>The resounding, sharp sound of a slap rang through the metal walls of the medbay, freezing the three men fighting at the entrance in place.</p><p>Zaeed’s face snapped to the side, though he didn’t look like he was in terrible pain, he was certainly shocked. Dr. Chakwas’ steely gray eyes glared at everyone in front of her as she addressed the larger group.</p><p>“That is <em>quite</em> enough. I want you all out of my damn medical bay before I start stunning people with my omini tool,” she snapped viciously. “Mr. Massani you better not say a word. I want you to stop acting like a raging child and go wait outside.”</p><p>Chakwas turned her glare on Garrus and Thane. “You two can stay. Tali you as well. Kolyat you are not going anywhere. The rest I want <em>out</em>!”</p><p>The medbay doors unceremoniously closed on the other’s faces and the windows shutters followed soon after.</p><p>The doctor turned back to her work after that. The remaining four people in the room gathered together out of the way as they watch Shepard being worked on.</p><p>“So, what did happen Kolyat? Your arm looks like it has been chewed on by a varren and then to show up with Selene half unconscious . . .” Tali’s tone was gentle but there was an undercurrent of suspicious, the woman was clearly concerned for her friend.</p><p>"I . . . I don't know. We were fighting . . . sparring in the cargo hold after she came down to find me. I managed to place her in a submission, but she broke through with her biotics. We both needed a few moments to recover, but she insisted on continuing, we –”</p><p>Just like before, Kolyat was pulled into his memories, his voice evening out as his eyes danced across the ceiling, as if watching everything unfold again:</p><p>
  <em>The burn of her biotics sear across my arm. The pain is unbearable. Blood drips from the open wound onto her gasping face as I push her away. I clutch at the injury; she has not torn the flesh as much as she could. I stand, wrap my arm and hand in my shirt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I face her once more, watch as she gets slowly to her feet. Her own shirt is removed and tossed to the side, revealing glowing scars and soft light brown skin. Her face, the picture of a beautifully terrifying  fury and vengeance; the face of a warrior angel. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Okay,” she speaks in a painfully hoarse voice. Her soothingly deep tone lost after being chocked.</em>
</p><p><em>“Now I am going to </em>enjoy<em> kicking your ass.”</em></p><p>Kolyat’s memory stopped there as he returned to the group. Everyone collectively chose to ignore the more intimate details that had been shared through Kolyat’s memory.</p><p>“Ah, believe I know what has happened. But just to be sure. Did you and the Commander have any other contact other than your fight?” Mordin turned towards the younger man.</p><p>Kolyat shook his head in the negative, confused by what the doctor was asking him.</p><p>“Kolyat, he means did you and the Commander have any other oral contact beyond your blood entering her mouth?” Dr. Chakwas’ follow up was equally as unhelpful.</p><p><em>Other oral contact? </em>A small voice in his head murmured.</p><p>“Kolyat,” his father’s voice was quiet, almost gentle. “Did you and Selene kiss or preform any other acts that would bring her mouth in contact with your scales.”</p><p><em>Oh, that kind of oral contact, </em>his mind registered slowly.</p><p>Kolyat’s neck grew brighter at his blush, but he quickly stammered out a reply before the occupants of the room came to the wrong conclusion. “No! No. We were only sparring. Nothing else. I promise.”</p><p>If the situation was not so serious, Garrus would have accused the younger man of protesting a little too much. Currently, the concern exhibited by the drell pointed towards the truth. Not that the younger drell hadn’t thought about kissing the Commander, they were all sure of that at this point.</p><p>"Well, she seems to be suffering a violent reaction to your body’s natural toxins. The oil from your scales, in combination with something as potent as your blood has caused her to fall into a powerful hallucinogenic state.”</p><p>Dr. Chakwas’ voice was calm as she injected the Commander with a sleep sedative.</p><p>The Commander had yet to say a word throughout the whole exchange. Her eyes remained tightly closed and her jaw was clamped shut. Kolyat observed that her hands were fisted into the bed sheets at her side. Her whole demeanor suggested she was in pain rather than any hallucinogenic state.</p><p>The blue drell’s eyes shifted to the ceiling above, noticing the fluorescent lights were the same glaringly bright ones that were featured in the cargo bay.</p><p>“EDI,” Kolyat called to the omnipresent AI.</p><p>“Yes, Mr. Krios?” The famine synthetic voice responded.</p><p>“Can you lower the lights in the medical bay, please?” He was not sure he had the authorization to make that request in a space he had no domain over.</p><p>However, EDI immediately complied. As the lights dimmed, the effect on the Commander was immediate. Her body unclenched and her eyes opened lightly. The concerned group of friends shifted closer, leaning over the woman. She offered a small smile.</p><p>“Hey, guys. Thank you for turning down the lights.” Her voice was a weak croak.</p><p>“You doing alright, Shepard?” Garrus trilled softly, his subvocal calling out his worry in a language she could now hear, but not understand. </p><p>The Commander nodded, lifting two figures briefly in a V-shape. The unfamiliar gesture seemed to satisfy the other three, which eased Kolyat’s own anxiety.</p><p>The blue drell watched as Garrus reached out a gently curled claw, running it lightly over the woman’s exposed arm. He jumped back when Selene let out a groaned hiss and turned away from him. Her whole body tensed once more, her hips lifting slightly off the bed.</p><p>"Would not touch her. Hypersensitive skin could cause her great pain or pleasure, either one would cause embarrassment later." Mordin stepped in between Garrus and the slowly relaxing woman.</p><p>
  <em>Pain or pleasure? </em>
</p><p>Kolyat replayed the breathy moan that Selene had given when his body had shifted against hers down in the cargo hold. His experience with relationships and sex was relegated to a few moments of heavy teenage kissing, one relationship that had not ended well, and a couple involvements with individuals that had not lasted longer than the next morning. However, he was knowledgeable enough to know that Selene had definitely not been in pain when he held her.</p><p>The thought caused a pleasant warmth to travel up his spine as he thought about her making that sound under entirely different circumstances. Him <em>causing </em>those sounds. A shiver raced through his body.</p><p>He quickly banished the inappropriate thoughts, not wishing to disrespect Selene by fantasizing about her, especially in a situation that had ended with her in the medical bay.</p><p>A sudden thought of dread gripped him as he turned to the doctors. “Is this a normal reaction for humans? Or is she more sensitive than most?”</p><p>Thane noted the carful way Kolyat formed his question, as did the doctors. The younger man wanted to know if Selene would always react the same to coming into contact with a drell. His brain idly wondered if he could ever interact closely with the woman without sending her into an incapacitated state.    </p><p>Dr. Chakwas supplied the young man an answer she hoped would ease his mind, “Each person, regardless of race, reacts differently to different psychotropic substance. Usually the effects of drell fluids causes a powerful high that is enjoyable for humans. This is why certain mixologist choose to add them to cocktails. However, the potency of your blood caused an overdoes effect that, though it is not deadly, caused the reaction you see right now. However, Cerberus managed to bring Selene back with a strong immune system that should flush out the toxins by morning.”</p><p>Kolyat looked mildly relieved, but his hidden question had yet to be answered.</p><p>Chakwas continued in a natural tone. “Most likely, if she was to encounter the same situation again, her body’s new enhanced germ response would <em>remember </em>the interaction. Simply put, she will not suffer the same reaction again. Possibly just a mild high at the most.”</p><p>Kolyat did a great job of not looking overly pleased with the news, but his father and Chakwas could not be fooled.  </p><p>Garrus and Tali appeared to be focused on their relief rather than second conversation. The pair volunteered to notify the rest of the crew of Shepard’s condition and to explain to everyone what happened.</p><p>Garrus encouraged Kolyat to wait a few minutes before leaving, to give those that were understandably worried time to cool down from any anger they were directing at him.</p><p>Kolyat knew the man was protecting him from another confrontation with Zaeed, who could be seen leaning impatiently against the wall in front of the medbay as Tali and Garrus exited.</p><p>“Alright, young Mr. Krios. Let’s see about that arm,” Chakwas pointed to the chair next to her, giving no room for Kolyat to argue.</p><p>The blue drell remained silent as the woman worked on him. Not even flinching when she stabbed him with several different medi-gel applicators, as well as a bone fracture serum for his knuckles. Within a few minutes she was wrapping his injures with clean gauze and bandages.</p><p>“Okay, looks like you will survive. I suggest keeping those wrapped for the next twenty-four hours to make sure the scales fuse together properly. The dark energy residue from Selene’s attack made it so it takes longer for the medi-gel to completely knit your tough skin together.”</p><p>Dr. Chakwas smiled at him as she finished. Kolyat nodded in thanks. His gaze drifting back to the quietly sleeping woman on the bed to his right.</p><p>“Will she really be fine by morning?”</p><p>Mordin, who had stayed to take additional scans of the Commander to ensure her system was indeed doing what Dr. Chakwas said it was, answered. “Yes, certainly. Most traces of drell toxins are already being killed off.”</p><p>Thane placed a strong but gentle hand on his son’s shoulder as he spoke. “She will be okay, Kolyat. Shepard has survived much worse.”</p><p>The other two in the room nodded in agreement.</p><p>"We should leave the Commander to rest now."</p><p>Thane motioned Kolyat to the exit. Kolyat briefly thought about asking if he could stay and sleep in the medbay tonight. However, he did not want to raise even more suspicion and get probed with awkward questions.</p><p>He chose to leave, sending another thank you to the doctors before exiting.</p><p>The mess hall was significantly emptier than before. Only Mess Sargent Gardner and Garrus remained. The kindly Sargent placed a bowl of steaming thick soup in front of Kolyat as the younger man took a tired seat at one of the empty tables. The drell ate quietly as his father and Garrus chatted lightly with one another.</p><p>Garrus explained that he and Tali had informed the rest of the crew what had happened, and that Shepard was going to be fine. Grunt and Zaeed had apparently demanded to see the Commander, but Garrus had been firm in his refusal. The two senior squad members of the Normandy dismissed everyone to their rooms, earning an indignant huff from Miranda.</p><p>The Cerberus appointed second-in-command resented not only being kept out of the loop regarding Shepard’s medical care, but also being dismissed like any other member of the crew. Garrus’ predatory growl and Tali’s crossed armed stance and empty stare through her helmet had cut short any protest that the woman was about to make. </p><p>The squad had been successfully placated and now the tired turian was going to bed. He bid the three other men goodnight and walked off to the forward battery. </p><p>Thane asked Kolyat once more if he was alright. The younger man answered with a quiet mumble that he would be fine, and that he just wanted to wash up before turning lights out for the night cycle. Thane nodded with understanding and gave his son the space he was asking for.</p><p>Kolyat placed his empty bowl with Gardner, thanking the man for the delicious meal, before moving on to the crew showers. He stripped himself of his clothes, sending the soiled garments to the laundry room. He was carful to not move his bandaged arm directly under the spray of hot water.</p><p>For a while, the only thing Kolyat did was rest his forehead against the cool metal of the shower wall, allowing the jet of hot spray to beat against his sore muscles. Normally, drell partook in sand baths or stone polishing in order to clean and buff their scales. Showers with water were only preformed when they had particularly made a mess of themselves. However, Kolyat had come to appreciate the daily bathing ritual. The warm beat of the water soothed his aches and pains, and remined him of the persistent rainfall on Kahja.</p><p>He found that taking his shower late into the night cycle after dinner usually afforded him the privacy that was so scarcely found aboard the ship. The solitude allowed his mind to wonder and reflect on the day’s events. Currently, his head was filled with thoughts and images of what happened in the last hour.</p><p>Kolyat knew he had been foolish to lose track of his training. Unfortunately, the knowledge that three months had already passed and he still he had not been allowed to join the ground team on missions had begun to irk him. He told himself he needed to be patient; three months were hardly a significant amount of time to develop skills like the ones the squad possessed.</p><p>Regardless, Kolyat was beginning to feel useless on the Normandy, his days were filled with studying and training while everyone else got to join Shepard on one mission or another. They even had important research and duties regarding the improvement of the ship that Kolyat had yet to contribute to.</p><p>Kolyat scrubbed his body clean, rinsed, and shut off the water. As he dried his scales off, and wrapped the towel around his waist he remembered the comment Selene had made before she attacked. <em>It seems that you are in need of a lesson on what I consider weak and fragile Mr. Krios</em>.</p><p>Judging by the fight she had given him, he would suspect she did not think of him as weak after all. Selene held absolutely nothing back, and if not for her trick with her biotics, he would have actually won that battle.  </p><p>Not being any less confused than when he had entered the shower, Kolyat crept silently through life support. He dressed quietly for bed, careful not to wake his father.</p><p>As the younger drell stretched out on his cot, he thought of his Commander in the medial bay only a few yards from his room. He recalled how strong her thick legs felt wrapped around his waist. Her body, cloaked in soft skin around firm muscles, the kind of human flesh that was alien to a drell’s scaled skin texture. She had felt sinfully good in his hands, pinned against the box and his own body.</p><p>He secretly wanted to greedily replay the images and sensations that his perfect mind could dredge up like a living fantasy in his mind. He wanted to remember every hitched breath, every subtle movement of her body against his own, the silky strands of hair falling in her face—begging to be touched—   </p><p>He forcibly cleared his mind, allowing him to finally submit to sleep. His last thought was a sliver of hope that the Commander would not be angry with him tomorrow. He also hoped he would survive any encounters with Zaeed and Grunt.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Author’s Note: My sister managed to edit the chapters early. I will be posting chapter ten in a few minutes.<br/>We hope you enjoy these two chapters. Chapter eleven may take longer than a week to post, only because it is over twenty pages long. We will try to get it posted in a timely manner. <br/>Thank you for continuing to read ^-^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Morning After</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Author’s Note: Two-chapter update! We hope you enjoy ^-^</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Tap tap . . .</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tap tap tap . . .</em>
</p><p>
  <em>BANG! BANG! BANG!</em>
</p><p>The savage banging on her cabin door roused Selene from a deep sleep.</p><p>The woman groaned as she turned in her bed, her arm thrown haphazardly across her face and her other hand clutched the knife under her pillow. The Commander had woken earlier in the morning cycle to find herself in the medical bay. Most of the crew was still asleep, with the exception of a few navigators up in the CIC. Chakwas had long since retired to her bunk down the hall, so there was no one around to stop Shepard from sneaking up to her own room after disconnecting herself from the monitors she was hooked up to.</p><p>The groggy woman had stumbled her way across the mess hall to drink her weight in water. She noticed that her throat was not nearly as sore as it should be after being chocked as long as she had. The doctors must have given her some medi-gel to sooth the damaged muscles. Still, Selene could see the bruising that hadn’t fully healed in the reflection of the mirror above the sink. Swallowing caused a throb of pain down her throat.</p><p>After shoving a couple protein bars in her mouth, Shepard escaped to her cabin on the top floor of the Normandy. Before falling into bed, she had instructed EDI to lock her doors and to refuse entrance to any nosy doctors or squamates trying to get in.</p><p>Judging by the banging at her door, said nosy crew was trying to break it down.</p><p>"Go away dammit!" Selene yelled, as loud as her still healing vocal cords would allow.</p><p>"Open the door, Selene." A muffled but clearly irritated voice on the other side of her door called back. She’d know that familiar, smooth trill and deep subvocal anywhere.</p><p>"No, Garrus! Go away and let me rest." She knew she was practically whining but she didn’t particularly care that morning. </p><p>"Shepard?” Thane’s soothing, soft tones replaced Garrus’ attempt to coax the Commander out.</p><p>“You must rise. You have been asleep for sixteen hours. Dr. Chakwas and Mordin wish to check if you are suffering anymore side effects from last night.”</p><p>"I’m not! Both of you get away from my door before I have EDI shock you with her holo." Selene was not certain EDI could do that from her holo stand outside her door, but she really did not want to move. Whatever duties she had or additional scans the doctors wanted to put her through could just wait.</p><p>Last night was still a blur for Selene. She remembered going down to the cargo bay to retrieve Kolyat. Then the impromptu fight that she had almost lost. After that, the events became muddled. Her mind only recalled snippets of being pressed against a cargo box, then being laid out in the medical bay.</p><p>Everything was fuzzy and incoherent after that.</p><p>In addition to her poor memory, Selene felt like she had awakened to one of the worst hangovers of her life. Thankfully, she did not feel like she would spew the measly contents of her stomach. However, her head was pounding and her mouth was unbearably dry. Despite her discomfort, the effort it would take to leave her room for water and pain killers did not outweigh her wish to just sleep her aches and pains away.</p><p>
  <em>Bang! Bang! Bang!</em>
</p><p>Garrus’ insistent pounding on her door started all over.</p><p>Selene’s muscles screamed in protests as she flopped on her stomach, trying to bury her head further in her pillow, hoping to block out the noise from the annoying turian outside. </p><p><em>“¡Vete a la mierda!” </em>Shepard groaned loudly.  </p><p>"Shepard get your ass up and open the damn door, we brought you food." Garrus’ shout drummed in her head like the pounding of a hammer.</p><p>The idea of food was tempting. Before Selene could make a decision on whether being fed was worth the trouble of letting them in, a third voice called out timidly.</p><p>"Commander? Please open the door, Gardner made your favorite. Rice with chicken in that spicy sauce you like."</p><p>Kolyat's voice was quiet, as if he was nervous about being there.</p><p>Selene’s eyes came open just enough to form icy slits at the remembrance of how he had managed to catch her slipping in their fight. The evidence of which was still very much evident around her neck.</p><p>The woman finally pushed the covers away from her exposed legs. She had not changed out of her clothes from last night, too tired to make the effort to do so when she managed to reach her rooms. The only pieces of clothing she had successfully removed were her running shoes and socks.</p><p>As she made her scheming way to the door, her bare feet made little noise. She pressed her back to the wall next to the entrance of her rooms and leaned over to press the red button that would allow the men on the other side entry.</p><p>The first to storm in was Garrus, his brisk pace carrying him down the short stairs into her sitting area as Thane walked gracefully through the doorway. The green drell was carrying a tray of food in his hands.</p><p>Suddenly, the assassin stopped at the top of her office landing, sensing something was amiss. Before he could turn to warn his son, the younger man was dropped to his knees with a painful groan. The waiting Commander had swung out her leg mercilessly to meet his midsection as the unsuspecting drell crossed the threshold.</p><p>Kolyat gasped helplessly on the ground, the act of being caught unaware had not allowed him to brace for the blow. An amused looking Shepard stood above him.</p><p>Selene bent down and whispered in his ear. "That's for choking me out."</p><p>She lightly patted the side of his face.</p><p>Kolyat met her smile with a sharp glare. He managed to cough out a gruff response, “You cheated . . . used your biotics.” Kolyat lifted his still bandaged arm in front of her face to make his point.</p><p>“Get used to it. Our enemies don’t fight fair just because you want them to.” Selene walked past the still recovering drell and made her way over to the other two in the middle of her room.</p><p>"Since you insist on not letting me sleep, please tell me you brought something to drink?" The woman walked over to her L-shaped couch that sat against a glass display case of floating model ships. The wall separated her office from the lower level that made up her seating room and bedroom loft.</p><p>Selene threw herself down onto the leather seats and laid her head tiredly against the back.</p><p>Thane and Garrus joined her around the couch, the food that the green drell had been carrying was gently placed on the table in front of the woman.</p><p>“Well, my son-- who you have just drop kicked--has brought you a pot of tea.” There was a small smile on Thane’s lips. “Judging from the look he is giving you, I do not believe he is inclined to give it to you."</p><p>Kolyat had finally removed himself from the floor and made his own way over to the group. How he had managed not to drop or spill the kettle filled with steaming ginger tea, and the cup he had been holding, was a mystery.</p><p>Selene refused to move or open her eyes as she spoke. “Kolyat, you deserved that and you know it. Please give me the tea, my throat is killing me.”</p><p>“I fail to see how I deserved that after you decided to cheat by ripping my arm open with your biotics?” Kolyat stubbornly did not move. Part of him was enjoying teasing the Commander a little longer.</p><p>Selene’s hands started to glow unceremoniously, her tired eyes finally opening to glare at Kolyat across the table. “Would you rather I use them to tear your pretty face open and make you as ugly as Garrus?”</p><p>“Hey!” Garrus protested indignantly at her side.</p><p>Kolyat just continued to smirk, taunting her a few seconds longer before placing the tea in front of her, making a show of bowing towards her.</p><p>“Your tea, Commander.”</p><p>It had not gone unnoticed that she had called his face pretty.</p><p>“Smart man.” Selene gave a small smile in return, her hands retracting her biotic glow as she reached to pour herself some of the much-needed hot liquid.</p><p>As the Commander silently sipping her tea, Garrus took the opportunity to begin informing her about what had gone on while she was asleep.</p><p>"Joker says we’ll be finished scanning this system at the end of the day shift. Since you decided to sleep your lazy ass through most of it, we should be done in about five hours. That means we will be spending one more day in this system. If you choose to grace us with your presence." He pointedly ignored Selene’s glare. "You can plot our next course before tomorrow."</p><p>Selene finished the cup she had been working on as the turian spoke, before pouring herself another. She nodded when her friend finished his report, silently thanking him for taking care of the ship in her absence.</p><p>"Alright, tell Miranda to add that we were here for two days. Give her a full account of all the minerals that we acquired, and the new upgrades I am sure Mordin has already started planning for. Also, tell Joker the next place we are heading is Aequitas, in the Fortis system. I received a message about the place going silent and a friend of mine would like to know what happened."</p><p>"Are you going to tell us who this mysterious inquisitor is?" Thane asked from beside her.</p><p>Selene just took a drink of her tea and gave him a small smile over the rim, mouthing the word <em>no</em>.</p><p>Thane did not expect her to answer, so he wasn’t completely disappointed. Occasionally, the Commander took on random requests from unknown sources. Whether it was to eliminate or investigate a group of interest, it was no concern of his why she chose to take the time to complete these side missions. Selene had his loyalty and his gun, he trusted that her reasons were sound.</p><p>As she finally set her drink down, she moved the stasis-contained plate of food closer to her. Selene’s stomach gave a light growl as she pressed the button that would release the containment pod around her still hot meal. The spicy aroma of jalapeño in a cream sauce brought a found smile to her face. This was her mother’s recipe and one she rarely was able to enjoy. As the woman took a bite, she sent a mental thank you to Gardner for preparing it for her.   </p><p>As she ate, she continued to listen to the other reports that Thane and Garrus had to offer about small things like supply count and missed messages that Kelly had at her terminal down in the CIC. As the Commander finished her meal, Garrus and Thane swiped the empty dishes as they stood. Shepard smiled at them appreciatively.</p><p>"I will head down to Joker and inform him of our next destination.” Thane gave Shepard a small head nod in respect as he turned for the elevators.</p><p>“Great. That leaves me with the Cerberus cheerleader,” Garrus grumbled.</p><p>Everyone gave the turian curious stares at his use of Jack’s not so complementary nickname for the XO.</p><p>Garrus looked between the three people before answering defensively. “What? It’s true, right?”</p><p>His comment just earned light laughter from his friends.</p><p>The man shrugged as he followed Thane out, calling to Shepard over his shoulder. “We’ll let the crew know that the kid over here didn’t kill you with his blood.”</p><p>“What?” Shepard sputtered, nearly spitting out the last of her tea.</p><p>Kolyat, who had been the last of the three men to get up from his seat, turned slowly back towards the Commander. “You do not remember?”</p><p>“No. Last night is honestly a little fuzzy after I managed to escape your submission.”</p><p>“Maybe the two of you should catch up before you return to the crew Shepard. Zaeed and Grunt were not happy last time they saw Kolyat and you.” Garrus suggested from the doorway.</p><p>“Yeah, you guys go ahead. Kolyat and I will catch up with you both in a bit. And thank you, both of you for holding down the ship while I recovered.”</p><p>Selene smiled at her two friends, her silver-green eyes conveying how much she appreciated that she could rely on them.</p><p>“Any time, Shepard. Don’t forget to thank Tali. She has been handling everything down in engineering. Thane and I won’t go down there ourselves.” Garrus ended with a turian smile and a nod before leaving with Thane.</p><p>As the doors to the elevator closed on the two men, Thane cleared his throat before speaking. "Do you notice that every time she says that they will not be long, it always seems to take double the amount of time it should?”</p><p>“And last time they both came back looking like they lost a fight with a YMIR mech,” Garrus added.</p><p>Thane nodded as they continued to descend. "Indeed."</p><p>Back in Shepard’s cabin, Kolyat continued to stand nervously at the top of the stairs. His black eyes wandered, landing on the long, glowing fish tank that that ran the length of one of Selene’s walls. No fish were present, but the aquarium was filled with underwater plant life that ranged from common kelp, to more exotic foliage native to many different worlds.</p><p>Selene caught on to Kolyat’s anxiety and abandoned her spot on the couch, choosing to move in front of the tank he seemed so interested in.</p><p>“I didn’t want to fill it with defenseless animals. Warship and all. I also am terrible at keeping fish alive. My aunt found that out the hard way when I over fed her gold fish once.” Selene winced at the memory.  “Though, I couldn’t resist getting this little guy.”</p><p>Shepard moved excitedly past him to a shelf next to a door that Kolyat assumed lead to a private washroom.</p><p>Selene lifted the lid of a glass terrain. It first appeared to be empty, but as she turned to face him, her hands were cupped delicately over something small and furry.</p><p>“This is Luke. Your father encouraged me to get him the first time we visited the Citadel after Horizon. Space hamsters tend to be more durable then fish.”</p><p>Shepard clearly was enamored with the tiny rodent like creature. Kolyat was not familiar with many animals that did not have scales and swam in the ocean. However, Kahje did possess a small amount of feathered birds and small hairy vermin that were usually not welcome into people’s living spaces. Apparently, humans treated the tiny pests differently.</p><p>The now curious drell stepped closer to the pair, the mini hamster with its overly large ears and whiskery face turned its attention to him as he stopped before it.</p><p>“Want to hold him?” Selene offered.</p><p>The small creature gave him an innocent stare with its beady eyes. A tiny paw coming up to swipe at the back of his ear.</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>Kolyat’s acceptance of her question brought one of her brilliant smiles to her face, filling him with a warm happy glow.</p><p>Selene carefully deposited Luke into the drell’s much larger hands. Kolyat looked nervous again at having to handle something so small. He did not move as Luke curiously scurred around his joined hands, sniffing his scales as he crawled from one end to the other.</p><p>Selene watched with enjoyment the two interacted with each other. Kolyat looked like a statue, holding his large arms out in front of him, but keeping the hamster at eye level. It was only then that Shepard noticed how much Kolyat had filled out in the last couple months.</p><p>The blue drell had been lightly toned before, and reasonably fit for civilian standards. However, with the intense training he had undergone as apart of the Normandy crew, his lanky, thin frame had packed on quite a bit of muscle.</p><p>His exposed arms were thicker and more sharply defined, his gray cotton shirt stretched across his broad chest. The low V of his collar exposed more solid muscle than before. Shepard knew his abs were like stone, her attacks to his midsection had not been as effective the second time they fought. He was still trim and not as wide as say Jacob, who spent a lot of his time purposefully building muscle mass. Over all, Kolyat had filled out nicely during his stay on the Normandy.</p><p>As Shepard watched the towering drell, with all his muscles and power, hold her tiny space hamster with delicate care and nervous enthusiasm, she could not help finding him charmingly cute.</p><p>Selene had attempted to ignore the nagging crush pulling at the strings of her heart over the past three months Kolyat had been aboard the ship. Her brain still insisted that becoming involved with another crew member was not a good idea. Regardless, she could feel her stomach give a flip of excitement when he turned a crooked smile her way. </p><p>“I think it likes me.” Kolyat’s rambling voice brought her back from her thoughts.</p><p>“<em>He</em> appears to like you very much,” Selene agreed. She took the happy hamster from the drell and carefully depositing him back into his home.</p><p>As she turned back to her guest, she noticed the man seemed more relaxed now.</p><p>“So, do you want to fill me in on what happened after I escaped your hold?” Selene rested her shoulder against the metal bulkhead that made up the end of her model ship case.</p><p>She leveled Kolyat with an expectant, but patient, look. She did not appear angry about the events of last night, at least the ones she could remember.</p><p>“Uh, what exactly do you remember?” Kolyat asked carefully, anxiety filling his body once more.</p><p>
  <em>Did she remember moaning against me?</em>
</p><p>“Nothing past telling you I was going to enjoy kicking your ass,” Shepard supplied with an arrogant smile.</p><p>That earned her a nervous bark of laughter as he rubbed the back of his neck.</p><p>“Well, we continued to fight for a while after that. You forced me into the tight space between the boxes next to the ring. You seemed fine through most of it. But suddenly, you started to become more sluggish and less focused. I took advantage of the moment and slammed you against some crates.”</p><p>Kolyat was doing everything he mentally could to stop himself from falling into another embarrassing solipsism episode. It had been bad enough the last two times, he did not want to reveal more then he needed.</p><p>Selene’s brows were creased in concentration as he spoke, flashes of the fight coming back. She remembered maneuvering through the maze of boxes, ending with her back painfully pushed against one. The rest was unclear, but she could recall the feeling of a hard body and cool scales against her. Her eyes had been closed, but when Kolyat had pressed against her and shifted his weight, she had wrapped her legs around him, locking him in place.</p><p>Shepard flinched internally, feeling heat rise to her cheeks at the remembrance of how good it had felt to have him against her. She really hoped her memory was playing tricks on her, but she was sure she had tried to call his name wantonly. She prayed to God that Kolyat had not heard her, or that it was all untrue. Kolyat had yet to explain why she had begun to act so strangely; Garrus had mentioned something about blood.</p><p>Kolyat continued. “I realized then that something was terribly wrong. I rushed you to the medbay and Dr. Chakwas and Mordin discovered that you were having a powerful hallucinogenic reaction to my blood and oils that had dripped into your mouth.”</p><p>Selene recalled the taste of metallic blood when she had forced him to release her. It all made sense now.</p><p>Mordin had taken it upon himself once to discuss the possible side effects of drell and human coupling a few weeks before recruiting Kolyat. Selene had been mildly horrified, and somewhat amused, that the salarian thought it important enough to warn her about the outcomes of oral contact with drell skin and bodily fluids.</p><p>The implication being that if she and Thane ever had sex, she would be aware of the risks involved. When Selene assured him his warnings were not needed, he had supplied additional information about human and turian relations. At that point, Shepard had promptly tuned out the scientists, practically running from the room to get away from him.</p><p>It appeared that information would have actually come in handy if she had cared to remember it and connect it to the events in the cargo bay. Selene inwardly groaned in anticipation at what rumors Kelly was most likely spreading regarding Kolyat and herself. Now that the crew knew she was okay and never in any life-threatening danger, they would most likely begin stories of how Kolyat and her had been going at it behind everyone’s back. </p><p><em>Great, just another thing to add to my growing list of reasons why I should fire my yeoman</em>, Selene thought bitterly.</p><p>In reality, Selene liked Kelly. She noticed that her counseling skills were a benefit to the team and the red head managed to supply the Commander with useful insight into the team’s mental health.</p><p>Kolyat was staring at the Commander with concern and regret. It was clear he was expecting her to be angry with him.</p><p>“Kolyat, this isn’t your fault. I was the one that caused you to bleed. I should be apologizing for all of this.” Selene assured him with a comforting smile.</p><p>Kolyat gave her a small smile back, his courage to tease her returning. “So you admit that your sorry for cheating, then?”</p><p>Selene gave him smirk. “I said I should apologize, not that I was going to apologize.”</p><p>Kolyat chuckled lightly at her refusal to admit she cheated. The banter easing any tension he had been holding on to.</p><p>“Of course, Commander. I would not expect any different.” The man responded in a playfully arrogant tone.</p><p>“Hey, I can apologize!” Selene countered, mock offense tinging her voice.</p><p>“Like when you shot me? Or perhaps when you decided to try and see if you could toss me out a car window?”</p><p>Selene snorted in amusement at the remembrance of their first day together. She had put him through the ringer, and she had certainly feared she had pushed him too far. Regardless, she refused to apologize or reveal she had been worried he would hate her afterwards.</p><p>“I stopped you from shooting your father and you deserved the lesson in the car. Rule number one, always put your seatbelt on.”</p><p>“What are you, a poster child for C-Sec traffic control?” Kolyat teased.</p><p>Shepard just glared in response. However, the smile on her face giving away that she was enjoying their playful argument. Kolyat was enjoying it himself, if the flirtatious smile on his own lips was any indication.</p><p>Sobering, Selene motioned toward the bandages that covered his left forearm and hand. “How is your arm?”</p><p>Kolyat lifted the appendage, turning and flexing the muscles experimentally. "Healing. Dr. Chakwas says I just need to keep it bandaged for the rest of the day. Apparently, scales take longer to fuse after a hyper-controlled biotic attack. Feels fine though."</p><p>"That's good,” Selene nodded. “Turian’s are the same. Their skin is like tough leather under their metallic-bone plating. krogan’s, not so much. Their nervous system causes them to regenerate quick. The medi-gel just speeds it along.”</p><p>Kolyat filed the combat information away in the recesses of his mind. It might be useful in the field, if he ever got to use it.</p><p>“I'm glad you are recovering. I trust you have been following my orders and haven’t been training today?" She arched a perfect black brow at him, her eyes flashing dangerously in warning.</p><p>"Yes, Commander,” Kolyat chuckled. “My father has made sure of that."</p><p>A fond look replaced the steel in her eyes. "I can always count on Thane."</p><p>Kolyat's relationship with his father was mending slowly while they got to know each other again. Selene had noticed how Thane still tended to want to protect Kolyat too much, but the older drell was improving. It made her happy to see the two growing closer as the man in front of her learned to let go of his resentment and anger. She was unaware that Kolyat had overheard several of the crew discussing her relationship with his father and their suspicions about them being a couple.</p><p>Kolyat had long since buried his own suspicions of that possibility early on, after his father had revealed to him the events that had led to his mother’s death. The way in which Thane spoke of Irikah, it was clear the man was still very much in love with his wife’s memory and mourned her passing.</p><p>However, the admiration in which Selene spoke of the older drell, and Garrus on occasion, still caused a reluctant burning of jealousy in the younger man’s chest.</p><p>He was sure Garrus was only a friend, more like a brother really. The fact that the man had not attacked him last night in Zaeed’s place almost confirmed that. This left Kolyat to believe the young Commander was indeed single, but he had yet to decide what to do with that information.  </p><p>Kolyat decided to muster up any ounce of courage he posed while in front of Selene, and took a few quiet steps closer to where she leaned against the wall supporting her ship collection. </p><p>"Was there anything further you wished to discuss, Commander Shepard?" His deep voice dropped an octave or two as he tried to appear confident and not completely nervous. It felt like an angry nest of sea serpents was writhing in his stomach.</p><p>He was almost inappropriately invading her space. However, a dumber part of his self-preservation skills wanted to see if she would push him away or if she welcomed sharing her space with him. He was unsure how humans engaged in communicating mutual attraction. A drell would have possibly picked up on the subtle changes to his subvocal as he spoke. The playful banter that they had just shared could also be considered flirting, but he was uncertain.</p><p>It might be helpful to ask Kelly’s advice about human dating customs, he thought. Maybe the externet would be safer.</p><p>Shepard could feel the blush creeping up her neck again; she hoped her rooms were dim enough for Kolyat to not notice. He was standing particularly close to her; it wouldn’t take much effort to reach out and touch his handsome face.</p><p>His voice had sent those pleasant vibrations through her chest. Something Thane and Garrus only did when they were trying to comfort her. The feeling was familiar, but not quite the same. Kolyat’s rumble shot straight through her and settled somewhere in her lower pelvis. She tried not to think about how good the sensation felt and how much she wanted it to continue.</p><p>Her sensitive ears could hear the change in his dual-toned voice, which was a mark of his race. However, she did not possess the linguistic understanding that she knew other races had when communicating at different frequencies. She wondered if Kolyat was aware she could hear that he was saying something unspoken. She felt frustrated that she lacked the understanding to make sense of it.</p><p>Regardless, the Commander tried to concentrate on answering his question rather than how much she enjoyed his voice or how close he was at the moment.  </p><p>“Yes. There was something more I wanted to talk to you about.”</p><p>Kolyat took notice of the slight strain in Selene’s usually smooth voice, and it had nothing to do with her healing vocal cords. His lips quirked at the edge, but he remained silent as she continued.</p><p>"Your combat knowledge and skill has improved greatly in the last three months. The rest of the crew has nothing but high praise for your work and attitude.”</p><p>Well, that was not entirely true. Miranda still complained that Kolyat was disobedient and disrespectful, despite his quick mastery over the biotics she taught him. Zaeed and Grunt were begrudging in their evaluation of the man, but confessed to the blue drell’s skill with firearms. The rest was positive feedback. After their fight last night, Selene felt confident that Kolyat could join the ground team in missions.</p><p>"You did well handling yourself against me last night, and you did not back down when I surprised you with my biotics.”</p><p>Again, Kolyat noticed that she was still refusing to acknowledge that she had cheated or apologize for the fact that she had. Her next words startled any retort he might have had on the subject. </p><p>“I think you're ready to come on a mission with us, Kolyat,” Selene’s voice was firm. “This next one should be easy enough, but nothing is ever simple on this ship. It will allow me to assess how you work in a group, as well as under my command. We will go in with a small strike force, probably Garrus and your father since you have trained with them significantly. Based on how you do, we can discuss making you a permanent part of the squad rotation.”</p><p>Kolyat's lips parted slightly, his mind reeled at the knowledge that he was finally going to be joining her on a mission.</p><p>"You really think I'm ready?" He murmured.</p><p>"I think you have more than earned this chance,” Selene laughed, a breathy noise. “I know part of the reason you were trying to break your hands against the combat mechs last night was because you are frustrated with having to wait this long. Well, here's your chance. Show me what you got, Mr. Krios."</p><p>"Thank you, Commander, I will do as you all have trained me to. You will not regret this.” Kolyat had to contain his excitement and the sudden urge to pick the Commander up in a crushing hug.</p><p>He was sure that would be taking their private encounter too far.</p><p>"Glad to hear it." The Commander smiled, straightening her posture as she pushed off the side of the bulkhead.</p><p>Kolyat continued to beam at her, a rare open smile enveloping his usually quiet features. It wasn’t that the blue drell had trouble expressing himself. He was usually quick to ask questions about his curiosities, but there was a subtle sort of quietness that always seemed to follow him shortly after smiling or showing excitement.</p><p>It was as if he had not received proper encouragement or acceptance in being carefree with others. Selene empathized with the feelings. The insecurity was not born of the same stoicism that living for a singular purpose had instilled in his father. It was something else, something deeper that spoke of a desperate need to be cared for maybe.</p><p>Selene found herself wanting to reach out to the happy drell and envelope him into a hug that would let him know she could be there for him, if he wanted her to be.</p><p>The two of them continued to stare at each other, smiling and not realizing the distance between them was even closer than before.</p><p>Kolyat could make out the light splatter of freckles on her face and his own reflection in her shinning silver-green eyes. His eyes flickered down to her lips as her small pink tongue ran over them unconsciously. He felt himself respond to the action, his hands flexing at his side as he stopped himself from reaching out and burying them in her soft hair.</p><p>His eyes blinked rapidly, his breathing becoming shallow as he tried to think clearly through the pleasant haze that was settling in his brain. He had experienced this feeling before of course. It was electric, their pull toward each other. The nervous excitement of trying to decide the outcome of the first move.</p><p>The unknown was both torturous and enjoyable. Kolyat continued to pause, unsure how to proceed. He had never had feelings for an alien before. Let alone one who held authority over him.</p><p>Unknown to the drell, Selene was having similar thoughts. It had already been revealed to her that Kolyat at least found her attractive, but she was not sure if that translated to him being okay with her touching him. She was human after all and she had just had an alarming reaction to his naturally produced toxins. After going through what he had last night, she was not sure if he would appreciate her kissing him.</p><p>Finding her beautiful did not mean he wished to start a relationship with his commanding officer; Selene was also beyond casual relationships.</p><p>It occurred to her, just then, that she did not know if he had a significant other waiting for him back home. The suddenness of the thought was like a bucket of cold water to the face.</p><p>Before Selene could stammer out an excuse for him to leave, Joker’s voice echoed loudly on the overhead speakers.</p><p>"Hey, Commander!" his abrupt voice caused both of them to jump.</p><p>"Yeah Joker, what is it?" Shepard called, thankful for an excuse to look at the ceiling and not at the drell next to her.</p><p>"Miranda and Jack are having a . . . disagreement. Again. Can you please pry them apart because Zaeed and Grunt are having a hard time with it? I'm pretty sure Jack is about to tear out a bulkhead and we can't really have that happening. Open space and all. So, can you please go down there and do your bad ass Commander thing and stop them. They’re in the cargo bay."</p><p>Selene sighed tiredly. She was not sure if she was grateful or disappointed with the interruption, but breaking up the two biotic headaches again was not at the top of her list of things she enjoyed doing.</p><p>"Fucking <em>idiotas</em>. <em>Ellas siempre causan las problemas</em><em>."</em> Selene hissed.</p><p>It had not been the first time that Kolyat’s translator failed to pick up what the Commander was saying. He had yet to ask about it. The foreign language was usually so interwoven with her human galactic standard that he managed to piece together what she was saying.</p><p>“What is that? The language you are speaking. My translator cannot pick it up.” Kolyat asked as the Commander quickly went to the dresser built into the wall next to her bed. The irritated woman threw an oversized muscle shirt over her head, a picture of the Alliance logo displayed on the front.</p><p>As she stomped back towards him, motioning for him to follow her to the elevators she explained: “Most translators don’t, unless specifically programed for it,” she punched the button that would take them to engineering, “It’s Spanish. Not many outside of Earth speak it. No reason when everyone is required to learn galactic standard English in order get off planet. My mom secretly taught me since she was from Mexico.”</p><p>That was the most Kolyat have ever heard Selene speak about her family. Sometimes she mentioned correspondence from her aunt who was still serving in the Alliance, but it was rare to hear anything about her parents or her childhood. From what he understood, by the little his father revealed to him, she had not had a pleasant upbringing.</p><p>Her mother and father had passed away when she was fourteen and the Commander had been raised partially by her aunt and friends of the family. Her aunt had called in favors to allow Selene to enlist when she was sixteen and the young Commander had dedicated her life to the Alliance ever since.</p><p>Well, at least until her death and subsequent resurrection.</p><p>“Where was your father from?” Kolyat questioned as the elevator made its slow decent two floors down.</p><p>Kolyat knew nothing about the geography of Earth, but wished to learn everything he could about Shepard’s past. He almost regretted the question as a dark scowl came over her face, but she answered regardless.</p><p>“The United States. Just a boarder apart from each other. My mother grew up in Southern Mexico in Veracruz. They met in El Paso, at a party, when my mom was staying in the States on a school visa. My dad was just some kid from the <em>barrio</em> in Los Angeles, visiting some family I guess.”</p><p>The bitterness in which she spoke of her father was unmistakable. Kolyat was uncertain if he should press the matter.</p><p>The choice was taken from him as the doors to the elevator slid open with a helpful ding. The two paused in the threshold of the doors. They were unsure how to leave one another after such a tense private moment in her quarters and the personal conversation about Shepard’s family.</p><p>Kolyat took it upon himself to try and sooth the distraught woman after bringing up a clearly painful topic.</p><p>“Shepard.” His hand reached to brush her hair behind her ear, which earned him a wide eye stare as her attention turned to him and not the elevator floor.</p><p>“I apologize for bringing up what is obviously a sore subject. I just wished to know more about you.”</p><p>Shepard’s anxiety ebbed as she returned his smile, answering in a quiet voice, “You know you spend a lot of time apologizing to me.”</p><p>Kolyat breathed out a laugh, “Well that is just because I am the only one out of the two of us willing to do so.”</p><p>He was glad that his comment had not caused offense and was taken as the light teasing it was meant to be. The Commander shook her head in amusement, her smile widening.</p><p>The sound of metal crashing against metal broke the two from their moment.</p><p>“I have to go break them up before they put a hole in my ship.” Shepard commented reluctantly.</p><p>Kolyat nodded and watched as the small woman turned from him and disappeared through the doors that would take her down into the cargo bay. He watched from the windows as she grabbed a startled Jack by her vest and placed a biotically charged hand in front of Miranda’s face as she stepped between the two furious women. Then came the yelling and most likely the threats of what she was going to do to them if they insisted on tearing up her ship.</p><p>Kolyat shook his head at the Commander, a fond smile still playing at his lips. Her beautiful face was once again drawn in an expression of fury and vengeance. The scars across her body blazed against her skin. Her predatory eyes promised consequence for the two biotics who were now looking significantly more subdued with their CO tearing them a new one.</p><p>Kolyat marveled at the difference between the Selene down in the cargo hold and the woman he had just been flirting with a few moments ago. Her eyes had been so open and expressive, not with rage, but what he hoped was mutual attraction and intrigue. He had almost thrown caution to the wind and kissed her, but his nerves and Joker’s interruption had disrupted his chance.   </p><p>The infatuated drell could not help but wonder what would have happened if they had not been interrupted. Were they really about to kiss? Had she wanted him to make the first move? Was it proper for him to kiss her without permission? Would she think him foolish for asking permission?</p><p>So many questions swam through his head and he could not ask any of them. She was his commanding officer and their leader; it was almost impossible to believe that she would feel the same for him he felt for her.</p><p>Kolyat physically shook his head, staring one last time at the fierce woman below, before turning and stepping into the elevator. He returned to his rooms so he could be alone with his tumultuous thoughts.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Author’s Notes: This was a really enjoyable chapter to write. It reminded me of when my now husband and I first started to realize that we had had feelings for each other. It had taken us a little while to actually admitting that we liked each other, since we too worked with one another and had a supervisor/employee relationship. I was also in an unhealthy relationship with someone else at the time and my husband was respectful of that. But we still developed feelings over time and were nervous about them when we finally did not work together anymore and I was single. It was all worth it though. =^.^=</p><p>Also, the Spanish has finally been addressed. Those of you that have read this story before my rewriting of it know that Selene has always come from Mexican heritage. I myself am Mexican-Italian- American. I really like representing a bit of my culture into my character and I do that through the story in different ways. </p><p>However, I feel like it is important to note that I do NOT speak fluent Spanish. I have grown up around Spanish and Spanglish speakers in-and-outside my home. Selene falls more into the category of speaking more Spanglish than fluent Spanish. I will explain this a bit more as I develop the story, but it really has to do with this idea of certain cultures and people feeling like they have to abandon their native languages in order fit into a dominate culture. My family experienced that as they raised their children in the U.S, so I used that narrative within my story. </p><p>Sorry, just a side bit of information for you all. For those that are fluent Spanish speakers and writers, please fill free to correct my poor grammar if you notice it. I have had really inconstant instruction throughout my life. I am also American (U.S), so keep that in mind, we tend to butcher everyone else’s language. I apologize on our behalf!<br/>Thank you for reading, hope it has been enjoyable.</p><p>P.S: <br/>-Ellas siempre causan las problemas means: They always cause problems. <br/>-¡Vete a la mierda! means: Go to hell (roughly)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Defenses Weakening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am so sorry that this chapter is incredibly late. Unfortunately, my personal life is finally interfering with my ability to edit this story. I had a small medical scare that left me sick for the last couple weeks (I am fine now). Additionally, I am a teacher who is also in college and the end of the semester is becoming quite busy. </p><p>I promise you that I will not abandon this story, but I do ask for some patience and grace with future updates. I might try and get several chapters edited and wait to do a mass update. I am starting to get into the parts of the story where I am adding chapters and trying to integrate it with what is already written seamlessly. </p><p>Thank you so much for continuing to read and for the few reviews we have received. They are greatly appreciated ^.^ </p><p>Please enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shepard managed to finally drag herself to a shower after successfully pulling Jack and Miranda off each other. The two feuding women were now on armor and weapon maintenance duty for the next month. They were on alternating shifts of course; Selene could never trust them to play nicely in the confined space of the armory.</p><p>Miranda also had her XO duties to attend to, though the crew usually deferred to Garrus in Shepard’s absence.</p><p>Aboard a military ship, the two women’s actions would have gotten them confinement for two months and forfeiture of two-thirds pay per month they were restricted. Some COs still utilized corporal punishment as a means to break recruits that could not get along. It was not strictly sanctioned by the Alliance, but it still happened, especially on back-water planets.</p><p>Even though Cerberus was paying the squad a generous salary for their services, Selene never felt comfortable docking pay, considering the nature of their mission. Unfortunately, insubordination had to be delt with somehow. She was constantly reminded through events such as today that she was no longer in the Alliance.</p><p>Even though most of the crew came from a service background, she chose not to treat them with the same restrictions as the Alliance.</p><p>However, there were still rules and a chain of command aboard the ship. Jack and Miranda had participated in enough fights that their arguments were becoming a distraction to the rest of the team. This, Shepard could not allow. So, manual labor was the ship wide rule for those that could not follow orders or conduct themselves with some semblance of professionalism.</p><p>Garrus had offered his views on the matter, stating that he believed Shepard was being too lenient with the crew. It was an unsurprising sentiment considering how turians blended their militant service into the core of their society and culture.</p><p>Regardless, Shepard was happy with her solution. The crew usually managed to stay in line for a while before the next altercation, then that person was used as an example for everyone else.</p><p>Honestly, with the motley crew she had managed to piece together from the Illusive Man’s suggested list of operatives, she counted herself lucky that they chose to listen to her at all.</p><p>Under the Alliance, she had her rank to fall back on. On this mission, the titles, “Commander,” and “Spector” had little effect on people who she would have hunted two years prior. Thankfully, she had won the loyalty and trust of most of the squad and crew through her actions. Shepard could put up with a little disobedience after asking them all to sign their life away by joining her on their suicide mission.</p><p>Once Shepard had properly showered and dressed herself, she made her way to the conference room where Garrus, Mordin, and Tali sat waiting. She listened as the scientist and quarian engineer updated her on the decryption of the reaper IFF they had acquired over three months ago. The device would supposedly allow the Normandy to pass through the Omega-3 Relay safely. Whatever was on the other side would hopefully not register them right away and allow them time to navigate the uncharted area before any fight broke out.</p><p>However, the device was extremely complicated and heavily encrypted with software and tech not used by any species in the last several hundred millennia. Shepard had even taken the IFF to Liara back on Illium so they could utilize her prothean expertise. The former archeologist had marveled at the advancement of the device, but had confirmed the Commander’s suspicions that the tech appeared much older in origin than the prothean era.</p><p>Mordin and Tali assured the Commander that they would figure it out. With the help of EDI, and Legion to Tali’s chagrin, the group was making great strides in deciphering the IFF’s unfamiliar code. The Collectors had gone silent since the crew’s investigation of the derelict reaper, so Selene believed that they had some time available to them.</p><p>The suggestion of more time was both a blessing and a tragedy. The crew of the Normandy might have been given the time they needed to crack the code of the IFF, but the poor people from the colonies that had already been abducted were most likely suffering, if not already dead, on the other side of the enigmatic relay.</p><p>The unfortunateness of the situation caused Shepard to privately burn with shame and anger knowing that she had been too late in saving half the people on Horizon. The attack on the colony had been too soon in Shepard’s mission and the collectors had had them in their possession behind the Omega-3 Relay for months now. Unfortunately, the Commander knew after nine years in the military that not everyone was always going to make it home.</p><p>She almost hadn’t-- if it wasn’t for Cerberus’ interference, she would still be dead.</p><p>From today’s update, it sounded like the team working on the IFF were making progress. However, it would still be some time before they could test and integrate it to the Normandy’s systems. Shepard nodded along with their report and thanked them for their work. As she dismissed them, the Commander turned her attention to Garrus.</p><p>The two discussed the necessary upgrades they still needed to apply to the Normandy the next time they made port. Garrus also took her through a breakdown of his own calibrations of the thanix cannons they had installed while accepting Kolyat as a recruit. The turian believed he had finally tweaked the algorithms enough that the devastating guns should be formidable against the collector’s ship. </p><p>As the two wrapped up their work in the conference room, they made their way to the crew deck to grab a quick protein bar snack before heading down to the cargo bay to check on squad training. It would be supper time in a few hours and the Commander wanted to make sure everyone obeyed the training policy this time.</p><p>Garrus chuckled as they rummaged through the cabinets in the kitchen, commenting that he had noticed she had not assigned Kolyat to kitchen duty after his little stunt the night before.</p><p>Shepard could hear the teasing accusation in her friend’s voice. She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest as she addressed him, “You got something to say about that Garrus?”</p><p>Shepard’s normally intimidating expression didn’t work on the large turian. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief.</p><p> “I am just saying, Jacob had only gone over his instruction time by an hour. You had him playing maid to Gardner for four weeks.”</p><p>“Jacob has been apart of the Normandy significantly longer than Kolyat, and he was unnecessarily drawing out a punishment on a new recruit. Not to mention the handful of times he and Miranda have not-so-subtly tried to take control or ignore orders.”</p><p>Garrus knew Shepard had a point, but he still suspected his friend of purposefully taking it easy on the blue drell. Turian’s had a keener sense of smell than most species; the sex pheromones that Shepard and Kolyat unconsciously released around each other were subtle, but unmistakable. Especially after his years working with alien’s in C-Sec.</p><p>Kolyat’s ogling also made it fairly obvious as well. The longer the two worked around each other, the more Garrus was starting to believe that Selene was not only reciprocating the young drell’s crush, but becoming more aware of it herself.</p><p>Admittedly, there was a deep part of him that yearned for his suspicions to be proven wrong. Jack’s advice about just telling Selene how he felt circled his mind constantly. Unfortunately, Garrus knew that any chance he had with the Commander had flown out the window when Kadian had accused Selene of betraying the Alliance.</p><p>Before Garrus and Selene could continue their conversation, EDI’s voice called from above, sounding throughout the crew deck.</p><p>"Commander. I have picked up an anomaly on the planet below. Scans indicate that an archeological dig site exists on the surface. The facility has been invaded by Blue Suns mercenaries.” There was a hesitant pause that felt entirely too organic for an AI, before EDI continued, "A prothean signature has been detected inside the dig site, similar to the beacon that you recovered on Eden Prime."</p><p>Selene froze, her eyes glossing over as she recalled her discovery of the prothean beacon on her first mission aboard the original Normandy. The mission that had ended with Specter Nihlus Kryik’s death, the escape of Saren and the geth, and the distorting of her own mind as the beacon had forced unfamiliar images into her head. Thankfully, she had survived that encounter. However, the visions and subsequent nightmares which followed had been difficult to decipher. With the help of Liara, several other beacons, and even Shiala’s shared cipher, Selene had managed to pick apart the prothean warning of the impending reaper envision. However, Shepard had never managed to remain conscious following her contact with a beacon.</p><p>The Commander refused to meet Garrus’ concerned eye as he grabbed his smaller friend by her shoulders. Garrus could see the Commander’s walls slam into place as her silver-green eyes grew detached and cold.  Regardless, he made an attempt to dissuaded here from going down to the planet.</p><p>"Selene, forget it. You know what happened the last time you came in contact with the last two beacons.  You fainted both times and had nightmares for <em>months</em>."</p><p>They both knew the reapers were coming and they had their mission against the collectors. What more could the beacons offer them that was worth her mind?</p><p>The Commander’s steely expression did not change at Garrus’ words. Behind her she could hear rushing footsteps.  </p><p>Thane had sprinted out of life support before his son could ask him what EDI had been talking about. The blue drell followed behind anxiously, confused about the urgency in his father’s strides.</p><p>Selene glanced over as Thane came into view, her hardened expression revealing the decision she had already made.</p><p>Without moving from her position in Garrus’ hands, she called to Thane and Kolyat behind him. “Suit up-- the both of you. You're both coming with me on this one."</p><p>“Shepard, don’t do this.” Garrus pleaded one last time.</p><p>Selene gently removed herself from his grasp, the slight squeeze she gave his wrist softened the hardened expression that met him.</p><p>“I’ll be fine, Garrus. Don’t worry. Keep the ship safe for me while I’m gone.”</p><p>She turned on her heel, moving past Thane and Kolyat, immediately heading to her rooms to change for the unplanned mission. </p><p>"Spirits be fucking damned!” Garrus growled. “Where is Tali?"</p><p>Several stunned crewmen shifted awkwardly at the mess tables as the turian stormed past the two unmoving drell toward the elevators. The doors slid closed as he went in search of the only other person, besides Joker and Chakwas, who would truly understand why he was so concerned.</p><p>"What is going on?" Kolyat asked Thane softly, breaking the tension left behind from Selene and Garrus’ exit.</p><p>"Go get ready for the mission,” Thane responded quietly. “Our Commander has given us an order."</p><p>Kolyat blinked a few times, briefly considering his options. However, the older drell’s stern look halted his need to question further. He returned to his room, feeling apprehensive for his first mission for several reasons.</p><p> </p>
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</p><p>Kolyat sat nervously in the Kodiak, waiting for Shepard and his father. Thane had told him to go wait in the shuttle while he took care of <em>something</em>. Kolyat wondered what he was doing; perhaps he was speaking with Shepard?</p><p>The blue drell took a steady breath and exhaled, rubbing his gloved hands over his new armored leather pants. He had yet to use the combat gear that his father had purchased for him back on the Citadel. The pristine shine of the light metal plating caught the light as he shifted nervously.</p><p>Kolyat's head jerked up when he heard someone climb into the shuttle, armor boots clanking against the metal. Shepard’s dark head of hair appeared and his muscles untensed.</p><p>The Commander’s long hair had been pulled back into a braid, exposing her lightly scarred face more than usual. Her silver-green eyes swept the Kodiak with a keen gaze.</p><p>“I am not sure where he is,” Kolyat murmured, answering her unspoken question. “He told me to wait here for his return. I assumed he might be speaking with you.”</p><p>Shepard’s right hand reached for the comm at her ear as she spoke into the mic at her wrist. “Thane, where the hell are you?”</p><p>The assassin’s answer came quickly: “Forgive me, Commander. I am on my way now. I will be in the elevators in a few moments.”</p><p>Selene grumbled in irritation at Thane’s insubordination, but she begrudgingly chose to let it go. She had her own worries at the moment and did not feel like adding arguing with the cryptic drell to the list.</p><p>Kolyat watched the Commander silently for a few beats, taking in the subtle signs of anxiousness that was normally never present when she left for a mission.</p><p>Without thinking, he spoke. "Why are you so scared?"</p><p>Shepard’s eyes flashed in warning as she looked at him, her expression growing guarded. “I am <em>not</em> scared.”</p><p>"Then, what is wrong? Everyone began to freak out when EDI told you about the prothean beacon. Even Dr. Chakwas ran from the med bay to see what was going on." Kolyat stood from his seat, moving right in front of her. The towering drell once again crowded her space as his large arms held on to the bars above them, a challenging stare as his large eyes trained on her.</p><p>Selene refused to back down as he drew close, her jaw setting in a stubborn lock. "It's nothing important, they're overreacting."</p><p>Kolyat leaned his head close to her, almost nose-to-nose when he murmured: "Bullshit. You're lying and I can see it in your eyes. What's going on, Selene?"</p><p>That had only been the second time Shepard could remember him using her first name. The foreignness and pleasant intimacy of hearing her name roll off his tongue causing her to falter. </p><p>Selene bowed her head, breaking eye contact with the bold drell as he continued to gaze down at her. The way Kolyat nudged her, not accepting her refusal to answer and forcing his way past her carefully constructed walls was unsettling. Most of her friends and crew backed down when she shut them out, accepting that she had her own secrets and fears she did not want exposed. Being emotionally challenged was not something Selene had experienced in a long time.</p><p>Shepard knew she could physically push him away, kick him from the Kodiak for being too forward with his commanding officer and refuse to allow him on the mission. She could just tell him to mind his own business and sit his ass down. However, there was something about the drell that made her want to open up to him. It was something that went far beyond a simple attraction.</p><p>"I’ve come into contact with other prothean beacons before. If there is a beacon down there, I will have to do it again.” Shepard shifted uncomfortably before continuing, “The images I see aren't pleasant and are not designed for a human brain to process. Luckily, I'm able to handle it and take in the information, but the side effects are . . . taxing. I usually pass out. I have nightmares and I lose sleep."</p><p>Selene finally raised her eyes, surprised at herself by how much she had actually revealed, but she continued nonetheless. "Garrus, Tali, Chakwas and Joker saw these side effects and they worry for me. Near the end of our mission to catch Saran, I was able to synthesis the images better and the nightmares began to stop. Now I just have to see if I can still do that again."</p><p>As she finished, his eyes swept back and forth across her face. Whatever she had seen in the previous beacons must have been truly terrible. He thought of the additional dismissal of the council and Alliance, and the rejection of this information, how stressful that abandonment must feel. How much it must hurt under all that armor.</p><p>Kolyat wanted to reach out to her. To give her some kind of comfort, to show that he was there for her if she accepted. He knew nothing he said would change her mind about going to the planet. However, he could offer whatever comfort she would allow or need afterwards. </p><p>They sat there for several beats, gazing at one another in silence. Their breathing mingled as they remained close. Kolyat could smell the clean scent of her hair and could count the light freckles across her nose.</p><p>"You have to do what you have to do Commander,” Kolyat murmured, breaking their silence. “But you know we are all here for you." He shifted closer, if that was possible, before continuing in an even softer voice, "<em>I'm</em> here for you."</p><p>Although he spoke on a barely audible breath, Selene heard him clearly in the quite space of the shuttle. A pleasant warmth spread through her body from the intimacy of the statement, her head felt fuzzy with unspoken desire as she peered back at him. It meant more to her than he knew that he was accepting her decision and offering to be there for her when it was finished.</p><p>Neither of them moved. It was clear they were on the precipice of <em>something</em>. No one had made her feel so secure but upheaved before, and she wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed. A small stab of insecurity kept her rooted in place, though she wanted to press close to his body more than ever. Kolyat looked completely different from the young, lost boy they had taken aboard months ago. His bulk was more prominent, fingerless gloves stretched over more experienced hands, and the charcoal gray drell armor lay over newly formed muscles. The cool confidence he exuded nearly caught her breath every time they were in close quarters.</p><p>Before either Kolyat or Shepard could make a move, their third-party member decided to make his appearance. Thane’s quiet footsteps outside the shuttle forced Kolyat to hold Selene’s gaze only a few moments longer before he subtly shifted away and moved back to his seat. Selene remained standing below the railing Kolyat had been leaning against, her heartrate elevated and her breathing still rattled.</p><p>Thane froze in the shuttle doorway, keen eyes picking up on the tension between his son and the Commander immediately. Kolyat’s eyes were fixated on the wall next to him, while Shepard turned away quickly to speak to the pilot in the cockpit.</p><p>He gave his son a scrutinizing look as he sat in front of the younger man, but remained quiet.</p><p>Kolyat could feel his father’s stare burning into his skull, but he kept his eyes downcast. His gaze scanned his father’s boots, up to the dark red and black outfit clinging to his form.</p><p>"Are we a matching set now?" he snorted.</p><p>Shepard cut her eyes over to Thane, smirking as she saw he was wearing the new suit she had bought him as well. The vest was the same as Kolyat's, armor-plated with a built-in venting mod so moister would not collect on his vulnerable chest. Thane’s suit was still moderately less armored than his son’s, the assassin preferred optimal moveability, rather than weighted protection. </p><p>As she sat across from him, careful to leave ample amounts of space between Kolyat and herself, she turned her attention fully on Thane. "You didn't want to wear the glasses I got you?"</p><p>"As I told you before, I refuse to wear those. You should take them, since you were so fond of them." There was an edge of teasing in his monotone voice.</p><p>"Maybe I will. Unless Kolyat want's them?"</p><p>Kolyat folded his arms behind his head as he stretched out his long legs, relaxing into the seat. "No, thanks. I'm too pretty to hide my face behind those monstrosities."</p><p>Thane shook his head in fondness at his son's ego, noting how much bolder he had become in his pursuit of the Commander’s affection, and the small smile that graced Shepard’s face.</p><p>Thane was almost positive they had not revealed their feeling for one another, but he had surely interrupted a couple charged moments by now. Thane might need to have a talk with his son soon, not certain of the boy’s history with relationships and intimacy. With someone of a different race it was even more crucial.</p><p>As their relationship was still healing, the conversation was sure to be awkward. He was almost positive Kolyat would reject his meddling in the matter; however, he owed it to Kolyat to warn him of the burdens that might come with such a union if he was determined to pursue any relationship with Shepard.</p><p>He also owed it to Shepard to make sure Kolyat would be respectful towards the woman.</p><p>The Kodiak shuttered as the pilot informed the group in the back they were taking off. The trio buckled up and prepared themselves for the descending fight below.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the shuttle touched down, the Commander began to bark out orders as she led her team through the doors.</p><p>"Thane, sniper out. Get over to the right. Kolyat, assault rifle, move to the left but stay close."</p><p>Selene moved behind a center crate as Thane made his way to the far right. Kolyat positioned himself to the left but stuck per her instructions. The Blue Suns soldier that had seen them landing came back out from the prefabricated building in front of them, and he brought some friends along with him. Selene held her fist up, signaling for Thane and Kolyat to hold their fire. The Blue Suns were scattered across the landing zone. The planet’s two moons gave off enough light that reflected off the deep blue metal of the enemy’s armor as they searched for Shepard’s team.</p><p>Selene whispered to Thane through her comm to set his sniper to silent and to wait for Kolyat and her to get into position. She took out her own sniper, the soft hiss of it unfolding was lost on the night wind. Kolyat watched her click her own silencer on, sighting the furthest merc.</p><p>"Thane, follow after me. Kolyat, stay down."</p><p>The Commander moved to a better position before aiming, taking a carful breath as she did. Selene exhaled slowly, squeezing the trigger at the perfect moment. The bullet went right through her target’s helmet, dropping him silently over the cliff’s edge.</p><p>The only other person that could have been there to witness the shooting was unable to call a warning as Thane's bullet struck cleanly between his eyes. He soon followed his friend over the edge. Two more troopers were making their way to where Kolyat crouched in waiting.</p><p>Two Legionnaires and a turian Commander covered the entrance while three troopers came slowly up the middle. It was clear none of the mercenaries knew of their exact location. However, there was not enough cover to maneuver around the small landing area and pick them off silently.</p><p>Selene switched to her assault rifle quickly, making eye contact with Kolyat and nodding. Once the two chose to expose their cover, they would give away their position and a dangerous fire-fight would ensue. Shepard took a few seconds to pray that she had made the right decision to allow Kolyat on the mission, before springing from her cover, signaling for the drell to do the same. </p><p>Selene moved fast, aiming her rifle at the three troopers in the middle walkway. She took out each one with careful bursts of fire from her weapon. The two to her left were unable to respond quickly enough as Kolyat unloaded his own precise shots at them.</p><p>The two moved forward together, keeping behind objects and staying out of each other’s line of fire. Thane provided enough cover fire to keep the three remaining Blue Suns members from getting a clear shot at them. </p><p>Soon, the open space was silent as the last enemy fell to the ground. Shepard gave out a sharp whistle to notify Thane he should join them on the ground. Selene instructed her men to give a quick survey of the area, picking up thermal clips and tagging crates of element zero so it would be sent up to the ship.</p><p>The group moved through the rest of the dig site slowly, but relatively smoothly. Selene and Thane had a natural rhythm that they had developed over the half year they had worked together. Kolyat seemed to fit right into their formation.</p><p>Selene was impressed at the ease in which the young drell took instruction, moving when she told him to and being mindful of friendly fire. She noticed there were times he adjusted his position naturally, without needing to be ordered. He appeared confident in rotating between his assault rifle, pistol, and occasionally his biotics.</p><p>Kolyat did not seem tempted to take the same foolish risks that she had seen so many other rookies make, and he held a calm patience before striking out with a decision of his own. Shepard was sure that Kolyat could be permanently integrated into the mission rotation with little issue.</p><p>The final merc fell as Selene swung the butt of her gun into her face, followed by her knife into the opening between the woman’s helmet and body armor. Shepard shoved her chest as the woman dropped to the floor, lifeless eyes staring off into nothing.</p><p>Shepard cleaned her blade with the small canteen of water at her hip, before taking a drink from it herself. She returned the knife to its home on her thigh and swept several, sweaty strands of dark hair out of her eyes.  </p><p>The Commander assessed the two drell next to her. “How are we doing?”</p><p>Selene noticed a small grimace of pain on Kolyat’s face as he lifted his right arm, passing their shared water back to his father.</p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>He waved his good arm in front of him dismissively. "It's nothing. The damn turian pulled his gloves off and swiped at me with his claws. It was either, take a chunk out of my arm or my face."</p><p>Selene walked over and gently took his right arm in her gloved hands. The leather from his elbow to the top of his shoulder was torn, light pink blood seeping through. It was a slow trickle. Regardless, Shepard dug in one of the pouches at Kolyat’s hip, looking for a medi-gel applicator. The skin at his neck burned brightly as he shifted awkwardly.  </p><p>“Always take the time to apply med-gel when you get the opportunity,” Shepard mumbled as she stuck him none to gently with the healing device.</p><p>Shepard watched the blood stop flowing as the wound clotted immediately, his scales starting to mend back together slowly. She noted that Kolyat would have a decent scar to take back with him to the Normandy.</p><p>“Well, you earned your first scar. It’s going to be a big one too. Would have been a pity if it had been your face.” Shepard teased as she shifted back into a standing position.</p><p>“Actually Commander, my first scar was when you chose to shoot me back at the Citadel,” Kolyat arched a brow ridge, teasing her back.</p><p>Shepard laughed and shook her head as she turned back to the doors that led to the next room. The group carefully walked through with their guns drawn.</p><p>The large space they entered was half built into the side of a dirt excavation site. A familiar corner of a prothean pyramid took up much of the room; an equally familiar glowing beacon sat in front of the structure.</p><p>Selene's face was guarded as she took a deep breath and stepped towards the beacon with slightly trembling hands.</p><p>"Selene." Thane's deep voice was laced with caution.</p><p>The woman looked over her shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. "I'll be fine. Don't worry. Just be prepared to carry me back to the ship if I pass out."</p><p>Kolyat's eyes were fixed on her back as she pressed the keys on the interface. The text on the keys were not in any language he could read, but Shepard appeared to know which buttons to tap regardless.</p><p>Suddenly, Shepard's head was thrown back, her body lifted from the ground as her arms spread out. A fluorescent green glow enveloped her body and her eyes were blown wide, but her gaze flitted around rapidly, watching something only she could see. Time crawled by as Kolyat’s anxiety grew, until finally she was released from the beam and he immediately crowded near her.</p><p>The Commander swayed on her feet. She gave them a weak smile before she crumbled to the floor.</p><p>"Joker, tell Chakwas to be ready with the provisions we set up. Selene has lost consciousness and we are returning now," Thane spoke quickly into his comm.</p><p>The green drell turned to the fallen Commander, ready to pick her up, but Kolyat scooped her up in his arms securely first. His son gave him an expectant look to lead the way, leaving no room for argument.</p><p>Thane turned for the doors, Kolyat jogging behind him, and they made their way through the facility and back to the ship.</p><p> </p>
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</p><p>Kolyat walked through the medbay doors behind his father, Selene limp in his arms. As the man entered the room fully, he realized what his father must have been doing before the mission. </p><p>The blinds had been drawn shut and a bed was made up with various different monitors and IV packs surrounding it. Both Mordin and Dr. Chakwas were waiting for them and motioned Kolyat to place Shepard on the bed. As Kolyat gently set Shepard down and moved away, Dr. Chakwas pulled a privacy curtain around them and asked the men to wait as she stripped the Commander out of her armor.</p><p>Kolyat felt the tension in his muscles clench as Mordin received the bits of armor that Chakwas passed to him from beyond the curtain. The young man felt helpless as he watched Shepard’s armor and clothing disappear down two separate chutes: one to the armory and the other to laundry. A stack of clean clothes was given to Chakwas next.</p><p>The sound of light water being collected from a bowl set his nerves on edge, and Kolyat watched the shadow of the doctor make several passes with a cloth over the Commander’s body before dressing the unconscious woman in her bed clothes.</p><p>Finally, after what felt like hours, Chakwas removed the privacy curtain and revealed that she had applied several holo monitors to the Commander’s face and body. The small circular blue pads gave out a soft vibration against the center of Selene’s chest, temples, and between her eyes.</p><p>The two doctors continued to work around the woman for several more minutes, occasionally commenting on Shepard’s rapid eye movement. Kolyat’s own eyes were transfixed on the soft rise and fall of Selene’s chest, thankful for the indication that she was indeed still alive. She had not moved an inch since dropping to the floor at the dig site and the blue drell’s nerves were on end.</p><p>Kolyat noticed the slight glint of the necklace at the Commander’s neck. The gold and red stones of the unfamiliar pendent at her neck a matching set with the ring on her left hand. He had seen the jewelry before on several occasions, Selene only removed the two pieces when she was sparring, but he had yet to ask her about them. He filed it away in his memory to ask her about their importance later.</p><p>Seeing her now, without armor or weapons, she seemed so small in the bed surrounded by machinery, the occasional beep of her pulse fading to background noise. The scars from the Lazarus Project, and new ones from recent mission, stood out sharply against the fresh white linen. The bitter realization that every single one of them could lose their life on a mission nearly made Kolyat sick.</p><p>His opportunity to know Selene beyond her guarded walls could slip away like water through his fingers.</p><p>Chakwas finally stepped back from her patient and allowed Mordin to finish the additional scans on the Commander. A holo brace was hooked to her arm, a device that would allow the doctors to monitor her throughout the night. The device would send an alert to both doctors if anything went amiss.</p><p>The gray eyed medic tiredly made her way over to Kolyat and Thane and gave them a reassuring smile.</p><p>“Shepard is going to be okay,” she offered before they could pester her with hundreds of questions.<br/>
“Like always, she is physically fine. We are still taking precautions to limit the neural strain that the beacon forces on her. The muscle massagers that I placed on her body should cause her to relax, instead of tensing up throughout the night. Making sure she is comfortable and monitored is all we can do for her I am afraid; the rest is up to her.”</p><p>Despite the doctor’s assurance, it was clear that Chakwas was bothered by the limited aid they could provide.</p><p>“Mr. Krios,” Dr. Chakwas addressed Thane. “Thank you for all of your suggestions of setting this up ahead of time. Your proposal to treat her with a small dose of trazodone II might allow her to escape the onset of nightmares she usually experiences.”</p><p>The older drell only bowed in respect, hoping that their efforts had not been in vain. Out of anyone aboard the ship, Selene deserved the most help in achieving peace.</p><p>“What is trazodone II?” Kolyat questioned his father.</p><p>“I believe your people call it ‘Empty Memories,’” Dr. Chakwas answered. “Human’s use it as an antidepressant medication to balance chemicals in the brain. It is found to improve PTSD symptoms in soldiers.” </p><p>His mother, Irikah, had been a medical research assistant and occasionally he would pickup on the odd bits of information she spoke about her research. He remembered this ‘Empty Memories’ drug being prescribed to drell who struggled with removing themselves from solipsism.</p><p>The blue drell vowed to thank his father for his forethought in helping Selene. Another thought occurred to Kolyat, taking him aback.</p><p>"Where are Tali and Garrus? I was positive they would be here when we arrived."</p><p>"Garrus is with Tali down in engineering and I am pretty sure Mordin sent Grunt and Zaeed down there as well. We couldn't have them up here and in the way. Joker might be with them as well. Just before you boarded, the crew was told to shut down for the night. Jeff went to the lower deck to wait things out with them I'm sure."</p><p>"And the rest of the crew?" Thane asked, cataloging everything he heard to supply Shepard with a thorough report when she awakened.  </p><p>"Samara is in her rooms meditating or praying. She had stopped in here shortly after your departure to ask if she could be of assistance. We told her Shepard might have need of her asari neural connection later on. When Liara had been with the old crew, she helped Selene’s nightmares immensely. It caused her to become weak and a bit ill, but it seemed to help and the nightmares stopped. I just hope it's not as bad this time, she doesn't rest enough as it is and she can't afford to lose more sleep."</p><p>The doctor shook her head as she massaged the bridge of her nose tiredly. After Dr. Chakwas informed Thane that the rest of the crew’s activities were unknown to her, Mordin finished his work over the Commander and offered to notify the team himself of Shepard’s situation. The older salarian briefly paused in his exit to assure the two men that his patient would be fine.</p><p>“She has a strong mind. Even stronger will,” Mordin offered before sweeping out of the medbay.</p><p>Chakwas noticed the troubled look creasing the younger drell’s face as he gazed helplessly at the Commander.</p><p>"She will wake on her own,” she murmured gently in Kolyat’s direction. “We can't do anything until then."</p><p>She gently squeezed his right bicep, and her eyes locked on the tear in the leather and the drying blood.</p><p>"You are hurt, and you did not tell us?" the doctor exclaimed.</p><p>"I did not think it was the best time,” Kolyat responded without taking her eyes off of Selene’s comatose form. “Besides, I'm fine. Selene needed your attention more than I did. She already applied medi-gel to it anyways."</p><p>Dr. Chakwas narrowed her eyes at the young man, inspecting the wound through the ruined material of his coat. The claw marks from whatever attacked him were already scarring over. His scales would probably be tender for the next couple days, and there truly was nothing she could do for the mark. All she could suggest was an external medi-gel treatment to help speed up the healing process.</p><p>She ordered him to remove the jacket and sit down as she collected the correct tools to clean the outside of the injury and properly wrap it after smoothing gel over it.</p><p>"Just like Selene,” she grumbled. “Never wanting help. Thinking you're invincible. Don’t come crying to me when this leaves a scar. Which it already has."</p><p>After his bicep was properly treated, she removed the bandages from his left forearm carefully and inspected the healed scales from last night’s debacle with a critical eye. The blue shine of newly grown scales was fit to her liking, and she declared him only partially mauled for the day.</p><p>Kolyat huffed a laugh and thanked her, crossing his arms over his chest.</p><p>“You need food and rest Mr. Krios,” Dr. Chakwas answered the unspoken question in Kolyat’s eyes. “You will be no help to her if you are dead on your feet. Go. Gardner prepared dinner early and I believe there is still some warm food on the stove that was set aside for you and your father.”</p><p>Kolyat debated how effective it would be to argue with the woman. The warning in her stormy eyes made him think better of it. With a discontented huff, Kolyat stood and walked slowly from the room, a nod from his father indicated for him to leave ahead of the older drell.  </p><p>Chakwas lifted the security blinds from the window and watched as Kolyat ignored the kitchen in favor of going straight to the showers. The doctor shook her head in amusement.</p><p>"Your boy is becoming worse than this one. You know that, right?" Chakwas motioned to Selene’s sleeping form.</p><p>Thane chuckled and scrubbed a hand over his face. "I do believe that Selene is having an effect on my son, though he always was stubborn and rebellious. His mother was the only one who could set him straight. She had a power over him that I never did."</p><p>"And what was that?"</p><p>"He feared her."</p><p>The two shared a laugh, basking in the fond remembrance of parenthood. Thane might not have been present for Kolyat’s whole life, and Chakwas may have never given birth to any of the soldiers she considered to be her children. However, the pair understood the love that came with each small moment of caring for a young person and trying their best at steering them towards a better path.</p><p>Thane and Chakwas chatted for a few moments longer before the drell took his leave. His son was still missing from the mess hall and he believed it would be wiser to give the younger man his space. He decided he would join the crew in engineering. Hoping to elevate any concerns they might be having. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Selene's eyes fluttered open, her cybernetics allowing her to adjust to the darkness more quickly. The shadowy image of the medical bay came into focus as she gingerly sat up in bed. Memories of the dig site and the beacon came flooding back to her in a distorted scene of chaos.</p><p>The appearance of the collectors in the message had already been confirmed to be indoctrinated and mutated protheans by EDI several months ago.</p><p>However, there had been a glimpse of untouched alien worlds with familiarly shaped people like the collectors. Their many eyes were different shades of gold, emerald, and crystal blue. Some wore pristine, heavy red and gold armor, while others wore lighter armor with draping layers of cloth and wrappings. </p><p>There had been others, foreign alien’s among what Shepard guessed were actual protheans. Most had more than two eyes and even some with extra limbs. The natural beaty of the different landscapes and spaces had been a nice reprieve from the usual horrifying mutilation and hopeless war she usually was subjected to. The beacon had still been a clear warning of what was coming, giving a brief picture of what once was, compared to what had come.</p><p>Selene was not sure how they were going to beat the reapers, but she knew they had to keep trying. The alternative was not an option for her.</p><p>She swung her legs over the side of the bed slowly. Shepard stretched and twisted her back and neck, testing out her mobility and soreness before touching down on the cool metal floor, her socked feet shifting slightly. Usually she felt like she had gone twelve rounds with a raging krogan after coming in contact with a prothean beacon. She was happy to find she had no headache and her body did not feel any more tense than it usually did.   </p><p>She noted that her armor had been stripped and she was wearing a comfortable pair of her cotton shorts and shirt. Selene rubbed her hands over her exposed arms and legs, trying to get warm. It was freezing down in the med bay during the night cycle. The lights above usually gave off a pleasant heat that regulated the room’s temperature a bit more.</p><p>Selene started to plan how she was going to make the least amount of noise and escape the medbay once again for the confines of her much warmer room. The light from her holo brace caught her attention before she could put her thoughts into action.</p><p><em>Looks like the doctors finally got smart about trying to keep me from leaving</em>, Selene thought with equal parts amusement and irritation.</p><p>She barred her teeth at the innocuous device. Shepard hated when Chakwas put it on her. She felt like she was under house arrest, or a collared animal. The minute she removed the damn thing, alarms would go off on the older woman's omini tool, alerting her to Selene's attempt at escape from the medical room.</p><p>Selene continued to glare at the glowing device, trying to figure out if she wanted to take it off and deal with Chakwas fussing over her or just sneak to her room and leaving it on. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of cabinets closing in the mess.</p><p>Selene tried to make out the identity of the person in the kitchens, but not even her enhanced eyesight could tell who was shifting around outside.</p><p>Shepard ignored the device on her arm and stepped out of the room to investigate the late night snacker. Hopefully, whoever it was would be willing or able to share whatever it was they were making, the Commander thought as her stomach gave an audible growl.</p><p>As Shepard moved closer to the kitchen area, she could hear muffled music coming from the direction of the unsuspecting person. The tall frame of Kolyat’s blue scaled body came into focus and a pair of holographic head phones around the back of his head explained the music. Selene paused a few steps away from the counter that separated them, observing the man for a moment.</p><p>Kolyat only wore a pair of dark gray pants that tapered at his ankles, his wide back exposed to the Commander’s gaze. His scales were just as decorative on his back as they were down his front and arms. The black flowing lines reminding her of markings you might find on a beautiful cobalt snake.</p><p>The oblivious man swayed back and forth to whatever he was listening to, his naked feet performing a small two-step every few seconds. A pleasant hum came from his lips as he made himself a sandwich to accompany whatever stew Gardner had prepared that evening. When Kolyat’s hips gave a light sway, a trickle of laughter escaped Selene’s lips.  Kolyat remained unaware as the music blared in his ears.</p><p>Shepard crept unseen towards the countertop, leaping onto the surface and crossing her legs as she patiently waited for him to turn around.</p><p>Kolyat topped off his hearty sandwich with the last of the bread he had found. The man had wedged so much stuff in between the two pieces, that it was almost over flowing. He searched the cabinets in front of him one last time, trying to find the kelp chips that reminded him of the ones back home.</p><p>The blue drell turned to search the second set of cabinets below. He nearly leapt a foot in the air when he caught Shepard smiling at him from atop the counter, letting out an embarrassing squawk. His beloved chips dangled from her fingertips in front of him.</p><p>Shepard’s eyes widened as Kolyat fell back into the cabinets he had just been searching through. She had figured he had been searching for the chips she had hidden. The drell was known to inhale the snacks faster than she could resupply them.</p><p>His hand flew to his omini-tool, powering off his headphones and the loud music. She muffled her laughter in her hand and arched a brow.</p><p>"Shepard,” he sighed, rubbing at the sore spot forming on the back of his head. “How long have you been sitting there?"</p><p>"I have been sitting here for only a few seconds. I have been in the room long enough to know you would have made a terrible assassin. Possibly a good dancer though? <em>Muy bueno</em>.”</p><p>Her playful wink nearly made the skin of his neck erupt in flames. Collecting himself, Kolyat playfully glared at her and snatched the bag of chips from her outstretched arm. "What does that mean?"</p><p>Shepard’s smile was warm as she replied, "Very good."</p><p>“Well, I hope you enjoyed the view, <em>Commander</em>” Kolyat smiled flirtatiously before turning back to his plate.</p><p>Selene’s own bravado faltered a fraction, her face glowing pleasantly at the low rumble of his voice. Her eyes shifted to the massive sandwich on his plate as he turned to her.</p><p>"Want to make me one of those?" she blinked at him demurely.</p><p>"That’s cute,” he commented. “Your trying to act innocent."</p><p>Selene’s face scrunched in mock defeat, appearing even more endearing to Kolyat.</p><p>As he set the plate down next to her on the counter, Kolyat pulled a knife from the cutlery drawer and sliced the sandwich in half. He pushed the plate closer to her, lifting his half up to his mouth and nearly dropped it at the sight of her beautiful, grateful smile.</p><p>That smile was starting to be one of his favorite things in the galaxy.</p><p>Selene picked up the sandwich and took a massive bite; she was clearly famished. Neither one of them had been present for dinner and Kolyat had been too exhausted and stressed to eat after. However, the fight against the Blue Suns’ mercenaries and the fact that the two were both biotics caused them to feel starved.</p><p>Selene swallowed her bite, turning her attention on Kolyat. "Thank you for this. I was so hungry."</p><p>"No problem. You didn’t even eat before the mission, so you should be hungry."</p><p>Kolyat noticed she had yet to remove the holo pads on her face. He hid his grin by taking another bite of his meal, passing the large bowl of vegetable stew in Shepard’s direction.</p><p>Selene gave him another grateful look as she rummaged for a spoon in the drawer near her knee. A peaceful silence descended on them as they ate together alone for the first time.   </p><p>"How are you feeling, Shepard?" Kolyat’s soothing voice washed over her.</p><p>"Surprisingly good,” Selene answered around a mouth full of bread, greens, and seared fish. She swallowed before continuing. “No headaches, but I still had the dreams. They were not as terrible as before. I actually got to see what the galaxy looked like before the reapers destroyed it 50,000 years ago.” She ducked her head and briefly closed her eyes. "It was beautiful, but also a reminder of what’s at stake if we fail.”</p><p>Kolyat finished his dinner, leaving a portion of the stew for Selene to finish herself. The young drell leaned against the counter she sat on, resting his arm close to her exposed leg. His hand itched to reach out and draw her in, but their flirting had yet to go beyond brief teasing and unspoken, charged chemistry.</p><p>"If there is anyone in the galaxy that can stop the reapers, Shepard, it’s you,” he answered honestly. “If we don’t, at least we will die knowing we never gave up. Your efforts have given an ungrateful world the chance to live."</p><p>Kolyat’s comment brought a weak smile to the woman’s face as she finished the last bites of her meal. The drell’s confidence in her had caused a bit of warm comfort to settle in her chest, but it would take more than pretty words to accomplish what they were trying to do. Selene knew many people were going to lose their lives, maybe even whole planets. The scale in which they were all being asked to fight in was monumental, and she did not know if she could do it. </p><p>The blue drell watched as Shepard’s thoughts began to consume her, her silver-green eyes growing dull in the wake of her heavy burden. He didn’t know what he could do to alleviate the pressure, so he did the first thing that came to mind.</p><p>Kolyat reached out a large blue hand and lifted the Commander’s chin so their eyes met. His hand shifted to cup the side of her face, lacing through strands of her soft hair while his thumb rubbed over her cheekbone.</p><p>Shepard could feel tension and stress melt away slowly at the supportive look he gave her. He did not offer any more words, just his presence and silent understanding.  </p><p>Without fighting the urge, Selene leaned into his touch. She found the soft scales on the inside of his palm to be warmer than the outside. The contact felt good and for the first time in a long time she did not feel so alone. Sure, she had Garrus, Tali, Thane, and the rest of the squad, but this was different. Kolyat seemed to be offering something more. She was finding it hard to resist the more the two of them spent time together.</p><p>Selene watched his eyes flicker across her face, his lips twitching as if he was trying to hold back a smile.</p><p>"What?" she asked curiously.</p><p>Kolyat couldn’t help it. He reached out a hand and skimmed it over the three small holo pads on her head, taking them off and placing them on the counter.</p><p>Selene stared down at them and rubbed the places they had been. "That explains why I didn't wake up with a headache. They usually use those on biotics who get migraines or soldiers suffering major body pains."</p><p>"Yeah, Chakwas said it would help your body to not tense up. I’m glad it worked."</p><p>Kolyat gave her a crooked smile, his eyes passing briefly to the spot his hand had been a few moments ago. He looked like he wanted to reach out again, but he refrained and returned his arm to the countertop next to her leg.</p><p>He was happy that the interaction had seemed to break her from her melancholy thoughts. The shine of her necklace caught his eyes in the low glow of the floor lights.</p><p>“What exactly does that thing around your neck represent, and the matching ring?"</p><p>Selene fingered her cross. "It was my mother’s; she never took it off. It's just a small symbol of my faith. Some of these tattoos depict different verses or stories from the text that preserves the word of my God.”</p><p>“Only one god?” Kolyat asked in surprise.</p><p>Shepard nodded, giving him a brief overview of Christianity and how uncommon it would for him to come across any humans outside of Earth that still believed in the faith. Let alone, any form of religion or higher power.</p><p>Kolyat also shared his own experience with faith, confessing he had also been one of those people to turn away from the old beliefs. It had only been shortly after meeting her that he had chosen to delve back into his prayer books. His renewal of faith had pleased his father to no end, and sometimes the two drell could be found meditating in life support on different teachings or scripture from one god or another.</p><p>“So, what about the ring? Is it also connected to your religion?” Kolyat asked, passing his two middle fused figures over the gold and ruby softly.</p><p>Shepard reached out her hand for him to inspect. "This was my grandmothers. She gave it to my mom for her <em>quinceañera." </em>At his confused look, Selene explained the old coming of age ritual in her mother’s culture. It was celebrated when young women turned fifteen, signaling their budding entrance into adulthood and it was usually accompanied by making vows to God, a large party and gifts with many other symbolic natures to them.</p><p>“Ah, we have something similar. However, all young adults at the age of seventeen come together in the community’s plaza and celebrate. It used to be that some would fight and prove their worth as warriors or others would heal them afterwards to show they would be good healers. Now it is more of a festival where we are recognized as adults and given our necklaces as a show of passing into one stage of life into the next.” Kolyat lifted his own silver necklace from his chest, before letting the flat, heavy metal fall back into place.</p><p>"My mother gave me the ring on my fifteenth birthday. We were too poor to have a <em>quinceañera</em> . . . not like my father would let her give me one anyways."</p><p>Her face darkened as she mentioned her father.</p><p>Kolyat noticed she usually sounded like that when she spoke of her father. He knew the man had been terrible to her mother and her, but he didn’t know the intimate details. Curiosity burned inside him, and some anger, but he didn’t want Selene to retreat from this moment. </p><p>The drell didn’t hesitate this time. He reached out and caught her hand gently in his larger one, the skin contact making them both hold their breaths.</p><p>"Why did Kelly say it was on your marriage fingerer? What does that mean?" Kolyat finally choked out.</p><p>Selene laughed. "It's the finger my mother put it on. She said something about it only being replaced by my wedding ring." Again, Kolyat seemed lost. "Human's, when they get married, we usually give each other rings to symbolize our commitment to one another. Some cultures also do engagement rings to show that they plan to get married, and then later the wedding band when they perform the ceremony. <em>I’m</em> most certainly <em>not</em> married, so that always confuses people for a bit.”</p><p>"My people usually participate in something similar, but the trinkets are not only limited to rings. Our necklaces are important, they inform others if we are married, single, or in a committed relationship. To be absent of one usually symbolizes that the person is too young for marriage or not interested in pursuing a relationship.”</p><p>“Wow, that sounds a lot easier than human forms of dating. Usually you just have to take a guess and hope you don’t offend someone.” Shepard lightly smiled, not realizing her comment had answered some of the question’s Kolyat had been asking himself lately.</p><p>“We have other forms of communication that make it a bit easier to figure out if someone likes us, but it does not make the process of talking to them any less stressful.” Kolyat was specifically thinking of a lovely orange scaled girl from his school days. The girl had publicly rejected him when he had discreetly communicated his attraction to her through his subvocal. The result of his shame had been to lock himself in his room for the rest of the night.</p><p>Shepard’s hand tightened around his briefly. "What does your father's necklace signify?"</p><p>Kolyat's eyes flickered downward briefly before replying stiffly. "It means he is in mourning for a past spouse."</p><p>Selene nodded sadly, kicking herself mentally for asking. Her eyes caught the shine of Kolyat's own necklace and quickly tried to make up for her previous question. "And what does silver mean?"</p><p>Kolyat still had her hand in his, his thumb rubbing absent minded circle on the top. His eyes shifted mischievously as he returned his gaze to her.</p><p>His voice was lower and gave off that rumble from his subvocal that she was starting to suspect was his way of saying he liked her. "It means I am single."</p><p>Something in the conversation had just shifted. A puzzle piece slotted in the correct spot; a completed picture revealed. They had been slowly piecing together parts of an unknown and foreign equation throughout the night. Now, everything had come to a tipping point. They both knew they were single, and obviously they were interested in the other.</p><p>The tension thickened as they held each other’s eyes, their hands still intertwined. Kolyat’s gaze briefly locked on her full mouth, but a soft noise behind them brought their intimate moment to a crashing halt.</p><p>"Kolyat?"</p><p>His father's gravelly voice, thick with sleep, called from behind his son.</p><p>Kolyat nearly felt a growl build in his chest at having been interrupted once again by his father. </p><p>The blue drell gave Selene one last meaningful glance, knowing that his body was hiding most of her from his father. He gave her hand a light squeeze before scooping up the holo massagers that he had placed on the counter as he turned around.</p><p>Thane had his hands clasped behind his back, now fully awake and realizing that Shepard was the one sitting on the counter behind his son. The two had been very close again, and the older drell had picked up on the warning growl that his son had given before turning around.</p><p>“Father. What are you doing awake?" Kolyat managed to school his voice and tone into something that resembled neutrality.</p><p>"I woke to find you absent from your bed. I came to search for you here. I did not expect to find you in, <em>conversation,</em> with the Commander."</p><p>His hidden apology gained no reaction from the younger man, so Thane quickly turned his attention to Shepard. "Selene, how are you feeling?"</p><p>"Fine, actually,” Shepard smiled. “I think the holo relaxers helped. I don’t think I’ll be having a problem with nightmares this time."</p><p>"Though it would have been funnier to see her come down at breakfast with them on, I just helped her to remove the holo pads from her face," Kolyat’s lips quirked as he gently nudged Shepard’s shoulder with his own.</p><p>Selene gave him a glare, but she smirked back and jokingly punched him in the shoulder.</p><p>Thane was obviously not buying Kolyat’s excuse for their being so close. The older drell was unsure how much he <em>should</em> interfere with the pair’s growing relationship.</p><p>He just hoped neither one would become hurt if the other could not handle the difference in rank. As much as the Normandy functioned as an independent venture, Shepard was still their leader. </p><p>Before anything potentially embarrassing could be said, Shepard leapt down from her position on the counter, interrupting the intense staring competition between the father and son.</p><p>"Yeah,” Selene cleared her throat. “Well, I'm going to get to sleep. I think two trips to the medical bay in less than 48 hours has been enough for me."</p><p>She gave Kolyat a smile and thanked him for the meal. She earned a lopsided grin from the young drell and a nod in return. Shepard tried to hide her own smile behind a curtain of hair as she moved quickly past Thane.</p><p>“Night, you two.” She called over her shoulder, disappearing behind the wall that hid the elevator.</p><p>Kolyat's eyes followed her the whole way, only returning to his father’s when he heard the soft close of the elevator doors. Thane now had a thoroughly unimpressed expression on his face as he lifted a brow ridge in question, his large arms folded across his chest.</p><p>Kolyat picked up the dishes that he had used, placing them gently in the washer for tomorrow. He was doing everything he could to avoid answering questions from the man behind him.</p><p>Before Kolyat could turn to retreat to their room, Thane spoke. "I hope you do not plan to continue to stare after her every time she leaves the room. Not even I will be able to convince Ms. Lawson that there is nothing going on between you two. I believe there is already a bet going around on which one of you will confess first. Five hundred credits say it will be you.”</p><p>It was inevitable really, the crew had little to discuss outside the families they missed and the homes they were worried would be abducted next. Kolyat had never been secretive in his open admiration for the Commander, except maybe when she was around. That had certainly changed in their last few encounters.</p><p>“Five hundred credits, huh? Maybe I should place my own bet and collect the reward money.” Kolyat crossed his own arms over his chest, attempting to play it cool.</p><p>“So, you do plan to reveal your feelings? Or have you done so already? Either way, I feel I need to warn you of the potential burdens you may face choosing to purse Shepard –” the man was cut off by Kolyat’s angry snap.</p><p>“You don’t get to come in after twelve years of being absent and lecture me with dating advice. Besides, what would you know, anyways? It’s not like you had a normal life before meeting mom. Are you suggesting that being in a normal relationship will somehow be <em>burdensome </em>like we were?”</p><p>It had been over a month since Kolyat had verbally struck out at his father like that. Mostly, the comments had been small curt remarks to stop treating him as a child. This was obviously something the younger drell had been hiding away for some time, and it had to deal with more than Selene.</p><p>Thane blinked repeatedly, stunned at his son’s remark. Kolyat’s words were biting, but the assassin carefully thought over his response before speaking. “Your mother, and you, were never a burden to me, Kolyat. <em>I</em> was the burden. Most of my life until that point had been spent in sleep, disconnected from the world and my place in it. I do not believe that you have ever known such detachment. As angry as you might be, you are still capable of such feeling and liveliness.”</p><p>Thane fixed his son with a look of deep remorse and pain. The man would never be able to properly apologize for being a poor excuse for a father, but he desperately wanted Kolyat to know how much he loved him. His absence in the boy’s life had never been because of his mother and him, it had only been because of his own cowardice and excuses that he convinced himself he knew nothing outside his life as an assassin. That he was incapable of learning anything else.</p><p>Thane had been irresponsible and arrogant. Regardless, he still believed what he had to say on the subject of the Commander’s and Kolyat’s budding relationship was important.</p><p>Kolyat had a stubborn lock to his jaw as he stared back at his father. His eyes did not hold the same hatred and resentment they did three months ago, but he was defiantly resistant to the direction the conversation was taking.</p><p>“Kolyat, you have always been ruled by your emotions. This has always been clear, even to me. It is what reminds me so much of your mother.” Thane breathed a small chuckle of fondness over the similarity between the vibrant, head strong woman who had stepped in front of his sighting laser to protect a complete stranger, and the young man before him now. There was a striking resemblance in the set of their jaws, the fire burning in their eyes. “It is because of this that I fear that you may underestimate the burden that Selene bears and how it effects every facet of her life.”</p><p>“The fight with the reapers? Why wouldn’t I be aware of that? We are all here because of it.”</p><p>“Not like Selene.” Thane pressed, “You have never fallen to battle sleep Kolyat, but Selene has. Her whole life has revolved around violence and fighting. She has had to close herself off to certain emotions in order to preserve herself.”</p><p>“What do you know of her past?” Kolyat asked quietly.</p><p>Thane shook his head. “That is not a story for me to share. To be honest, I do not believe she has shared everything with me; with anyone really.”</p><p>Kolyat’s expression turned crestfallen.</p><p>Thane reached out a supportive hand to his son and rested it on the taller man’s shoulders, “Kolyat, I do not tell you any of this to deter you. Selene is not so far lost behind her walls that she is incapable of affection and love. I only wish to bring to your attention the overwhelming responsibility the galaxy has bestowed upon her. There may come a time she is forced to choose between the things she loves, and the duty that she has dedicated herself to; it becomes easy to fall into sleep when making the choice between the familiar and the foreign.</p><p>“I do not know if she has ever truly loved anyone who was more than a friend or family. The act of committing herself to something other than her job will be unfamiliar. This is the responsibility you will be taking on if you choose to pursue your relationship further.”</p><p>Kolyat looked thoughtful and a little troubled, the hostility melting. However, the blue drell fixed his father with the same stubborn look that his mother was famous for. “I believe she is worth it. I cannot explain it, father, but she makes me feel . . .” Kolyat struggled for the right word. “Grounded? Anchored? Like I am finding home for the first time in a long time.”</p><p>Thane’s brow ridges lifted in surprise at Kolyat’s revelation.</p><p>“Well, it sounds as if your mind is made up. I am happy for you, Kolyat, for you both. If Selene chooses to accept you, I know you can make her happy.”</p><p>Thane squeezed his son’s shoulder affectionately, pride swelling in his chest over how much Kolyat had grown.</p><p>The older drell indicated that he was going to return to sleep, and turned towards their rooms, but stopped short of rounding the corner. “Kolyat?”</p><p>The younger man hummed in acknowledgment.</p><p>“I believe she is starting to fall in love with you too. Be careful with her heart.” With that last comment, Thane disappeared, leaving a pleasantly hopeful Kolyat behind.</p><p>
  <em>Arashu, goddess of motherhood, protection, and devotion, bless me and aid me in my affection of another. May my intentions be clear, my heart pure, and thoughts selfless . . . </em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Might be a couple weeks until I can post again. Please see top page notes for an explanation if you have not done so already. Sorry for the interference everyone. Hopefully, during Christmas break I can finish this rewrite up and think about starting a sequel to this story. </p><p>Happy Holidays Everyone!</p>
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